Lockdown depression
Discussion
Guys,
Not sure what I'm going to achieve by posting this but I'll try.
I started taking Sertraline yesterday having been prescribed it by a (very good) doctor. Why? I've been feeling very low for the last six weeks or more and the feelings of anxiety have, of late, been getting a lot worse. By 'low' I mean that I am convinced that there is something terrible about to happen. I don't know what it is but I know it will happen. It could be second wave of coronavirus. It could be something else. I know (in my head) that this may be irrational but that makes no difference.
How bad is this? Well, the usual; not sleeping (I can get to sleep fine but wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep), drop in appetite, drop in interest in anything that I used to enjoy. Interestingly I have very little interest in alcohol as well; a beer most nights has become one or two a week and no more. The plus side of all this is that I've lost weight. The bad news is that I'm now about 'right' and shouldn't lose any more but it's still coming off. I realised this morning that I have developed a fidget habit whereby I can't sit still when I am going through a bad patch. Thankfully I don't think anyone else has noticed this.
Work is just about OK but no more than that. Lack of concentration isn't helping with this.
What is causing it? I don't know. I think that Lockdown is part of it; I am obsessively checking figures of CV cases and deaths every day and spend far too much time on a couple of threads about it on here. If I could stop that it would probably help. We are also trying to buy a house, which I am finding incredibly stressful and I know this isn't helping. If I could take this stress away then would it help? I don't know; it might, or I might just find something else to be anxious about.
I am aware that I have good days and bad days. I had the first really bad day about 6 weeks ago. I thought that things were getting better last week but then I had some very bad days indeed over the weekend and on Monday and talked to the doctor on Tuesday, which brings us to now. On good days I can almost function normally. On bad days I'll break down into tears without any good reason, which happened several times over the weekend.
Thankfully I have a very supportive wife who is a huge help. She works in mental health which means she knows what she is talking about. I would be utterly, utterly lost without her. I also have some good and supportive friends, some of whom have also suffered similarly and they are being helpful. However I am shy about asking too much of them; I know I am not good company and don't want to be a burden, which I know I am (or will be).
I know I am not the only one on here who is struggling with lockdown or who has had depression. If anyone has any advice or helpful comments having been where I am then I'd be glad to hear them. I am told that it will be at least two weeks before the Sertraline does anything so nothing is going to change in a rush.
Thanks for your help.
Not sure what I'm going to achieve by posting this but I'll try.
I started taking Sertraline yesterday having been prescribed it by a (very good) doctor. Why? I've been feeling very low for the last six weeks or more and the feelings of anxiety have, of late, been getting a lot worse. By 'low' I mean that I am convinced that there is something terrible about to happen. I don't know what it is but I know it will happen. It could be second wave of coronavirus. It could be something else. I know (in my head) that this may be irrational but that makes no difference.
How bad is this? Well, the usual; not sleeping (I can get to sleep fine but wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep), drop in appetite, drop in interest in anything that I used to enjoy. Interestingly I have very little interest in alcohol as well; a beer most nights has become one or two a week and no more. The plus side of all this is that I've lost weight. The bad news is that I'm now about 'right' and shouldn't lose any more but it's still coming off. I realised this morning that I have developed a fidget habit whereby I can't sit still when I am going through a bad patch. Thankfully I don't think anyone else has noticed this.
Work is just about OK but no more than that. Lack of concentration isn't helping with this.
What is causing it? I don't know. I think that Lockdown is part of it; I am obsessively checking figures of CV cases and deaths every day and spend far too much time on a couple of threads about it on here. If I could stop that it would probably help. We are also trying to buy a house, which I am finding incredibly stressful and I know this isn't helping. If I could take this stress away then would it help? I don't know; it might, or I might just find something else to be anxious about.
I am aware that I have good days and bad days. I had the first really bad day about 6 weeks ago. I thought that things were getting better last week but then I had some very bad days indeed over the weekend and on Monday and talked to the doctor on Tuesday, which brings us to now. On good days I can almost function normally. On bad days I'll break down into tears without any good reason, which happened several times over the weekend.
Thankfully I have a very supportive wife who is a huge help. She works in mental health which means she knows what she is talking about. I would be utterly, utterly lost without her. I also have some good and supportive friends, some of whom have also suffered similarly and they are being helpful. However I am shy about asking too much of them; I know I am not good company and don't want to be a burden, which I know I am (or will be).
I know I am not the only one on here who is struggling with lockdown or who has had depression. If anyone has any advice or helpful comments having been where I am then I'd be glad to hear them. I am told that it will be at least two weeks before the Sertraline does anything so nothing is going to change in a rush.
Thanks for your help.
I don't have anything that can help you I'm afraid, but I can tell you that lockdown has been a colossal struggle for me too.
Back in March, 2020 was shaping up to be a great year. I'd just started a new relationship and was feeling good about things. April/May passed ok with the decent weather and no work meaning I had plenty of time outside.
