Fifty Shades...

[AB]

Had to share...

The missus bought a Paperback
...down the market, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;

....T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right - a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
.....I am the dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd suffered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.

[AB]

Moved to books... really?

[Mr Roper]

A polite way of saying it was st, perhaps?

[AB]

Perhaps!

[davhill]

Mr Roper said:

A polite way of saying it was st, perhaps?

As indeed is the book itself.

[AB]

davhill said:

As indeed is the book itself.

You've read it!?

[davhill]

Yes, being an orfur meself, I had to see what the fuss is about.

The book offended me in a professional sense...it's really badly written.

And before you ask...www.plague-thriller.co.uk.

[fuzzyyo]

My girlfriend read it and thought it was st. She reckoned the people who go mental for it are those that have never read a book before.

[hairykrishna]

AB said:

davhill said:

As indeed is the book itself.

You've read it!?

I've read it, didn't take long and I was curious. It's properly st.

[897sma]

AB said:

Had to share...

The missus bought a Paperback
...down the market, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;

....T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right - a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
.....I am the dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd suffered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.

Brilliant

[g3org3y]

fuzzyyo said:

My girlfriend read it and thought it was st. She reckoned the people who go mental for it are those that have never read a book before.

Same with the Dan Brown brigade.

[Paul Dishman]

g3org3y said:

fuzzyyo said:

My girlfriend read it and thought it was st. She reckoned the people who go mental for it are those that have never read a book before.

Same with the Dan Brown brigade.

One of the girls at work read it- Mills and Boon with shagging was the verdict...

[FiF]

I took a look at a version for men, Fifty Sheds of Grey, in Smiths the other day.

Opened a page or two at random and found erotic shed porn for unreconstructed males. For example

MILFs

Mowers I Like to Fix.



Or

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall... but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.

“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. ‘I need to be punished.’ So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.