Paternity leave
Discussion
Ok,
Bump arrives end of October. I work in projects so I need to plan out what I need to do about leave.
I've got a good 20 days of holiday available as well, and I'll want some time off over Xmas.
I'm desk based and have worked at home since march.
There isn't any hard and fast rule but I'm interested in what others might had done or plan on doing.
Thoughts;
1. Take the full two weeks and a bit of holiday
2. Take a week off for the first week then spread it out taking holiday Mon/Friday?
Heads in a spin with it. Work wise im desk based so sit on the phone/emails all day.
Bump arrives end of October. I work in projects so I need to plan out what I need to do about leave.
I've got a good 20 days of holiday available as well, and I'll want some time off over Xmas.
I'm desk based and have worked at home since march.
There isn't any hard and fast rule but I'm interested in what others might had done or plan on doing.
Thoughts;
1. Take the full two weeks and a bit of holiday
2. Take a week off for the first week then spread it out taking holiday Mon/Friday?
Heads in a spin with it. Work wise im desk based so sit on the phone/emails all day.
They don't do much for the first few weeks, so as long as your home life is stable and your partner has everything in place she needs, a good circle of friends and family etc, then I would save my annual leave for when it's needed, ie Xmas in your case. Don't feel like you're missing out on anything.
Those first few weeks were pretty overwhelming for me actually, coming to terms with this new person in your life, who demands ALL of your time, it is a lot to get your head around, and sometimes the relative monotony of work is a good way to give you some headspace and thinking time.
Edit: Reading that back sounds pretty heartless from me, I obviously don't just mean leave her in the lurch and bugger off back to work, but save your annual leave for when the dust has settled and the constant stream of visitors and company for your partner have diminished after the initial wave.
PS Good luck!
PPS! I'm assuming you're already aware of the 'Expectant Dads' thread on here? Very helpful if you are stressing about anything: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Those first few weeks were pretty overwhelming for me actually, coming to terms with this new person in your life, who demands ALL of your time, it is a lot to get your head around, and sometimes the relative monotony of work is a good way to give you some headspace and thinking time.
Edit: Reading that back sounds pretty heartless from me, I obviously don't just mean leave her in the lurch and bugger off back to work, but save your annual leave for when the dust has settled and the constant stream of visitors and company for your partner have diminished after the initial wave.
PS Good luck!
PPS! I'm assuming you're already aware of the 'Expectant Dads' thread on here? Very helpful if you are stressing about anything: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Edited by Gary29 on Monday 17th August 13:10
Edited by Gary29 on Monday 17th August 13:11
Edited by Gary29 on Monday 17th August 13:20
Me personally I'd take the 2 weeks off and then another one or two weeks off holiday if you can.
Your partner has just been through 9 months of carrying her baby around and it will have played havoc with her body and she's going to be really exhausted after that.
She will need all the help she can get especially for feeds at night.
As someone else pointed out they don't do much apart from sleep eat and poop but I look at it as every moment is valuable bonding time with your baby so spend as much time as you can.
Once the baby is here and you see it you will easily decide yourself which option you will take.
Your partner has just been through 9 months of carrying her baby around and it will have played havoc with her body and she's going to be really exhausted after that.
She will need all the help she can get especially for feeds at night.
As someone else pointed out they don't do much apart from sleep eat and poop but I look at it as every moment is valuable bonding time with your baby so spend as much time as you can.
Once the baby is here and you see it you will easily decide yourself which option you will take.
Had the same thoughts when our little one was born in June.
What I did was work from home for the first week and then took 2 weeks paternity leave on weeks 2 and 3 so that too me to early July
Since then nothing except flexing my time working from Home and now have a week off next week.
I’m saving holiday til I need it and WFH is a good balance
What I did was work from home for the first week and then took 2 weeks paternity leave on weeks 2 and 3 so that too me to early July
Since then nothing except flexing my time working from Home and now have a week off next week.
I’m saving holiday til I need it and WFH is a good balance
Thing is you can always cancel any annual leave if you do decide to take book some after the 2 weeks are up.
