Toddler toilet training
Discussion
Have read a lot about toilet training, some of it is more applicable to younger children, whereas ours is 2 and 3/4. Have tried three weekends over the last 6 weeks, and while we can take him to the toilet successfully, he has never instigated it himself. Five pairs of trousers and pants is the most we got through in one day before giving up.
He knows what the toilet is for, can happily wee in it, and asks to do so at nursery multiple times per day, although does still pee in his nappy so it's probably because he sees his friends going to the toilet.
The two key boxes that he doesn't tick are that he's perfectly happy in a wet and sometimes soiled nappy, so little motivation to go to the toilet from that; and he can never tell us that he is about to pee, just that he is now wet.
Based on those two things, is he still not ready yet? Seems like these are things where you have to follow the child, you can't force them, it's got to be their choice and stress free.
He knows what the toilet is for, can happily wee in it, and asks to do so at nursery multiple times per day, although does still pee in his nappy so it's probably because he sees his friends going to the toilet.
The two key boxes that he doesn't tick are that he's perfectly happy in a wet and sometimes soiled nappy, so little motivation to go to the toilet from that; and he can never tell us that he is about to pee, just that he is now wet.
Based on those two things, is he still not ready yet? Seems like these are things where you have to follow the child, you can't force them, it's got to be their choice and stress free.
Edited by anonymous-user on Sunday 19th April 20:11
In the absence of other replies, no help I'm afraid, except to say in our experience of one, boys seem hopeless at this. I have two daughters and two granddaughters. The granddaughters just decided they didn't want to wear nappies just after they were two with only a very rare accident.
Grandson is 3yrs 4mths and is completely disinterested in using a potty or the toilet - he'll sneak off somewhere and change his own nappy if it's wet, or just take it off if it's soiled. He has a close 'girlfriend' at nursery who was out of nappies same as other girls and we hoped she would influence him, but nope. Focus by his mum and dad during lockdown hasn't worked so far either, although we did hear today that there's something he really wants and they've been bribing him with that - he's at an age now where he can be reasoned with when he wants something.
He's aware of what he's doing - if my wife tried to speak to him on family Facetime calls he runs off as he knows she's going to ask about it!
Grandson is 3yrs 4mths and is completely disinterested in using a potty or the toilet - he'll sneak off somewhere and change his own nappy if it's wet, or just take it off if it's soiled. He has a close 'girlfriend' at nursery who was out of nappies same as other girls and we hoped she would influence him, but nope. Focus by his mum and dad during lockdown hasn't worked so far either, although we did hear today that there's something he really wants and they've been bribing him with that - he's at an age now where he can be reasoned with when he wants something.
He's aware of what he's doing - if my wife tried to speak to him on family Facetime calls he runs off as he knows she's going to ask about it!
CrgT16 said:
I was anxious with that with my son... one day it just clicked and that was it, not even wetted the bed since!! It’s amazing
Did you 'try' though, or were the signs there and you just went with it?I'm thinking of giving it a month before even putting him back in pants again, we're not in a rush although nursery would be very keen that he was trained by 3yo.
My boy showed interest a few times but was last three before he completely got it. He’s four next month and still wears night time pull ups. 95% dry in the morning but the odd wet night makes them worthwhile.
He bloody loves an outdoor wee though, will whip it out whenever possible.. he taught one of the other boys to wee against the yurt in his preschools garden - I just about contained my laughter at pick up.
He bloody loves an outdoor wee though, will whip it out whenever possible.. he taught one of the other boys to wee against the yurt in his preschools garden - I just about contained my laughter at pick up.
I’ve only got the benefit of one 5yo to compare but at two years eight months he was waaaaaay off being toilet trained. It’ll happen when it happens, you can’t rush it.
Pressure from the nursery is just that - you’re paying them a small fortune and they don’t want to deal with it. Tell them to jog on, he’ll be ready when he’s ready, as they should well know.
Pressure from the nursery is just that - you’re paying them a small fortune and they don’t want to deal with it. Tell them to jog on, he’ll be ready when he’s ready, as they should well know.
We nailed toilet training in a couple of weeks.
2 1/2 and got it.
Was summer so just spent a lot of time outside and with no pants on.
A sticker chart for positive action.
Treats after asking to go...
She has older cousins who she spends a lot of time with so I think they helped bring her along.
Now we just be tips on getting a full nights sleep!
2 1/2 and got it.
Was summer so just spent a lot of time outside and with no pants on.
A sticker chart for positive action.