June/July has been difficult. The lady I'd started seeing I discovered has been sleeping with her ex during lockdown. I started working from home and the weather here has been weeks of rain. Social life is now almost none existent, and the (imo) continued dreadful handling of the pandemic situation doesn't give me much hope for sane normality returning soon.
Be thankful for your wife. It sounds like she's been a real support and having someone like that is really great. I know the mind doesn't work very logically when depressed and it's hard to break out of the spiral.
For me I'm just trying to force myself to keep doing stuff. I know I'll feel better in the future and far too much indoor time really brings me down.
Back in March, 2020 was shaping up to be a great year. I'd just started a new relationship and was feeling good about things. April/May passed ok with the decent weather and no work meaning I had plenty of time outside.
June/July has been difficult. The lady I'd started seeing I discovered has been sleeping with her ex during lockdown. I started working from home and the weather here has been weeks of rain. Social life is now almost none existent, and the (imo) continued dreadful handling of the pandemic situation doesn't give me much hope for sane normality returning soon.
Be thankful for your wife. It sounds like she's been a real support and having someone like that is really great. I know the mind doesn't work very logically when depressed and it's hard to break out of the spiral.
For me I'm just trying to force myself to keep doing stuff. I know I'll feel better in the future and far too much indoor time really brings me down.
It sounds like you are taking the right steps to try and improve your mental health - reaching out on here for example is a good start and a good step.
The uncertainty is bound to cause anxiety and mine has been particularly bad over lockdown - but you have to tell yourself it will pass and it wont be like this forever. The most important thing to do it talk, and your wife sounds like your rock.. (like mine is to me too!).
Have you ever seen a psychologist / counsellor? Sometimes it can help to have someone who is not related / or a friend to rely in. I recently completed a course of CPD which has really helped with the low moods. Keep at it your doing better than you may think
The uncertainty is bound to cause anxiety and mine has been particularly bad over lockdown - but you have to tell yourself it will pass and it wont be like this forever. The most important thing to do it talk, and your wife sounds like your rock.. (like mine is to me too!).
Have you ever seen a psychologist / counsellor? Sometimes it can help to have someone who is not related / or a friend to rely in. I recently completed a course of CPD which has really helped with the low moods. Keep at it your doing better than you may think
Are you working from home or going out to work? I've been mainly working from home since March but now starting to do 2 or 3 days a week in the office, and couldn't believe how much more motivated and energetic I felt on Tuesday going in to work rather than just sitting at home all day. So my advice would be if you are working from home try and get out and about more and if you get the opportunity to do some work from elsewhere take it. It's amazing what a change of routine can do.
I feel your pain 
I haven't worked since January (contract finished no work in Jan/ Feb lockdown kicked in def no work).
I've got to the point now where I just don't think that its worth just existing anymore.... because thats all it is, there isn't really a life or anything to look forward to.
Last night I decided that both of my cars are being sold as there is no point having them anymore, thats just the way I'm feeling right now.
Again not much point to the post but it helps to share it!
I haven't worked since January (contract finished no work in Jan/ Feb lockdown kicked in def no work).
I've got to the point now where I just don't think that its worth just existing anymore.... because thats all it is, there isn't really a life or anything to look forward to.
Last night I decided that both of my cars are being sold as there is no point having them anymore, thats just the way I'm feeling right now.
Again not much point to the post but it helps to share it!
Eat well, exercise if you don't currently. I've never felt better than coming back from a run, I always struggle to find the motivation to go but it's worth it.
I'd try that before going anywhere near medication, keep at it enough and you'll see results which will also motivate you to continue.
I'd try that before going anywhere near medication, keep at it enough and you'll see results which will also motivate you to continue.
Agree with others.
Ive WFH for 10 years and its not the holiday people think. It can be hard. Need a dedicated office area if you can, as that can provide a demarcation from work and home.
Exercise and change of scenery works wonders.
Get a mountain bike if you have trails or countryside near by..
Ive WFH for 10 years and its not the holiday people think. It can be hard. Need a dedicated office area if you can, as that can provide a demarcation from work and home.
Exercise and change of scenery works wonders.
Get a mountain bike if you have trails or countryside near by..
The mind is a powerful thing, anxiety can creep up from nowhere, your doom laden thoughts are that, just thoughts, anyone without anxiety would dismiss them in an instant, you on the other hand let your mind convince you that something awful is going to happen, then you start obsessing over it. These thoughts are totally normal, you are not going mad, you just need to change your reaction to them.
Thanks for the answers. They all help. Today is proving to be a better day than the ones earlier on in the week which is good, although 'better' and 'worse' are patchy.
Witko, that sounds dreadful. I'm sorry to hear it. Genuinely, hang on in there. To have had such hopes only for them to be dashed is not good. Time inside isn't good; getting out is definitely good. I am immensely grateful for my wife and I can't imagine how bad things would be without her.
