Bah. Humbug. (Rant warning)
Discussion
Bloody Christmas soon.
The time of year that you have to be polite to people who at any other time you would rather share a tank with a shoal of starving shark than even look at.
Of fighting through crowds of people to try and work out exactly how little you can spend on some pointless trinket without giving offence to the person you're giving it to.
Getting Christmas cards with warm messages in, and then realising that the last time you had contact with this person was last year with a very similar card. If you can't be bothered to pick up the phone and dial a number occasionally, don't bother at Christmas with some tacky cartoon snowman either...
Six hours sitting in a four lane traffic jam with some senile idiot wittering on the radio about how great it is that everyone visits people during the holidays. Visit away, but not on the roads I'm using.
The inability to buy *anything* without Christmas pop records on about 20 minute repeat. Standing in a queue waiting to be served by some bored 17 year old who doesn't want to be wearing that silly hat and the badge telling me he's here to help, while the strains of Slade slowly turn you brains to cream cheese.
Enormous queues in supermarkets as the sheep panic because the shops are shut for 48 hour, and buy enough to feed a small 3rd world country for a week.
Going to a party and being given *a* drink. I'm going to need slightly more than that.
Being woken up on Christmas day at 7:30am by an excitable younger relative to "go open presents". The small child being unaware that you stopped drinking about 3 hours ago, and you either need industrial strength aspirin, or another drink.
Finding that other drink at 8am and realising that it's not going to help.
The inevitable Christmas lunch family argument.
The clean up.
Turkey sandwiches. Turkey rolls. Turkey salad. Turkey jelly. Turkey chocolate cake. Turkey and just about anything to get rid of it because some idiot bought a 25lb bird to feed 6 of you.
Those strangely flat few days between Boxing Day and New Years Eve, where there's nothing to do but wander around sales with ever other human in the entire country.
Drunken young ladies looking for New Year's kisses - ah, hang on....
I think I've found something to look forward to.
The time of year that you have to be polite to people who at any other time you would rather share a tank with a shoal of starving shark than even look at.
Of fighting through crowds of people to try and work out exactly how little you can spend on some pointless trinket without giving offence to the person you're giving it to.
Getting Christmas cards with warm messages in, and then realising that the last time you had contact with this person was last year with a very similar card. If you can't be bothered to pick up the phone and dial a number occasionally, don't bother at Christmas with some tacky cartoon snowman either...
Six hours sitting in a four lane traffic jam with some senile idiot wittering on the radio about how great it is that everyone visits people during the holidays. Visit away, but not on the roads I'm using.
The inability to buy *anything* without Christmas pop records on about 20 minute repeat. Standing in a queue waiting to be served by some bored 17 year old who doesn't want to be wearing that silly hat and the badge telling me he's here to help, while the strains of Slade slowly turn you brains to cream cheese.
Enormous queues in supermarkets as the sheep panic because the shops are shut for 48 hour, and buy enough to feed a small 3rd world country for a week.
Going to a party and being given *a* drink. I'm going to need slightly more than that.
Being woken up on Christmas day at 7:30am by an excitable younger relative to "go open presents". The small child being unaware that you stopped drinking about 3 hours ago, and you either need industrial strength aspirin, or another drink.
Finding that other drink at 8am and realising that it's not going to help.
The inevitable Christmas lunch family argument.
The clean up.
Turkey sandwiches. Turkey rolls. Turkey salad. Turkey jelly. Turkey chocolate cake. Turkey and just about anything to get rid of it because some idiot bought a 25lb bird to feed 6 of you.
Those strangely flat few days between Boxing Day and New Years Eve, where there's nothing to do but wander around sales with ever other human in the entire country.
Drunken young ladies looking for New Year's kisses - ah, hang on....
I think I've found something to look forward to.
Enormous queues in supermarkets as the sheep panic because the shops are shut for 48 hour, and buy enough to feed a small 3rd world country for a week.
Never understood this. Working one boxing day so went down the supermarket on the 23rd around 12 midnight for sarny fodder and the place was swarming with people filling the trollys. No bread left except one of them slimming loaves. No ham etc in fact the place had been cleaned out. All I wanted was me dinner boxing day. Same thing happens when 2 snow flakes ar seen together, panic, must clear out super market shelves. Muppets.
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In an amendment to this post, from August, it transpires that we're having my parents down for xmas. Oh joy
With you 100%, Mr E.
Humbug indeed.
>> Edited by CarZee on Sunday 10th November 22:11
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www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=15120&f=0&h=0
[/recycle]No - sitting on arse for 5 days eating & drinking might be good, but please, no tinsel, no stupid plastic tree, no cards, no religion, no spending money on piss-poor presents that'll be shoved in a drawer and never seen again. And as for the shite on TV, well....explain???
Christmas is banned in the CarZee household this year - we're not having it! Humbug.
Christmas is magic. Sitting on @rse for 5 days eating brown food and drinking booze.
It's an exercise in vapid consumerist gluttonly which serves no spiritual or social purpose anymore & thus is redundant. Move the bank holidays to August.
I don't need an excuse to eat a hearty meal and get pissed with friends & family. I certainly feel no obligation to adhere to an outmoded religious celebration. Tradition is no friend of mine.
So just you enjoy the melee at Lakeside/Meadowhall/MetroCentre/Trafford Centre/Bluewater. Enjoy the jangly music about sleigh bells and santa and just keep paying Slade the royalties for that damned stupid song. It's not for me.
Christmas is about giving all your money away to greedy retailers and not being able to speak to your departmental secretary for a year after drunkenly groping her tits at the office party.
Humbug, Humbug and thrice Humbug.
ps Mrs CarZee knows how I feel about xmas, but I haven't told her about my proposed cancellation of this years event, so I'll probably get my arse kicked when I get home tonight
In an amendment to this post, from August, it transpires that we're having my parents down for xmas. Oh joy
With you 100%, Mr E.
Humbug indeed.
>> Edited by CarZee on Sunday 10th November 22:11
!!!!!!! Lots of them are mingers 
If I were PM, shops would be banned from the commercial exploitation of Christmas, until December 1st. And all sleigh bell-containing jingles would be punishable by an evening with Dale Winton for the culprit. Plus, illness would be banned for the week between Christmas and New Year, so I can have a week off, too!
I'll swap you your Cerbera for my Primera I love Christmas, me. Get to see all my family again, friends all back home at the same time, and I get to buy nice presents for everyone.
I really enjoy finding something interesting for everyone, something that they'll appreciate but wouldn't have thought to buy for themselves.
I like buying roast chestnuts from a street seller, hearing the carols, and I even like hearing the Christmas compilation hits.
I enjoy buying the Turkey, and bringing it home on Christmas eve, and going out for Christmas drinks with everyone from work.
Smashing time of year as far as I'm concerned.
I really enjoy finding something interesting for everyone, something that they'll appreciate but wouldn't have thought to buy for themselves.
I like buying roast chestnuts from a street seller, hearing the carols, and I even like hearing the Christmas compilation hits.
I enjoy buying the Turkey, and bringing it home on Christmas eve, and going out for Christmas drinks with everyone from work.
Smashing time of year as far as I'm concerned.
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