Star Wars comes to Manchester
Discussion
I had the unfortunate task of entering the domain of 'Madchest-oh' on Friday afternoon for sundry work related purposes.
It's some time since I've subjected myself to this endurance and I feel compelled to reprieve the role of one of Britain's most celebrated acting sons by way of quotation from one of his most famous of characters; the great Jedi master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
I challenge anyone to nominate a town or city within Britain where every other pedestrian looks so desperately malnourished, with wild, crazed glares that they seem to a man, predisposed to an instinctive introductory lesson in their latest criminal technique, be it smash and grab or a less eloquent expression of vagabondism c/o the simple art of muggery.
What an absolute toilet.
It's some time since I've subjected myself to this endurance and I feel compelled to reprieve the role of one of Britain's most celebrated acting sons by way of quotation from one of his most famous of characters; the great Jedi master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
I challenge anyone to nominate a town or city within Britain where every other pedestrian looks so desperately malnourished, with wild, crazed glares that they seem to a man, predisposed to an instinctive introductory lesson in their latest criminal technique, be it smash and grab or a less eloquent expression of vagabondism c/o the simple art of muggery.
What an absolute toilet.
De old chap you clearly have been leading a sheltered life, I have to stop over in Weymouth on occasion for work purposes and even this seaside resort is a very uncomfortable place to be on a Saturday night. Cambridge town centre is like a riot zone and central Leicester is a police no go area, I remember madcop saying that they were finding it hard to get the police to work these cess pits on a night shift because of the amount of drunk/drugged subhuman pondlife that come out at night. Sfunny that it doesn't seem to be a problem on the continent
Forgive me; perhaps I should be a little clearer.
I was referring not to the villainy that is all too common in even the most quaint and picturesque of our treasured hamlets and small villages these days but the tirade of desperados who stagger along in broad daylight.
For example, a recent passage through Portsmouth demonstrated the depressing pertinence of this observation. Compared to many northern urban centres, this bustling port seemed reasonably affable. Most strikingly, few of the shops on the high street had shutters or metal guards.
Now admittedly, as dark descended, ne'er do wells of an almost eighteenth century pressgang variety suddenly appeared from out of the shadows with their own, peculiar brand of maritime malevolance.
But in Madchest-oh, the threat is not vampiric in it's subservience to daylight. That is the key difference.
I acquiesce on the point that everywhere from Thurso to The Lizard, Anglessey to Norwich is now beset by thuggery and vermin. Some areas are merely infected to a more striking degree.
I'm sure our associates in Brum, Glasgow and London can make equally compelling cases for their cities.
I was referring not to the villainy that is all too common in even the most quaint and picturesque of our treasured hamlets and small villages these days but the tirade of desperados who stagger along in broad daylight.
For example, a recent passage through Portsmouth demonstrated the depressing pertinence of this observation. Compared to many northern urban centres, this bustling port seemed reasonably affable. Most strikingly, few of the shops on the high street had shutters or metal guards.
Now admittedly, as dark descended, ne'er do wells of an almost eighteenth century pressgang variety suddenly appeared from out of the shadows with their own, peculiar brand of maritime malevolance.
But in Madchest-oh, the threat is not vampiric in it's subservience to daylight. That is the key difference.
I acquiesce on the point that everywhere from Thurso to The Lizard, Anglessey to Norwich is now beset by thuggery and vermin. Some areas are merely infected to a more striking degree.
I'm sure our associates in Brum, Glasgow and London can make equally compelling cases for their cities.
apache said: Cambridge town centre is like a riot zone and central Leicester is a police no go area
Not wanting to be biased (being from Leicester originally), but which bit of central Leicester are you referring to? I have often been out there on a Friday and Saturday night, and see plenty of police out and about, as well as feeling perfectly safe.
Haven't been back for a few months, but doubt it would have changed that drastically in that period. At least I hope not, as I will be on the lash there next weekend for me buuurfdeeee!
The recent earthquakes, or to be more accurate, slight tremors, that have beset Manchester lately have made the Rainy City a more deisrable place to live.
Like many of our big cities, Manchester is a mixture of very good and very bad. What I find terribly sad (and this isn't unique to Manchester) is the general opinion that crime is accepted as part of daily life. From international drug chiefs, car theft and burglary, the lives of the diminishing "good people" are more-than-often destroyed, meaning that they themselves turn to crime because everyone else is at it.
It's a great shame. The great Northern warm welcome used to be a true sentiment. But now I fear selfish actions and inconsiderations are the order of the day.
As for Salford, that's another story...
Like many of our big cities, Manchester is a mixture of very good and very bad. What I find terribly sad (and this isn't unique to Manchester) is the general opinion that crime is accepted as part of daily life. From international drug chiefs, car theft and burglary, the lives of the diminishing "good people" are more-than-often destroyed, meaning that they themselves turn to crime because everyone else is at it.
It's a great shame. The great Northern warm welcome used to be a true sentiment. But now I fear selfish actions and inconsiderations are the order of the day.
As for Salford, that's another story...
Quite the point, Spook.
And this is what's so bloody awful about it.
During said visit, I couln't resist a spot of penne carbonara at Luigi's and sure enough, amongst the Gekko wannabes, an atmosphere of serene gentility, optimism even, was pervasive. Felt like the good old days of 15 years back. Sun, something fizzy with a camp brolly protruding thus and a nice air cooled flat six waiting in the underground to boot.
And yet how false a sense of security this was; only seconds after leaving the Peronic emporium I was transported instantaneously back to the set of George Lucas's most endearing space port...
Some of these urchins really did appear to have the death sentence on twelve systems.
And this is what's so bloody awful about it.
During said visit, I couln't resist a spot of penne carbonara at Luigi's and sure enough, amongst the Gekko wannabes, an atmosphere of serene gentility, optimism even, was pervasive. Felt like the good old days of 15 years back. Sun, something fizzy with a camp brolly protruding thus and a nice air cooled flat six waiting in the underground to boot.
And yet how false a sense of security this was; only seconds after leaving the Peronic emporium I was transported instantaneously back to the set of George Lucas's most endearing space port...
Some of these urchins really did appear to have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Furthermore, Derestrictor, the feds know who the majority of the urchins are, but there's a feeling if the police make waves, or moreover, make arrests, the unstable ocean will become a quagmire of riots and chaos. Either way, the law abiders suffer.
I'd say let's have the civil unrests that riots bring. It may not ensure a brighter future, but the alternative is the cliched vision of crime syndicates running our cities.
I'd say let's have the civil unrests that riots bring. It may not ensure a brighter future, but the alternative is the cliched vision of crime syndicates running our cities.
Spook; I don't want to start a socio-economic and political dissection of contemporary urban decay but I totally empathise with the point you make.
I would simply say again that it seems like every other person on the streets of this particular metropolis looks unfeasibly aggressive.
I would simply say again that it seems like every other person on the streets of this particular metropolis looks unfeasibly aggressive.
It may well have been done before, but
www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/craptown/30_5/england.htm
is a rather good list. Hull is worth a look, just for the quality of the rants.
Dan
www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/craptown/30_5/england.htm
is a rather good list. Hull is worth a look, just for the quality of the rants.
Dan
DanL said: It may well have been done before, but
www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/craptown/30_5/england.htm
is a rather good list. Hull is worth a look, just for the quality of the rants.
Dan
Oh yes - very good! 
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