Company Christmas party last night..
Discussion
Should be outlawed! 
Went to a pub the other night only to discover that a local company was having their "firms do". Me and my mate quietly observed the merry party-goers whilst trying to guess what role they had at the company...
We spotted the MD immediately (the guy with everyone sucking up to him).
The receptionist constantly talking, running her fingers through her hair and dabbing at her OTT make-up. 
The slightly burnt-out sales manager with his budding young salesman in tow who was entertaining everyone to utter bullshit stories. 
The dowdy old girl with the brown tweed suit...in charge of the accounts department. 
The tall thin guy with half-moon glasses in a dark blue pin stripe suit who was watching the bar tab just had to be the finance director! 
The glamorous grandma with a posh accent and immaculate suit had to be the MD's PA. 
The girls from the canteen were there in clothes too small for them (lovely!) all wearing santa hats and tinsel! 
All stereotypes but also great entertainment...the beer was pretty good too!
Went to a pub the other night only to discover that a local company was having their "firms do". Me and my mate quietly observed the merry party-goers whilst trying to guess what role they had at the company...
We spotted the MD immediately (the guy with everyone sucking up to him).
The receptionist constantly talking, running her fingers through her hair and dabbing at her OTT make-up. The slightly burnt-out sales manager with his budding young salesman in tow who was entertaining everyone to utter bullshit stories. The dowdy old girl with the brown tweed suit...in charge of the accounts department. The tall thin guy with half-moon glasses in a dark blue pin stripe suit who was watching the bar tab just had to be the finance director! The glamorous grandma with a posh accent and immaculate suit had to be the MD's PA. The girls from the canteen were there in clothes too small for them (lovely!) all wearing santa hats and tinsel! All stereotypes but also great entertainment...the beer was pretty good too!
Now Podie, that's what I call class! 
My office party this year is going to consist of me down the pub one lunchtime, having a beer and trying not to look like Billy No Mates. Might take a paper hat along just to get into the Christmas spirit. Might even splash out on a packet of crisps if my accountant will let me!
My office party this year is going to consist of me down the pub one lunchtime, having a beer and trying not to look like Billy No Mates. Might take a paper hat along just to get into the Christmas spirit. Might even splash out on a packet of crisps if my accountant will let me!
SGirl said: Now Podie, that's what I call class!
My office party this year is going to consist of me down the pub one lunchtime, having a beer and trying not to look like Billy No Mates. Might take a paper hat along just to get into the Christmas spirit. Might even splash out on a packet of crisps if my accountant will let me!
We all got a severe b*ll*ck*ng from head office... bringing the company into disrepute etc etc.. EVERYONE who went got a black mark against their name. Manager left shortly afterwards... still got a copy of the paper on my wall at home!
Crisps! Crisps! You can afford crisps... you lucky, lucky...
EDIT - where are you based? Surely SOMEONE could take the lady for a pint and some lunch?
>> Edited by Podie on Wednesday 18th December 11:54
Used to work for a company where every Christmas party used to end up as a fight between the valeters and the workshop technicians.
First it was the banqueting rooms in Windsor - they were trashed and we were banned. Then it was the top of a riverboat in Maidenhead, 50 blokes all rushing to one side of the boat and it almost capsized - banned. Then a hotel in Oxford, fight spilled out comedy western style into the foyer - banned and finally at a rugby club in Banbury - banned.
Highly entertaining, but a right pain in the arse for the social commitee!
Matt.
First it was the banqueting rooms in Windsor - they were trashed and we were banned. Then it was the top of a riverboat in Maidenhead, 50 blokes all rushing to one side of the boat and it almost capsized - banned. Then a hotel in Oxford, fight spilled out comedy western style into the foyer - banned and finally at a rugby club in Banbury - banned.
Highly entertaining, but a right pain in the arse for the social commitee!
Matt.
Plotloss, that's cute! How come I never get invited to parties like these?!
Spoilsports. I thought all publicity was good publicity! You'd think they'd give you a bonus for getting the company name in the papers, wouldn't you!
I was going to try to put them through the books for tax purposes...
