Perks of the job

[mrs fish]

After four and a half years in the same job, I finally get a perk, is that a record??

Anyway at 2.00pm this afternoon, I'm off to London to see the Press Premiere of the new James Bond film. How cool is that

[DavidP]

You lucky thing (not for the perkless 4.5 years)

Have a great time.

[CarZee]

good effort...

at a notional ticket value of £50, you've earned your perk at a rate of 4.7 pence per working day..

Hope you're taking a camcorder...

[CarZee]

who get's the crappiest perks then?

I used to be allowed 1 free newspaper a day when I worked at NI.. rough value of £1 a week if I took the Sun or about £1.50 for the Times..

No discounts on Sky TV though

[SBD]

My most enjoyable perk so far has been 4 days in Cannes in a 4 star hotel with access to free watersports etc. etc.

[CarZee]

mungo said:Only you CarZee would think about working out the rate per working day Mrs Fish earned that perk!

No need to ask what you were busy thinking about though, is there?

(quite likely Mrs Fish's 'perks')


>> Edited by CarZee on Friday 8th November 10:38

[SGirl]

I don't think I've ever got any perks in any of my past jobs. In fact, in the last one the boss even used to keep the pens, etc. under lock and key and only "senior management" (me!) was allowed to file a request for new pens in case any of the thieving types he employed made off with the very tools of the trade... Sigh.

I had a constant stream of people in my office asking for new pens, then I had to put these requests to Him Who Shall Be Obeyed...

Nice to know I was being paid for doing something useful with my time.

[SBD]

I think we are all missing the biggest perk of all time though which is being able to go for a poo and get paid for it !!
All we need now is for CarZee to work out what this amounts to in "poopay" based on an average wage of £25k and an average dumptime of 10 mins taken daily......

[mrs fish]

SGirl said: I don't think I've ever got any perks in any of my past jobs. :



>> Edited by mrs fish on Friday 8th November 10:58

[CarZee]

Don't cry Mrs Fish - we'll all be sat in the office watching the clock while you're swanning about in London going to film previews..

Just try not to think of what we'll be saying about you while you're gone

[raceboy]

Best 'perk' I've had was last year when I was responsable for buying some new fangled CMM measureing machine, strangly enough I had a leaning towards a company who had a hostipality box at Donington and managed to blag a years worth of free tickets, (amounted to about £500 worth) But then 'left' the company before the deal went through with a different supplyer

[mondeoman]

SBD said: My most enjoyable perk so far has been 4 days in Cannes in a 4 star hotel with access to free watersports etc. etc.

Watersports!!!!!!
Blimey - the company must've REALLY liked you!

[mrs fish]

CarZee said: Don't cry Mrs Fish - we'll all be sat in the office watching the clock while you're swanning about in London going to film previews..

Just try not to think of what we'll be saying about you while you're gone

I'm sure Mr Fish will keep me updated

[CarZee]

SBD said:All we need now is for CarZee to work out what this amounts to in "poopay" based on an average wage of £25k and an average dumptime of 10 mins taken daily......

based on 7 hour days, ten minutes per day is 1/42 of your working time (.0238) so you're earning £595.23 a year for shitting.

Looking at this the other way, if an arbitrary average shit weights 400g, you'll produce 94kg of working shit a year. When someone tells you that their pay is shit, if they're on £25k, they're actually being paid 3948kg of shit.

[DavidP]

Worst perk:
Geraldine (Mrs DavidP) 75p a week in LV's!

Best perk:
Me, two all ex's paid trips to Royal Westmoreland in Barbados, returning on Concorde.

And........next Friday, lunch and a tasting at Chateau Lafite Rothschild (sorry Roms, couldn't resist it)

[SGirl]

CarZee, a 7-hour day.... 7 hours?! Part-timer.

[CarZee]

mungo said: I am actually very jealous too (bit of a JB fan)

Did you miss out on all the Goldeneye freebies when that was launched? IBM did a massive placement/sponsorship deal and all our IBM guys (at Northamber) got shitloads of Golden Eye freebies - flight jackets etc..

[Oi_Oi_Savaloy]

In that case CarZee please could you answer this:

If I said that my boss is full of shit please could you work out how long it would take me to physically fill him with it, seeing as he's 6' 2", 14st and I earn 24K?

Thanks very much.

Also if I ate on average 6 square meals a day (in order to fill my crap boss as quickly as possible) how many meals would it take me before I had brimmed the tosser I work for?

[plotloss]

Worst perks eh?

Half price extended warranty...

Matt.

[t1grm]

Not quite a perk of the job but when I was doing my A-levels they had something called work shadowing. Sort of like work experience except you spent a week looking over the shoulder of a professional person rather than making the tea and sweeping floor. As I wanted to be a Naval Architect at the time I got a week at Camper and Nicholson in Gosport.

Anyway the week I got there they had just finished this 2M quid luxury motor yacht (this is 2M quid 13 years ago probably 4-5M now). Basically I spent the entire week (in June with glorious sun) pissing about in the Solent on this yacht doing sea trials. Whohoo !! Me thinks I could get used to this. Alas I still can’t afford one...