So I'd preliminary book the time off, then when your pat leave finishes and you can then decide whether or not you want to take the extra days or just cancel them and use them later on down the line.
At least you will have more flexibility when the time comes in regards to how you feel and what you want to do rather than making a decision straight away and thinking you may have made the wrong choice.
So I'd preliminary book the time off, then when your pat leave finishes and you can then decide whether or not you want to take the extra days or just cancel them and use them later on down the line.
At least you will have more flexibility when the time comes in regards to how you feel and what you want to do rather than making a decision straight away and thinking you may have made the wrong choice.
Gary29 said:
They don't do much for the first few weeks, so as long as your home life is stable and your partner has everything in place she needs, a good circle of friends and family etc, then I would save my annual leave for when it's needed, ie Xmas in your case. Don't feel like you're missing out on anything.
Those first few weeks were pretty overwhelming for me actually, coming to terms with this new person in your life, who demands ALL of your time, it is a lot to get your head around, and sometimes the relative monotony of work is a good way to give you some headspace and thinking time.
Edit: Reading that back sounds pretty heartless from me, I obviously don't just mean leave her in the lurch and bugger off back to work, but save your annual leave for when the dust has settled and the constant stream of visitors and company for your partner have diminished after the initial wave.
PS Good luck!
PPS! I'm assuming you're already aware of the 'Expectant Dads' thread on here? Very helpful if you are stressing about anything: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
No this is what I was actually thinking myself, I'll be working from home anyway and on hand, we can't dash out somewhere to enjoy life at the moment so to be perfectly honest I think I'll reserve taking the holiday until later in the year on advice and take the two weeks off I'm given.
I'm expecting Xmas won't be sh*t and giggles this year socially but it will be nice to have some time off for family to actually come to us for once now I've got the child excuse lol.
Thanks for the kind words
Those first few weeks were pretty overwhelming for me actually, coming to terms with this new person in your life, who demands ALL of your time, it is a lot to get your head around, and sometimes the relative monotony of work is a good way to give you some headspace and thinking time.
Edit: Reading that back sounds pretty heartless from me, I obviously don't just mean leave her in the lurch and bugger off back to work, but save your annual leave for when the dust has settled and the constant stream of visitors and company for your partner have diminished after the initial wave.
PS Good luck!
PPS! I'm assuming you're already aware of the 'Expectant Dads' thread on here? Very helpful if you are stressing about anything: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
No this is what I was actually thinking myself, I'll be working from home anyway and on hand, we can't dash out somewhere to enjoy life at the moment so to be perfectly honest I think I'll reserve taking the holiday until later in the year on advice and take the two weeks off I'm given.
I'm expecting Xmas won't be sh*t and giggles this year socially but it will be nice to have some time off for family to actually come to us for once now I've got the child excuse lol.
Thanks for the kind words
Edited by Gary29 on Monday 17th August 13:10
Edited by Gary29 on Monday 17th August 13:11
Edited by Gary29 on Monday 17th August 13:20
CheesecakeRunner said:
With No1 I took two weeks off, which was my employer's paternity leave offering.
For No2 I took two weeks paternity leave plus another two weeks holiday directly afterwards. This was much better, but needed as No1 started school in the same week No2 was born.
Don't forget you also now qualify for unpaid parental leave (https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave) just in case holiday or company parental leave allowance isn't enough.
Good advice, I'm hoping we just have to worry about the one with this For No2 I took two weeks paternity leave plus another two weeks holiday directly afterwards. This was much better, but needed as No1 started school in the same week No2 was born.
Don't forget you also now qualify for unpaid parental leave (https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave) just in case holiday or company parental leave allowance isn't enough.
I had 3 weeks off when my daughter was born at the beginning of the year. I was only meant to have 2, but she was a week early and the way it worked into xmas/ new year holiday was perfect.
there is no right or wrong answer, I agree the initial few weeks (all being well!) are generally the easiest, lots of feeding/ sleeping/ changing nappies. Now if you are really struggling with leave, it ‘could’ possibly be used more effectively later on when things get tougher.
