Discussion
New territory for my family & I. My mum is now at the point we need to think about a Care Home as her Alzheimer’s has deteriorated considerably in recent months and my 86 year old Dad is struggling to cope. For reference she is convinced my Dad is her carer and not her husband and that he’s trying to steal her house. She verbally abusive in a daily basis and often physically too. My Dad just takes it but he realises for her own safety and his he cannot continue looking after her alone at home, they have no outside help. He tried that but she didn’t take to people coming into her home.
So the help I could do with is how do you go about finding a good home? You read so many horror stories and I always take things like a CQC reports with a pinch of salt having had my son let down so badly by an ofsted outstanding school I just don’t trust reports. What else apart from the feeling you get in a place and talking to other residents should I be looking for
Financially she will be funding it from her own savings so can we literally pick any Care Home we feel is right or does she need to be assessed by someone for suitability?
So the help I could do with is how do you go about finding a good home? You read so many horror stories and I always take things like a CQC reports with a pinch of salt having had my son let down so badly by an ofsted outstanding school I just don’t trust reports. What else apart from the feeling you get in a place and talking to other residents should I be looking for
Financially she will be funding it from her own savings so can we literally pick any Care Home we feel is right or does she need to be assessed by someone for suitability?
Any care home will do an assessment to make sure your Mum is suitable for what they can provide so you shouldn’t worry too much there.
The key thing is being as sure as possible that the place you take her to is as good as it looks and all I can suggest there is multiple visits, talk to any visiting relatives that you see and talk to other residents.
First reaction when you visit a care home, especially a dementia home, is that it’s an awful depressing place but actually it’s just an awful depressing situation and there are some amazing people doing the best they can to care for their residents. Don’t be put off by your first instincts, visit again and try a different few places and you’ll start to see the good from bad.
The key thing is being as sure as possible that the place you take her to is as good as it looks and all I can suggest there is multiple visits, talk to any visiting relatives that you see and talk to other residents.
First reaction when you visit a care home, especially a dementia home, is that it’s an awful depressing place but actually it’s just an awful depressing situation and there are some amazing people doing the best they can to care for their residents. Don’t be put off by your first instincts, visit again and try a different few places and you’ll start to see the good from bad.
First off sorry for what you’re going through at the moment, not an easy time.
As the previous poster says multiple visits are where it’s at, ideally you want an idea of staff/resident rapport and interaction, and it’s worth seeing what the food is like. Both my sets of grandparents have ended up in care homes, my maternal grandmother for dementia and the other side due to physical issues. We went through quite a few for various reasons (hospital discharged necessitating admission urgently etc).
My maternal grandmother we managed to find an excellent home for her. Proactive, lovely staff with excellent management. The place was always clean and tidy, the food was excellent and there was always something extracurricular going on as it were.
My paternal grandparents weren’t so lucky sadly as I think my aunt was blinded by flashy fixtures and fittings. They really don’t count.
For me, having been through quite a few it seems staff retention can be a key indicator. Multiple visits at different times are important, it’s very easy to provide a managed snapshot. My maternal gran’s home said multiple times to us, please don’t rush your decision, come and see us at lots of different times, it needs to be the right home for all of you. Staff were valued, comfortable and absences were low. Relationships were excellent all round and I cannot fault them.
The other side’s place was preset visit times when certain people could take them round. We weren’t involved, but despite protesting the writing was on the wall, sadly. Staff absences were high, huge amounts of agency staff in all the time to cover sickness and management were fairly shocking (I’m guessing the reason for the absences!). Whilst the staff were trying hard they just weren’t given the tools to do what was needed. The level of care was really pretty terrible. It seems to correlate in my experience.
There are some really wonderful places out there though, and some truly incredible people so do take your time to find the right one as it needs to work for all of you in your situation.
As the previous poster says multiple visits are where it’s at, ideally you want an idea of staff/resident rapport and interaction, and it’s worth seeing what the food is like. Both my sets of grandparents have ended up in care homes, my maternal grandmother for dementia and the other side due to physical issues. We went through quite a few for various reasons (hospital discharged necessitating admission urgently etc).
My maternal grandmother we managed to find an excellent home for her. Proactive, lovely staff with excellent management. The place was always clean and tidy, the food was excellent and there was always something extracurricular going on as it were.
My paternal grandparents weren’t so lucky sadly as I think my aunt was blinded by flashy fixtures and fittings. They really don’t count.
For me, having been through quite a few it seems staff retention can be a key indicator. Multiple visits at different times are important, it’s very easy to provide a managed snapshot. My maternal gran’s home said multiple times to us, please don’t rush your decision, come and see us at lots of different times, it needs to be the right home for all of you. Staff were valued, comfortable and absences were low. Relationships were excellent all round and I cannot fault them.
The other side’s place was preset visit times when certain people could take them round. We weren’t involved, but despite protesting the writing was on the wall, sadly. Staff absences were high, huge amounts of agency staff in all the time to cover sickness and management were fairly shocking (I’m guessing the reason for the absences!). Whilst the staff were trying hard they just weren’t given the tools to do what was needed. The level of care was really pretty terrible. It seems to correlate in my experience.