Well, if anyone is in the Uxbridge area around Friday lunchtime and fancies meeting up for lunch, assuming I'm not insane/dead from overwork by then they're welcome to join me!
Podie said:
We all got a severe b*ll*ck*ng from head office... bringing the company into disrepute etc etc.. EVERYONE who went got a black mark against their name. Manager left shortly afterwards... still got a copy of the paper on my wall at home!
Spoilsports. I thought all publicity was good publicity! You'd think they'd give you a bonus for getting the company name in the papers, wouldn't you!
Crisps! Crisps! You can afford crisps... you lucky, lucky...
I was going to try to put them through the books for tax purposes...
EDIT - where are you based? Surely SOMEONE could take the lady for a pint and some lunch?
Well, if anyone is in the Uxbridge area around Friday lunchtime and fancies meeting up for lunch, assuming I'm not insane/dead from overwork by then they're welcome to join me!
CarZee said: SGirl.. I too am Billy-No-Teammates..
I nominated VW last Saturday as my company xmas party, but I'm sure a few of us loners could get together for a spot of lunch in the next few days..
JeremyC is another local who is too anti-social to work in a team
What sayeth ye?
Sounds good to me! Where and when? It'll have to be Friday for me I'm afraid (which narrows it all down a bit, I know...), but otherwise I can do any time after Boxing Day.
Yay! A party!!
SGirl said:
Crisps! Crisps! You can afford crisps... you lucky, lucky...
I was going to try to put them through the books for tax purposes...
EDIT - where are you based? Surely SOMEONE could take the lady for a pint and some lunch?
Well, if anyone is in the Uxbridge area around Friday lunchtime and fancies meeting up for lunch, assuming I'm not insane/dead from overwork by then they're welcome to join me!
I think I'd fancy that being nearish and holding the roles of both Employer and Employee. Plus it would be my first PH meet! (I've got over 100 posts now so I feel vaguely ready
)Friday is good for me. Uxbridge way is fine, if you can suggest a venue.
SGirl said: Sounds good to me! Where and when? It'll have to be Friday for me I'm afraid (which narrows it all down a bit, I know...), but otherwise I can do any time after Boxing Day.
Yay! A party!!
Alternatively, we can use the traditional 'PHers that Lunch' location of The Magpie in Sunbury which I know is convenient for CarZee and me.
Well, SGirl and Carzee, you are the lucky ones. Had our so called "Christmas Party" on Friday and it was a more like a bloody Christmas Wake...
Three hours of sitting in a pub then a restaurant with several people I despise. Not what I'd call fun. I left early, but those who stayed had to witness several people falling out with each other and a near punch up between two of the blokes that work in here.
Next year you can stuff it. I'd rather have my nuts squeezed between a mangle very slowly than participate in that again....
Christmas? bollocks to it.
Three hours of sitting in a pub then a restaurant with several people I despise. Not what I'd call fun. I left early, but those who stayed had to witness several people falling out with each other and a near punch up between two of the blokes that work in here.
Next year you can stuff it. I'd rather have my nuts squeezed between a mangle very slowly than participate in that again....
Christmas? bollocks to it.
What about us 'Billy no-jobs'? We are unfairly discriminated against, and we should be allowed to gate-crash anyone's party if they look like they are having fun! (Reminds me of how one of my last companies managed to get banned from Newbury race course, involving a guy in a kilt, a ball gown, and a broken door in the ladies. The resultant "Where you involved" email got 50 acknowledgements from people who were there at the time!) 
I have my current employers Christmas party this evening at some race track or other somewhere near London.
Theres going to be a few hundred there so there is potential for entertainment but unfortunately I fear it will be dull.
The one thing I cant correlate though is that they are prepared to spend a fortune on a free bar for 300 or so people but we are not getting a christmas bonus - surely it would have been better to cancel the party not the bonus?
Matt.
Theres going to be a few hundred there so there is potential for entertainment but unfortunately I fear it will be dull.
The one thing I cant correlate though is that they are prepared to spend a fortune on a free bar for 300 or so people but we are not getting a christmas bonus - surely it would have been better to cancel the party not the bonus?
Matt.
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