Treats after asking to go...
She has older cousins who she spends a lot of time with so I think they helped bring her along.
Now we just be tips on getting a full nights sleep!
We just left the potty out, and suggested our little girl used it without making a big thing of it. All of a sudden something just clicked and she went from nappies to potty and dry through the night, almost over night.
Then she asked to start using the toilet for a wee, but wont do poo on the toilet, only the potty which I still find odd and a bit frustrating.
We stopped reading the parenting guides as we found trial and error and a bit of intuition seemed to work better for us. Friends of ours did say their two boys were slower to pick it up than their daughter, not sure if that’s common or not.
Then she asked to start using the toilet for a wee, but wont do poo on the toilet, only the potty which I still find odd and a bit frustrating.
We stopped reading the parenting guides as we found trial and error and a bit of intuition seemed to work better for us. Friends of ours did say their two boys were slower to pick it up than their daughter, not sure if that’s common or not.
M22s said:
We just left the potty out, and suggested our little girl used it without making a big thing of it. All of a sudden something just clicked and she went from nappies to potty and dry through the night, almost over night.
Then she asked to start using the toilet for a wee, but wont do poo on the toilet, only the potty which I still find odd and a bit frustrating.
We stopped reading the parenting guides as we found trial and error and a bit of intuition seemed to work better for us. Friends of ours did say their two boys were slower to pick it up than their daughter, not sure if that’s common or not.
Ours wanted to use the potty for a poo for a short phase. Then she asked to start using the toilet for a wee, but wont do poo on the toilet, only the potty which I still find odd and a bit frustrating.
We stopped reading the parenting guides as we found trial and error and a bit of intuition seemed to work better for us. Friends of ours did say their two boys were slower to pick it up than their daughter, not sure if that’s common or not.
We chucked it out so that out a stop to that.
They do say girls are easier.
It is very much of a case that they are ready when they are ready.
Sophisticated Sarah said:
Put his pants on under a nappy. It uses up pants but prevents the trousers getting soaked.
We had a similar issue and we did the above plus taking him to the toilet every 30 minutes for a wee/poo. It eventually clicked with him and now he happily pees in bushes and all sorts
We tried pantsnappy first and he was fine with it, he's really not bothered being wet on the inside. And he gets annoyed at being asked to go to the toilet more than once every few hours. He's probably just not ready, we'll come back to it.We had a similar issue and we did the above plus taking him to the toilet every 30 minutes for a wee/poo. It eventually clicked with him and now he happily pees in bushes and all sorts
Son used to go to Forest School. (Aka abandoning your kid in the woods.) Forest school teacher announces that son seems to have gained control of his ring piece and would we like to try sending him to school tomorrow in pants? Two massive turd explosions later inside full winter waterproof suit and wellies proved conclusively that he was not yet ready. He eventually seemed to get the idea that not crapping yourself made life a lot easier. Bladder control took quite a bit longer, indeed he must have been getting on for 3 1/2 before he really bothered to try to avoid pissing himself. What's a trouser change in a few minutes if you're really having fun right now, eh? I don't think it hurt that his mother started making him help wash his own pants.
We went cold turkey on a summer when our son was 2.5yrs, pants only, no more nappies and encouraging regular toilet visits.
The key for us was pants only, the washing machine will go full pelt for a while but if remaining in nappies it takes a lot of the dampness away so they are happy to stay in them. Normal ‘big boy/girl’ pants on the other hand will be uncomfortable if the wet themselves which we found helped to teach that the toilet/potty is the way to go.
But as others have said, positive reinforcement (and the occasional reward depending on progress), and don’t be hard on them if they don’t get it quickly or refuse the toilet/potty. They’ll get it eventually.
The key for us was pants only, the washing machine will go full pelt for a while but if remaining in nappies it takes a lot of the dampness away so they are happy to stay in them. Normal ‘big boy/girl’ pants on the other hand will be uncomfortable if the wet themselves which we found helped to teach that the toilet/potty is the way to go.
But as others have said, positive reinforcement (and the occasional reward depending on progress), and don’t be hard on them if they don’t get it quickly or refuse the toilet/potty. They’ll get it eventually.
Every kid is different and we had the support of the school. But we were told told dump the nappies during the day and all the kids to the toilet every 15 minutes. Build the time between toilet visits up quickly and eventually they take it from there. We had only a couple of changes of pants and the first night we tried it they slept through. This was for one boy and one girl.
