Access to my son

[GAVGOLF]

Hi there - not sure if this is the right forum but here we go:

I have a 7 year old son who lives with my ex wife. In terms of access I have 1 x overnight per week and then every other weekend with him

I also get 1/2 of the school holidays

Please can I get your views on whether I would get any more time with my son if I took my ex to court?

Ps - I live about 30 miles away from him

[MaybeOneDay]

Hi there mate,

I cant help you but you might want to pop this in 'Speed, Plod and the Law'

Good luck.

[22]

Have you tried asking the ex? What were the reasons for the arrangement as it stands?

GAVGOLF said:

Hi there - not sure if this is the right forum but here we go:

I have a 7 year old son who lives with my ex wife. In terms of access I have 1 x overnight per week and then every other weekend with him

I also get 1/2 of the school holidays

Please can I get your views on whether I would get any more time with my son if I took my ex to court?

Ps - I live about 30 miles away from him

[Dave2P]

GAVGOLF said:

Please can I get your views on whether I would get any more time with my son if I took my ex to court?

Sadly, I fear not. I had to fight long and hard for a Contact Order to get less access than you have now, and it just got ignored when it suited her anyway.

You would run the risk of ending up with less contact, a far worse relationship with your ex and damaging the relationship with your son.

[Edited - on reflection, KateG28's point below is well made; your current arrangement is pretty good, unless there are other factors]

Edited by Dave2P on Monday 4th May 15:43

[Kateg28]

What more would you realistically want? Half the school holidays is fair, half the weekends seem fair as well. Do you want more time in the week? How would that fit in with his schooling and would he want to or does he do after school activities and friendship groups which would be awkward for him if he was 30 miles away in the evenings.

Ignore what the mother wants and think about what is best for him as ultimately that is what matters. If you genuinely think it is best for him (not best for you) then try that conversation with the mother. She may see sense if it is in his best interests.

After school in the week is not quality time if it is every evening.

[Wacky Racer]

GAVGOLF said:

Hi there - not sure if this is the right forum but here we go:

I have a 7 year old son who lives with my ex wife. In terms of access I have 1 x overnight per week and then every other weekend with him

I also get 1/2 of the school holidays

Please can I get your views on whether I would get any more time with my son if I took my ex to court?

Ps - I live about 30 miles away from him

Personally I would be happy with that, but that's just me.

Try to avoid court at all costs, but I'm sure you know that anyway.

[GAVGOLF]

Thanks all for your comments - I am now clear in my mind that I have a fair deal and Kate’s point really echos and makes a lot of sense

[MYOB]

If you lived close to the school, and barring any other material matters, 50/50 would be possible.

I think if you stay 30 miles away, you might find yourself in a position where your child might not want to stay with you as much as he will want to be with his mates. This is likely to be when he's at secondary school.

[theboss]

MYOB said:

If you lived close to the school, and barring any other material matters, 50/50 would be possible.

I think if you stay 30 miles away, you might find yourself in a position where your child might not want to stay with you as much as he will want to be with his mates. This is likely to be when he's at secondary school.

50/50 is great if it works for the child and the other parent agrees to it. In reality its hard to achieve, especially if one has a maintenance claim on the other.

[MYOB]

theboss said:

50/50 is great if it works for the child and the other parent agrees to it. In reality its hard to achieve, especially if one has a maintenance claim on the other.

If access is 50/50, there shouldn't be a claim to child maintenance. There isn't in my car.