But, those first few weeks are awesome, it’s just you, your partner and a new baby and you want to be there for every single minute and not miss anything.
I’ve been so fortunate that ive had 90% working from home since march (plus 7/8wks of that not working at all) and seeing codie so much more than I ever would have had been amazing. I don’t think anyone will ever say they wish they’d seen less of their children (well maybe once they get a bit older)
there is no right or wrong answer, I agree the initial few weeks (all being well!) are generally the easiest, lots of feeding/ sleeping/ changing nappies. Now if you are really struggling with leave, it ‘could’ possibly be used more effectively later on when things get tougher.
But, those first few weeks are awesome, it’s just you, your partner and a new baby and you want to be there for every single minute and not miss anything.
I’ve been so fortunate that ive had 90% working from home since march (plus 7/8wks of that not working at all) and seeing codie so much more than I ever would have had been amazing. I don’t think anyone will ever say they wish they’d seen less of their children (well maybe once they get a bit older)
RVVUNM said:
Never really understand Paternity leave because all newborns do is sleep. Wait a while and have some time off when little one interacts.
Some sleep.
My daughter slept on my chest for the first three months. That is when she actually slept. Which was about an hour sleep, two hours awake.
Aged nearly three, she still needs less sleep than my wife.
Two weeks paternity go in a whirl. The stability of work is a great helper. I wouldn't plan ahead too much other than booking the paternity leave, the rest will line up and you will take it as you need it.
Two days after I returned to work my wife had pancreatitis, and I had another two weeks 'holiday'.
I had the 2 weeks plus a week of A/L. Most of that was spent sharing a hospital bed with the wife while they tried to induce early, and then at home on my own after he was born until the jaundice etc went away.
However, when they are first born as said above they don’t really do a lot, so I wasn’t really missing out on much.
I’d say be home long enough to allow your OH and little one to settle in, get into a routine etc. and after that there isn’t really much benefit in it.
Oh and that time when they aren’t really doing a lot is something I didn’t appreciate at the time but now mine is 2 and I consider going to work to be a break I wish I had.
However, when they are first born as said above they don’t really do a lot, so I wasn’t really missing out on much.
I’d say be home long enough to allow your OH and little one to settle in, get into a routine etc. and after that there isn’t really much benefit in it.
Oh and that time when they aren’t really doing a lot is something I didn’t appreciate at the time but now mine is 2 and I consider going to work to be a break I wish I had
.DoubleD said:
they are all different so there isnt a 1 answer fits all.
This.Some will sleep all the time (including at night)
Some will be crying continually (including at night)
Some won't feed from a bottle, meaning night time feeds require Mum, not you.
Some will sleep alone and some will only co-sleep.
I would try and leave your paternity leave as flexible as possible and see what works.
When my first was born, I took the two weeks paternity only. She slept very well and would only be breast fed. It meant, I slept reasonably well too, with only the occasional happy change to deal with at unsociable hours.
....oh and by the way, contraptions and you'll love it....
RVVUNM said:
Never really understand Paternity leave because all newborns do is sleep. Wait a while and have some time off when little one interacts.
I don’t think it’s purpose is to provide you with 2 weeks entertainment. Supporting mum, cooking, cleaning, bonding. Alien words to you I imagine. I took 2 months off. I have no idea how dads go back to work after the statutory 2 weeks. I didnt know my name after that time, let alone run a business.
As someone who really does need the full 8 hours, having baby number one come into our lives felt like the worst jet lag I'd ever felt in my life.
As someone who really does need the full 8 hours, having baby number one come into our lives felt like the worst jet lag I'd ever felt in my life.
devnull said:
I took 2 months off. I have no idea how dads go back to work after the statutory 2 weeks. I didnt know my name after that time, let alone run a business.
As someone who really does need the full 8 hours, having baby number one come into our lives felt like the worst jet lag I'd ever felt in my life.
Thanks for the words of enthusiasm...I suppose we won't be flying on long haul so it will be almost the same right?As someone who really does need the full 8 hours, having baby number one come into our lives felt like the worst jet lag I'd ever felt in my life.
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