I Blinking HATE Christmas Parties
I Blinking HATE Christmas Parties
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Discussion

SBD

Original Poster:

462 posts

298 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
I have the thrilling prospect of spending 4 sober hours tonight at our Christmas party. This in itself is not a bad thing, aside from the sober bit, but what is bad is having to put up with being the target of "Goose the Boss" as played by the office fluff. Now you may think this is being churlish but when someone that you have privately spent the past 364 days quietly dribbling over is fondling your bum and in no uncertain terms offering a solo performance on your pink oboe it is most frustrating
So what I'm after is tips on how to avoid the temptation to poke the payrole. Sending Mungo in my place is not an option as the maternity leave from the resulting babyboom would cripple my company

Podie

46,649 posts

302 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
Just say you'll settle for a lap dance...

SGirl

7,924 posts

288 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
Fire all the cute girlies and employ mingers instead!

Alternatively, drink so much that no-one will come near you and even if they wanted to "get friendly", you couldn't.

SBD

Original Poster:

462 posts

298 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
That would indeed be a solution SGirl but out of my hands as my managers employ their own staff. Believe me it is not difficult to work out who the dirty old men amongst them are.
Taking the wife would be another solution but she refuses to go on the basis that it is the most boring experience she could imagine.

Podie

46,649 posts

302 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all

SGirl said: Fire all the cute girlies and employ mingers instead!

Alternatively, drink so much that no-one will come near you and even if they wanted to "get friendly", you couldn't.


SBD - there you go... a female perspective. Personally, I'd still go with my lap dance idea... look, but don't touch!

Prince_Charming

2,646 posts

296 months

Friday 13th December 2002
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Just go for it SBD - I mean, what's the worse that could happen? You lose your friends, company, cars and house and end up living on the streets... that's called an experience in my book!

flasher

9,310 posts

311 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
Got the same thing tonight, and I'm dreading spending the evening with several people I really don't like... How do I manage to keep my thoughts to myself when I've had a few beers?

It's going to be very tempting to tell certain people that they are indeed two faced shitbags who I don't actually wish a "happy christmas" to at all...

I'm just going to try and sit with the people I DO like and avoid the brown nosing, back stabbing, empire building muppets....one of whom thinks he runs the office when he is the most junior and lowest paid person in here... Keeps reminding everyone that he has a degree when in fact he has a first class honours degree in being a creeping, sycophantic twat.

Happy Christmas everyone

Prince_Charming

2,646 posts

296 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
So is Bet Lynch going along tonight Flasher? You can tell her how you really feel....

SBD

Original Poster:

462 posts

298 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
A lap dance from this particular young lady is likely to result in a pair of ruined underpants Podie and I'm too tight for that (phnar phnar).

Is that a personal experience Prince?

Podie

46,649 posts

302 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all

SBD said: A lap dance from this particular young lady is likely to result in a pair of ruined underpants Podie and I'm too tight for that (phnar phnar).


I'd suggest that was a small price to pay. Besides... it's nearly Christmas... you're bound to get pants and socks...

SBD

Original Poster:

462 posts

298 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all


You cannot believe how tempting it would be!

You know I do hope my wife isn't reading this

Prince_Charming

2,646 posts

296 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
Ahhhh, the abuse of power - you can't beat it!

Podie

46,649 posts

302 months

Friday 13th December 2002
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SBD said:

You cannot believe how tempting it would be!

You know I do hope my wife isn't reading this


"honest Mrs SBD... she just started taking her clothes off... it was disgraceful , no love, I wasn't turned on in the slightest!"

Best thing to do is to play various members of staff against each other... so find out who she fancies, and get her to flirt with them... that way you get a good laugh, without the compromising nature of the scenario!

CarZee

13,382 posts

294 months

Friday 13th December 2002
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Prince_Charming said: you can't beat it!
That'll be the problem during his lapdance

Oh wait - you'll be getting socks for xmas too

flasher

9,310 posts

311 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all

Prince_Charming said: So is Bet Lynch going along tonight Flasher? You can tell her how you really feel....


Nah, unfortunatley Bet isn't going...

But she has a top outfit on today

Pigtails, Leather mini skirt, knee high black boots and a really low cut top...

Good job she aint going!!!

Podie

46,649 posts

302 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all

flasher said:

Prince_Charming said: So is Bet Lynch going along tonight Flasher? You can tell her how you really feel....


Nah, unfortunatley Bet isn't going...

But she has a top outfit on today

Pigtails, Leather mini skirt, knee high black boots and a really low cut top...

Good job she aint going!!!


Jeez Flasher! Some of us have just had brekkie mate.., feel a bit now...

SBD

Original Poster:

462 posts

298 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all
BOING!!!!!

Fancy swapping parties Flash?

Carzee if you mean what I think you mean then you are a vile, disgusting, depraved pervert. But I like your style.

SGirl

7,924 posts

288 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all

flasher said: Nah, unfortunatley Bet isn't going...

But she has a top outfit on today

Pigtails, Leather mini skirt, knee high black boots and a really low cut top...

Good job she aint going!!!

Aw. So no romance of the century, then!

But wearing a leather mini to work? Is she after a promotion or something?!

Prince_Charming

2,646 posts

296 months

Friday 13th December 2002
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SGirl said:


But wearing a leather mini to work? Is she after a promotion or something?!


Something will be going up by the sound of it....

Podie

46,649 posts

302 months

Friday 13th December 2002
quotequote all

Prince_Charming said:
Something will be going up by the sound of it....


Yeah, your lunch...