My daughter was ready at 12 months because she saw her older brother doing it. Unfortunately, the school wasn’t ready so we missed that chance. At 2 years she wasn’t interested at first but very quickly picked it up. It was less than 2 weeks for both kids to go from nappies to no nappies 100% including nights. It was only a couple of days to get them through the day.
My daughter was ready at 12 months because she saw her older brother doing it. Unfortunately, the school wasn’t ready so we missed that chance. At 2 years she wasn’t interested at first but very quickly picked it up. It was less than 2 weeks for both kids to go from nappies to no nappies 100% including nights. It was only a couple of days to get them through the day.
My wife has a lot of experience with children she has worked with children for 15 years and can offer you some advice on this topic.
Hi there,
So it seems that your son isn't interested in using the toilet and that he isn't motivated either, it might be a good idea to offer him an incentive.....for example if he does a wee/poo on the toilet then he will get a sticker, or go along with his interests.
You can also read books to him about going to the toilet which may help (you may find them on Amazon).
The key thing that you have to do is that you have to keep explaining to him about using the toilet and in the early stages of toilet training you will have to take him to the toilet every 10-15 minutes!
Every time he does a wee or poo on the toilet you reward him and make a fuss of him.
Hope this helps
Hi there,
So it seems that your son isn't interested in using the toilet and that he isn't motivated either, it might be a good idea to offer him an incentive.....for example if he does a wee/poo on the toilet then he will get a sticker, or go along with his interests.
You can also read books to him about going to the toilet which may help (you may find them on Amazon).
The key thing that you have to do is that you have to keep explaining to him about using the toilet and in the early stages of toilet training you will have to take him to the toilet every 10-15 minutes!
Every time he does a wee or poo on the toilet you reward him and make a fuss of him.
Hope this helps
We've literally only these last few weeks come out the other side of this. I think if you want a quicker result you have to go in 100% and ditch the nappies.
We spent a solid weekend on lockdown (laughing to myself right now as that seemed a long time over that weekend) with at least one of us watching our little boy all the time and my partner took the following week off work, as soon as a sprinkle started straight onto potty, you do go through a lot of pants. at 1st we thought it had started to work great, we would sit him on the potty every 15 - 30 mins and sometimes a small wee would happen. Lots of praise and clapping and he seemed really happy with himself.
Then all of a sudden he snapped and refused to sit on the potty at all. Then after a lot of tears and stress we managed to get him to sit on the potty and he did a big wee (that was on the Sunday). Huge clapping and praise and it just clicked with him after that point, please don't think this was an easy click though, it was a really stressful time. He was still a little bit fussy about sitting on it the subsequent week with my partner but ok. We found he really liked to help flush his potty contents down the toilet with us and I think the pirate Pete potty book helped. Weeing really only took about a month to completely master, pooing has taken 6 months to completely be accident free, he was better at home with pooing and encouragement rather than at nursery for poos though. I know a lot of people say sit on the potty every 15 - 20 mins but I think that had a negative effect for us as our little boy got fed up with sitting on it so frequently.
We did end up using a sticker chart for poos and he finally got his Bruder crane in the post yesterday...
He's recently now indicated he doesn't like wearing a nappy at night so we're going to have to start battling night times soon as well.
We spent a solid weekend on lockdown (laughing to myself right now as that seemed a long time over that weekend) with at least one of us watching our little boy all the time and my partner took the following week off work, as soon as a sprinkle started straight onto potty, you do go through a lot of pants. at 1st we thought it had started to work great, we would sit him on the potty every 15 - 30 mins and sometimes a small wee would happen. Lots of praise and clapping and he seemed really happy with himself.
Then all of a sudden he snapped and refused to sit on the potty at all. Then after a lot of tears and stress we managed to get him to sit on the potty and he did a big wee (that was on the Sunday). Huge clapping and praise and it just clicked with him after that point, please don't think this was an easy click though, it was a really stressful time. He was still a little bit fussy about sitting on it the subsequent week with my partner but ok. We found he really liked to help flush his potty contents down the toilet with us and I think the pirate Pete potty book helped. Weeing really only took about a month to completely master, pooing has taken 6 months to completely be accident free, he was better at home with pooing and encouragement rather than at nursery for poos though. I know a lot of people say sit on the potty every 15 - 20 mins but I think that had a negative effect for us as our little boy got fed up with sitting on it so frequently.
We did end up using a sticker chart for poos and he finally got his Bruder crane in the post yesterday...
He's recently now indicated he doesn't like wearing a nappy at night so we're going to have to start battling night times soon as well.
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