Worst excuse heard for taking sickleave off work?
Discussion
Just been speaking to one of my line managers about stuff and things.
We got onto the subject of how hard it is to fire people these days without risk of tribunal.
HEard that one employee, same job as me (field service engineer) has been basically "on the sick" for over 2 years. He is hardly ever at work on full pay because he knows how to play the system. He refuses to lift anything (even small profile PC's) because "its too risky to his health" and we even sent him £2000 worth of hydraulic trolly jack, which he said he couldnt use because it was the wrong type.
Health and safety officer went and visited him to discover he hadnt even opened the package the jack came in
This guy works on a hospital site with hundreds of trollys and lifting stuff around at his disposal. We have all had the manual handling and H&S risk assesments etc. Just takes the
ing piss, there again its useful to know what one can get away with (although no matter how pissed off I get with my company, lucky for them that I could never morally do the stuff he is pulling 
)
So whats the most pathetic excuse you have heard that has been got away with due to this stupid culture we have today?
We got onto the subject of how hard it is to fire people these days without risk of tribunal.
HEard that one employee, same job as me (field service engineer) has been basically "on the sick" for over 2 years. He is hardly ever at work on full pay because he knows how to play the system. He refuses to lift anything (even small profile PC's) because "its too risky to his health" and we even sent him £2000 worth of hydraulic trolly jack, which he said he couldnt use because it was the wrong type.
Health and safety officer went and visited him to discover he hadnt even opened the package the jack came in
This guy works on a hospital site with hundreds of trollys and lifting stuff around at his disposal. We have all had the manual handling and H&S risk assesments etc. Just takes the
ing piss, there again its useful to know what one can get away with (although no matter how pissed off I get with my company, lucky for them that I could never morally do the stuff he is pulling ) So whats the most pathetic excuse you have heard that has been got away with due to this stupid culture we have today?
My company would just fire them 
One person had been working at my place for about 3 months and had to go in to hospital. He was off for about a month.
The company I work for made him make up all the hours he was off ill!!
He got so pi55ed off he walked in the end, and didn't even do his notice period
Im my company you are entitled to a £500 salary uplift every three months, but if you are off sick for just one day or have two weeks or more holiday (which they make you take in a block of two weeks) they will delay your salary uplift by a month, or until you have done three full months.
One person had been working at my place for about 3 months and had to go in to hospital. He was off for about a month.
The company I work for made him make up all the hours he was off ill!!
He got so pi55ed off he walked in the end, and didn't even do his notice period
Im my company you are entitled to a £500 salary uplift every three months, but if you are off sick for just one day or have two weeks or more holiday (which they make you take in a block of two weeks) they will delay your salary uplift by a month, or until you have done three full months.
I had one colleague today claim that his bout of pneumonia earlier this year was contributed too by wokrking too hard so he's not goign to overdo it...only thing is he did ****all work before his pneumonia so I'm eagerly awaiting to see how he could possibly do less.
Oh well - if the company won't do anything about him they can keep him, I'm off.
Oh well - if the company won't do anything about him they can keep him, I'm off.
Public sector 
Never in my life have I seen such a weak bunch of people. Lots of very good, hard-working individuals, but a load of people that will go off sick for a week or sometimes weeks at a time!
The work is a complete piece of pi$$, I've never had a more relaxed and stress-free environment, yet these people can't hack it. The mere mention of deadlines or increased workload has them in panic attacks and fainting fits (I'm serious, one girl collapsed!!).
My last job I worked literally twice the hours most weeks and had REAL customer service deadlines and PROPER performance targets which affected my salary to the tune of hundred and even thousands each month in performance bonuses.
Jeez 
GET A GRIP, PEOPLE!!!
Never in my life have I seen such a weak bunch of people. Lots of very good, hard-working individuals, but a load of people that will go off sick for a week or sometimes weeks at a time!
The work is a complete piece of pi$$, I've never had a more relaxed and stress-free environment, yet these people can't hack it. The mere mention of deadlines or increased workload has them in panic attacks and fainting fits (I'm serious, one girl collapsed!!).
My last job I worked literally twice the hours most weeks and had REAL customer service deadlines and PROPER performance targets which affected my salary to the tune of hundred and even thousands each month in performance bonuses.