There are some really wonderful places out there though, and some truly incredible people so do take your time to find the right one as it needs to work for all of you in your situation.
Edited by guillemot on Thursday 28th May 21:41
Edited by guillemot on Thursday 28th May 21:44
I hate to say it, but I think you may struggle to find a care home that will admit new residents just now.
My mother moved into a care home last July because she just couldn't cope in her retirement flat, even with all the support carers and family could provide.
And be aware of the costs - she is paying almost £3,300 a month which seems to be less than the national average, but it is run by a registered charity so not driven to make a profit.
Luckily (or sadly) we managed to sell her flat earlier this month so have been able to keep paying the fees.
It might be worth giving an indication of location as local knowledge may be helpful.
But good luck finding a solution.
My mother moved into a care home last July because she just couldn't cope in her retirement flat, even with all the support carers and family could provide.
And be aware of the costs - she is paying almost £3,300 a month which seems to be less than the national average, but it is run by a registered charity so not driven to make a profit.
Luckily (or sadly) we managed to sell her flat earlier this month so have been able to keep paying the fees.
It might be worth giving an indication of location as local knowledge may be helpful.
But good luck finding a solution.
Mr Tidy said:
I hate to say it, but I think you may struggle to find a care home that will admit new residents just now.
My mother moved into a care home last July because she just couldn't cope in her retirement flat, even with all the support carers and family could provide.
And be aware of the costs - she is paying almost £3,300 a month which seems to be less than the national average, but it is run by a registered charity so not driven to make a profit.
Luckily (or sadly) we managed to sell her flat earlier this month so have been able to keep paying the fees.
It might be worth giving an indication of location as local knowledge may be helpful.
But good luck finding a solution.
Fortunately we are at the point of thinking but not needing ASAP, probably towards end of this year. My mother moved into a care home last July because she just couldn't cope in her retirement flat, even with all the support carers and family could provide.
And be aware of the costs - she is paying almost £3,300 a month which seems to be less than the national average, but it is run by a registered charity so not driven to make a profit.
Luckily (or sadly) we managed to sell her flat earlier this month so have been able to keep paying the fees.
It might be worth giving an indication of location as local knowledge may be helpful.
But good luck finding a solution.
And also I’ve recently discovered that financially they are better off than I though so I no longer need to worry about funding for a few years. We’re budgeting £5k a month as we are in Surrey and nothing is cheap around here!
solo2 said:
Fortunately we are at the point of thinking but not needing ASAP, probably towards end of this year.
And also I’ve recently discovered that financially they are better off than I though so I no longer need to worry about funding for a few years. We’re budgeting £5k a month as we are in Surrey and nothing is cheap around here!
That is good news. And also I’ve recently discovered that financially they are better off than I though so I no longer need to worry about funding for a few years. We’re budgeting £5k a month as we are in Surrey and nothing is cheap around here!
But Mum's care home is in Sutton, so also not a cheap area!
kurt535 said:
try to find a care home that has registered nurses on its team. in my experience they are better run both clinically and socially for the residents.
also, check whether local council runs any. again, in my area, some of the best homes are managed by them. it makes a difference.
I'd agree with your 1st point - qualified staff are a big plus. also, check whether local council runs any. again, in my area, some of the best homes are managed by them. it makes a difference.
But if self-funding I'd avoid any homes that have residents funded by the local authority as the authority will have a set amount they will pay, and anyone self-funding basically has to help make up the difference.
Mr Tidy said:
kurt535 said:
try to find a care home that has registered nurses on its team. in my experience they are better run both clinically and socially for the residents.
also, check whether local council runs any. again, in my area, some of the best homes are managed by them. it makes a difference.
I'd agree with your 1st point - qualified staff are a big plus. also, check whether local council runs any. again, in my area, some of the best homes are managed by them. it makes a difference.
But if self-funding I'd avoid any homes that have residents funded by the local authority as the authority will have a set amount they will pay, and anyone self-funding basically has to help make up the difference.
Lets see your evidence and the links to what youre going to show us all.
Mr Tidy said:
kurt535 said:
try to find a care home that has registered nurses on its team. in my experience they are better run both clinically and socially for the residents.
also, check whether local council runs any. again, in my area, some of the best homes are managed by them. it makes a difference.
I'd agree with your 1st point - qualified staff are a big plus. also, check whether local council runs any. again, in my area, some of the best homes are managed by them. it makes a difference.
But if self-funding I'd avoid any homes that have residents funded by the local authority as the authority will have a set amount they will pay, and anyone self-funding basically has to help make up the difference.
phumy said:
And where did you get that little gem from about paying residents having to make up the money for LA funded residents?
Lets see your evidence and the links to what youre going to show us all.
Well this is a pretty well-respected organisation that reports at least 30% higher fees for self-funders, but you'd be welcome to post anything that states otherwise! Lets see your evidence and the links to what youre going to show us all.
Or better still offer some personal experience, because in my experience until you've been there you have no idea of what it is like.
https://www.which.co.uk/later-life-care/financing-...
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