Comedy justification for looking like a numpty.
Comedy justification for looking like a numpty.
Author
Discussion

mel

Original Poster:

10,168 posts

296 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
I put my foot in it big style last night when introduced to the partner of a colleague, during polite conversation I asked what he did for a living and got the reply "I'm a long distance lorry driver" I then steamed straight in with "Christ I hope you haven't got those daft LED's on your washer jets and a line of CD's along the front of the cab" but not only did I get the blank look but the response of "Yes and I'm bloody glad too they've saved my neck a few times". Now this is where it gets really comedy value he then proceeded to try convincing me that the combination of blue LED's (because of their position in the light spectrum don't you know ) and the CD's was able to "reflect" (not even refract) the beam of a police laser and that I must be a numpty for not nowing such a pearl of wisdom. I stiffled a snigger replied with "I thought the police were trying to get a reflection of their laser of the front of your lorry" and shuffled off to mingle with some others higher up the evolutionary chain mumbling "cnut" (mental image of police laser hitting a cd and bursts of Tom Jones filling the cab)

Christmas parties don't you just love them, you get to meet such a wide and varied cross section of brain donor, be carefull people there are those out their that actually believe this kind of bollox and their licensed to drive 50 tonne trucks.

Podie

46,646 posts

296 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
d'oh!

Jinx

11,853 posts

281 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
Does it make a difference what CD's you use? Anything by the Police probably would work against you....

Fatboy

8,247 posts

293 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
Glad to see you didn't try to smooth it over. Always good to stick to your guns when you've just insulted a numpty. Nice one mel!

mervynP

366 posts

282 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all

Now this is where it gets really comedy value he then proceeded to try convincing me that the combination of blue LED's (because of their position in the light spectrum don't you know ) and the CD's was able to "reflect" (not even refract) the beam of a police laser and that I must be a numpty for not nowing such a pearl of wisdom.


As a trained optics profesional with a PhD in laser physics, can I assure everybody that this is UTTER TOSS. Blue LEDS (short wavelength) do not interfere with red/infrared lasers (long wavelength), they just look stupid. And as for the CDs......

Where do people get these ideas from? I'm off to do a web search and find out....

mondeoman

11,430 posts

287 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
Oh
My
God!!!

:mademelaffalottho:

dennisthemenace

15,605 posts

289 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
Ecellent ! well done Mel

PetrolTed

34,461 posts

324 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
mervynP said:

Where do people get these ideas from? I'm off to do a web search and find out....


Perhaps we could suggest something equally ludicrous and see if anyone picks up on it

Any suggestions?

apache

39,731 posts

305 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
hows about an ad for a large magnet, put it in your boot to deflect the lasers

Chesta

256 posts

279 months

Thursday 12th December 2002
quotequote all
mel- so you've had the pleasure of meeting my father-in-law then??????? !

wedg1e

27,002 posts

286 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
Years ago, in my ham radio days, I started a rumour on the CB channels that old, used coaxial cable worked better than the new stuff because it acquired an 'RF coating' that helped the signals travel up the cable better. Not only did I keep finding people telling each other this, some of them even came and told me! To add insult to (their) injury I was then able to flog several lengths of old coax that I'd had lying around in the cupboard for a while, at inflated prices

CB-ers, don't you love 'em. Errr... aren't a lot of truckers also CB-ers...?! :arfarf:

Ian

Fer

7,760 posts

301 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
How about fog lights give police laser and speed cameras something to aim at, so the more people who use their fog lights during normal times, the less likely us law abiding (mostly) people are to be caught speeding? Well, we can hope! :fingerscrossedtoeliminateFWs:

mervynP

366 posts

282 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
Ahhh, CB radio, the internet of its time. I coudn't find anything, even on some of the slightly more dubious maxpowery sites about this, so I guess CB is the way it has spread.

Like the magnet idea, but we want something more visible, more obviously denoting stupidity.

I hear Tinsel around the windscreen make a good lidar diffuser......

deltaf

1,384 posts

278 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
What about a black painted out windscreen so SPECS cant identify the driver? nyuk nyuk nyuk....

mel

Original Poster:

10,168 posts

296 months

Tuesday 17th December 2002
quotequote all
Right it's official and I'll tell you lot as long as you all promise to keep stum and not let the feds find out. I drove through a police laser speed trap today and didn't get pulled afterwards, that is because the DartTag I've got on my windscreen interferes with the frequency of the laser and gives a reading to the officer of £18.00 credit and not 130mph as it should have been. Lets see if Dart Tag sales now go through the roof

wedgie

444 posts

284 months

Tuesday 17th December 2002
quotequote all
Here's an idea - how about we tell em that wrapping clingfilm around your numberplate distorts the image that the camera picks up - all to do with the refractive index of PVC bending the laser in different directions. But it has to be high-PVC content nclingfilm - the 'fatty food safe' version won't work.
Or we could tell em to put a sheet of foil on the front of the dash

wedgie

444 posts

284 months

Tuesday 17th December 2002
quotequote all

wedg1e said: Years ago, in my ham radio days, I started a rumour on the CB channels that old, used coaxial cable worked better than the new stuff because it acquired an 'RF coating' that helped the signals travel up the cable better.


I did a similar thing many years ago - persuaded a ship's radio operator he'd get better radar transmission if he painted the scanner

deltaf

1,384 posts

278 months

Tuesday 17th December 2002
quotequote all
Looks like sales of the NEW Ronco(tm) Safety Scanner are about to hit the ceiling....

CarZee

13,382 posts

288 months

Tuesday 17th December 2002
quotequote all

wedgie said:

wedg1e said:

ooohh.. headfk!

williamball

4,638 posts

303 months

Tuesday 17th December 2002
quotequote all
...another irritating numptie move.

Have you noticed some folks in petrol stations lifting up and shaking the hose to make sure every last drop gets into the tank. Problem is the 'tap' is at the end of the hose, so once you've shut it off, messing about with the hose just make you look a dork.

WB

>> Edited by williamball on Tuesday 17th December 18:56