Jeez
GET A GRIP, PEOPLE!!!
Broke my foot once, had two days off for that (signed off for 6 weeks), got a bollocking from the consultant 2 weeks later when I went for a check up and was told if I carried on walking on it they'd have to cut it open and pin it as it wasn't healing correctly....... So I got hold of some crutches 
This "I've got a slight twinge I need a fortnight off" mentality really gets on my nerves.
>> Edited by Matt_T16 on Thursday 12th August 00:08
This "I've got a slight twinge I need a fortnight off" mentality really gets on my nerves.
>> Edited by Matt_T16 on Thursday 12th August 00:08
JOKE aka Thread hijack.
Bloke calls in and asks someone to tell the boss he will not be in today, since he is sick.
When the boss finds out he is really pi$$ed about it, and demands to talk to the guy on the phone.
The bloke says "I told you, I am not in today, I am sick"
The boss demands "Just how sick are you?"
"Well, I am in bed with my sister!"
:fetchscoat:
Bloke calls in and asks someone to tell the boss he will not be in today, since he is sick.
When the boss finds out he is really pi$$ed about it, and demands to talk to the guy on the phone.
The bloke says "I told you, I am not in today, I am sick"
The boss demands "Just how sick are you?"
"Well, I am in bed with my sister!"
:fetchscoat:
plotloss said:
I had a day sick at a previous firm after being told that 'I would rather be told the truth than have a lie spun to me'
'Richard, I'm not coming in, its 8am and we stopped drinking about 20 minutes ago. Shorry.
Done something similar at my place. I got a round of applause.
Last time I was a permie (about 5 or 6 years ago) I was a bit low and had had a bit of time off due to illness. With hindsight I'd been a little soft on myself (eg. having had a Wednesday and Thursday off ill, took the Friday as well) and was called into the office of one of the directors and told that members of staff of my seniority were expected to set an example and not be ill!
There seems to be this macho mentality that real men don't take sick leave, they crawl in by their fingernails and sit at their desk looking sh*t and spreading their germs everywhere.
Having said that, being a contractor and having a "no work, no money" situation does concentrate the mind somewhat and dissuade you from taking holiday, let along sickies.
>> Edited by JonRB on Thursday 12th August 09:56
There seems to be this macho mentality that real men don't take sick leave, they crawl in by their fingernails and sit at their desk looking sh*t and spreading their germs everywhere.
Having said that, being a contractor and having a "no work, no money" situation does concentrate the mind somewhat and dissuade you from taking holiday, let along sickies.
>> Edited by JonRB on Thursday 12th August 09:56
I worked for a company that employed 90% women in manual assembly tasks (about 1000 of them) .
They had a policy that if you took time off with in a week of a factory shut down you had to get a doctors note.
Now. I came back to work for 2 days after christmas and on the second day my boss sent me home with flu. My wife and children had it also and my youngest daughter had the doctor called for a home visit. I knew I needed a sick note even for the 2 days I was intending to be off so I asked the doctor.
She took one look at me and said that I'd need 2 weeks off to recover and that If I was to return to work earlier it would contrevene Health and safety rules.
I felt right as rain after 3 days and phoned her to ask for a shorter note, but she said NO WAY as I needed 2 full weeks. So I stayed at home and looked after everyone else. Then we decided to have a few days holiday so we went to centre parks for the second week (cheap just after new year).
All because of the Companies Policy and my doctors attitude to it.
They had a policy that if you took time off with in a week of a factory shut down you had to get a doctors note.
Now. I came back to work for 2 days after christmas and on the second day my boss sent me home with flu. My wife and children had it also and my youngest daughter had the doctor called for a home visit. I knew I needed a sick note even for the 2 days I was intending to be off so I asked the doctor.
She took one look at me and said that I'd need 2 weeks off to recover and that If I was to return to work earlier it would contrevene Health and safety rules.
I felt right as rain after 3 days and phoned her to ask for a shorter note, but she said NO WAY as I needed 2 full weeks. So I stayed at home and looked after everyone else. Then we decided to have a few days holiday so we went to centre parks for the second week (cheap just after new year).
All because of the Companies Policy and my doctors attitude to it.
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