RS93 - it will pass. You are right. Everyone tells me this. This is not forever. However, while I know this in my head I can't believe it in myself. The gap between the two (the logical rational knowledge and the heart-feelings) are precisely the problem. Not thought about a psychologist/counsellor although it's something to think about if things get worse. Thanks for the suggestion.
Rizzo, I work from home. Have done for the last 10 years but am starting to realise that this may not be a good thing overall. A change of scene is a good idea and I'm wondering about asking a friend whether I can work from their front room one day a week for this reason. Thanks for the suggestion.
n3il123, don't think like that. It will pass. As RS93 said, this is not forever. Don't sell your cars unless you badly need the cash for something else; to do so would be taking away what you will enjoy in the future. It is worth existing. Talk to someone. Do you have a partner/family/friend?
Drezza/Canute/BMWMike - exercise is helpful. Thanks. Getting out once a day has got me thus far. I'm hoping to be back to only needing that much in due course. Routines are important. My wife getting up every morning and going to work helps keep me to a routine. Working from home is in no way the fantastic thing that some people would have you believe.
mcelliott, thanks.
Witko, that sounds dreadful. I'm sorry to hear it. Genuinely, hang on in there. To have had such hopes only for them to be dashed is not good. Time inside isn't good; getting out is definitely good. I am immensely grateful for my wife and I can't imagine how bad things would be without her.
RS93 - it will pass. You are right. Everyone tells me this. This is not forever. However, while I know this in my head I can't believe it in myself. The gap between the two (the logical rational knowledge and the heart-feelings) are precisely the problem. Not thought about a psychologist/counsellor although it's something to think about if things get worse. Thanks for the suggestion.
Rizzo, I work from home. Have done for the last 10 years but am starting to realise that this may not be a good thing overall. A change of scene is a good idea and I'm wondering about asking a friend whether I can work from their front room one day a week for this reason. Thanks for the suggestion.
n3il123, don't think like that. It will pass. As RS93 said, this is not forever. Don't sell your cars unless you badly need the cash for something else; to do so would be taking away what you will enjoy in the future. It is worth existing. Talk to someone. Do you have a partner/family/friend?
Drezza/Canute/BMWMike - exercise is helpful. Thanks. Getting out once a day has got me thus far. I'm hoping to be back to only needing that much in due course. Routines are important. My wife getting up every morning and going to work helps keep me to a routine. Working from home is in no way the fantastic thing that some people would have you believe.
mcelliott, thanks.
I have always suffered from "catastrophic thinking" where my mind seizes upon a piece of news and amplifies it up, up, up into a doomsday scenario. Your trigger is CV19, my last one was the December General Election where I became convinced Corbyn would win and the communists would seize my house and assets! All totally pathetic but that's how my mind works. I had months of worry at all times of the day and night.
Force yourself to avoid the news section of the forum and the news in general. Remember that by and large it is only bad news stories that are peddled by the media.
I now make a daily point of reviewing all the best aspects of my life, keep myself away from News other than a cursory glance. I like to be informed regarding current affairs but the mental downside is not worth it. I keep myself busy with car, garden and house projects - anything to occupy my mind and keep me living in the moment. I also do weight training,which is a key part of my life for self esteem.
If you know the triggers then you can control it. You just need to be disciplined and not be tempted to have a peek.
Good luck.
Force yourself to avoid the news section of the forum and the news in general. Remember that by and large it is only bad news stories that are peddled by the media.
I now make a daily point of reviewing all the best aspects of my life, keep myself away from News other than a cursory glance. I like to be informed regarding current affairs but the mental downside is not worth it. I keep myself busy with car, garden and house projects - anything to occupy my mind and keep me living in the moment. I also do weight training,which is a key part of my life for self esteem.
If you know the triggers then you can control it. You just need to be disciplined and not be tempted to have a peek.
Good luck.
I do agree, Hereward, its almost like being bombarded with doom and gloom every day. More often than not, its not as bad as it seems.
I think the trouble for me with lockdown is quite simply i am not distracted from thoughts enough at home.
There has been too much time for me to think, procrastinate, and worry. Meditating can help with letting the thoughts go easier rather than continually listening to them. Another issue for me is too much coffee and sugar. Quite frankly i'm having too much which has a knock on effect, sometimes i'll take the happy feeling of sugar to perk me up a bit but doesn't last long. Oh well tough times don't last
I think the trouble for me with lockdown is quite simply i am not distracted from thoughts enough at home.
There has been too much time for me to think, procrastinate, and worry. Meditating can help with letting the thoughts go easier rather than continually listening to them. Another issue for me is too much coffee and sugar. Quite frankly i'm having too much which has a knock on effect, sometimes i'll take the happy feeling of sugar to perk me up a bit but doesn't last long. Oh well tough times don't last
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