OT/ Irrelevant post

[p*ting]

Opinions???

Ok, this is an almost Mungo post, except that I'm not about to say I love you all.

Basically I'm drunk and want a few opinions.



I have a mate. He's one of those rare people with 'charisma'. Basically everyone (inc me) thinks he's funny and the girls love him. Usually this is great, but sadly we've wound up in a sticky situation.

He's got a girl on the go, one of at least three.

Difference is this girl is pretty smart, and heading for uni. He will quite happily use her up and spit her out, leaving her broken and directionless (it's happened before - often).

I'm not one of those people who can lock horns with this type of person regularly but I have given him a run for his money in the past - ie I can take the odd girl off him.

I want to stop him wrecking this girl like he does with most of his fodder, and I know she kinda likes me so its an option.

He's already really hurt her tonite, by bringing her out into town, then 'going with' a couple of other girls. She found out about this, but instead of getting angry she spent the rest of the evening sucking up to him trying to ensure he doesn't do it again.

This is perfectly normal, and a complete waste of time, as he's forever doing it. How do I explain to her that she's going nowhere - without it seeming like I'm just trying to take her from him for myself?

Any help / opinions welcome.



Sorry this isn't a car topic, or ever related, but I've really got nowhere else to turn as everyone I know thinks this guy is the mutt's nuts.

Thanks,

Al.

[johnelliott]

Best thing to do with people like this, both the male and female parties, is to stay well away from them and let them get on with running/ruining their own and other peoples lives. They don't want your help or interference and the emotional energy you expend on them will bounce back at you in a very negative way.

John

[sharjah]

When your friend is off dancing/chatting with another doll have a word with the 'nice' girl. Ask her to be particularly kind and understanding towards your friend as he has suffered terribly for the last 18 months after the death of his long term girlfriend. Tell her that he needs a lot of TLC ...... and that he's a wonderful guy. When she asks what happened to the long term girlfriend ...... just mumble something about AIDS and that you really don't want to discuss it further. You are almost certainly guaranteed the result you are seeking.

But seriously, John Elliott is 100% correct in what he advises .... if you wish to keep both these people as friends then keep your nose out .... however well intentioned it never, or rarely, works.

[SGirl]

Ok, this is an almost Mungo post, except that I'm not about to say I love you all.

Be like that then.

Hmmm.... methinks you like this girl more than you're admitting, otherwise why get involved? I'd agree with the majority vote so far - i.e. keep well out of it and stand by to help her pick up the pieces when it all goes pear-shaped. Or should that be "if" - she might turn out to be the love of his life?? Well, you never know.

But if you like her, that's a bit more complicated. You could just have a quiet word and tell her he doesn't treat his girlfriends very well. You don't have to imply you fancy her, just state the facts. She's obviously reasonably intelligent, and if she's got any sense she'll appreciate you speaking up before she gets too involved with him.

Unless she's already slept with him. In which case it's a completely different ballgame. Sorry - no pun intended!!!

Edited to add: A Cavalier!!! Go P*Ting!! I loved my old green Cav to bits - those "oh, locked up the fronts again" moments were life-enhancing...

>> Edited by SGirl on Sunday 29th December 11:26

[Tyke]

I can tell I have considerably more years than you under my belt my guess is you around 18. I would not normally reply to such a banal post. However seeing as it is xmas and all that I will offer the benefit of my knowledge. You are finding out at the moment that good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately that experience comes from bad judgement.

The situation as I see it is this guy who gets all the birds and who everyone thinks is the dogs, is more than likely a using, vapid, egotistical tw@t who everyone will in time see through and dump faster than a fibrogel induced turd. You obviously have spotted his shortcomings before your mates.

As goes the bird, who the **** are you trying to kid. You obviously would crawl over broken glass through a crocodile infested swamp to get her. My advice is go for it. Have no consideration for your mate, he would have none for you. Just do be prepared to be called the villain of the piece. He will not be happy that someone has had the temerity to mess with one of his. You will however find out very quickly who your real mates are, and my final piece of advice is embrace them (in a completely none gay manner of course).


Hope this helps. Let me know how you get on.

[Psychobert]

Tough one this, and one of those ones that doesn't always get any easier with a few years experience..

Couple of thoughts to throw into the pot..

Firstly, assuming your mate is a mate, but a bit of a jerk with ladies and therefore not the sort of chap you would be happy with your sister dating, I'd say go for it with the girl. Sure, you might damage your friendship with your mate, but I'm guessing not fatally. He'll be pissed off, but you've both been in this situation before and you're still mates, so I'm guessing you'll be ok.. If she's truly a friend, she can't help but be flattered that you like her, even if she's doesn't like you *that* way.

Second thing is, as SGirl said, I reckon you really like her.. But having said that, do you really want to go out with a girl that likes being treated the way she is allowing herself to be treated? If she likes to date jerks, how long would you guys last?

No easy answers to these things, but the adage about nice guys don't get laid is wrong; they do all the time, just they don't shout about it the way the jerks do..

Good luck, hope it works out..

:edited to add so if I believe that about the nice guys, how does that explain my current situation? :

[SGirl]

Psychobert said: But having said that, do you really want to go out with a girl that likes being treated the way she is allowing herself to be treated? If she likes to date jerks, how long would you guys last?

But as P*Ting said, this mate of his has charisma. She may not have realised until it was too late for her to back off.

No easy answers to these things, but the adage about nice guys don't get laid is wrong; they do all the time, just they don't shout about it the way the jerks do..

Au contraire! Nice blokes do too. So they tell me anyway!!

[daydreamer]

Psychobert said:Second thing is, as SGirl said, I reckon you really like her.. But having said that, do you really want to go out with a girl that likes being treated the way she is allowing herself to be treated? If she likes to date jerks, how long would you guys last?

Too true this, it is hard for the nice guys to relate to this I'm sure , but there are girls out there that initially look like your future wife, but actually like being treated really badly - or certainly go for guys that the know will do this. A female friend of mine is always in tears about how the last guy that she met on a Saturday night down the pub hasn't called her since they . She always knows that it is going to happen, but the pattern just keeps repeating.

It's a real shame, but the nice guys she meets simply don't last as she really gets off on guys that treat her like sh1t.

If your friend's latest conquest really doesn't know what she is getting herself into, then you could win a fair few brownie points by being the b@stard that puts her straight. Didn't get the impression from the initial post that this was the case however .

[johnelliott]

Daydreamer is absolutley right. I think many girls in the age range I presume we are talking about have an inclination towards 'love them and leave them' types of guys. In fact, the one way to put off a girl like this is to show that you care about them. I'm not generalising here, I'm not talking about every girl, just quite a few of them. I used to work in a pub much frequented by people in this age range, and I saw it happening all the time

John

[p*ting]

Wow! My drunken ramblings have evolved into a veritable feast of knowledge about the human condition!


The thing with this situation is this; I only just met the girl, and she does seem nice (amplified by the beer of course!).

However; a bit of digging today reveals this interesting little gem.

She has a long-term boyfriend.

So maybe she's not quite as sweet and innocent as first appeared! I think maybe I should be warning my mate about her?

I reckon the best bet is to take the advice so many of you have offered and go stick my nose some place else...

Cheers,

P*Ting.



[aside]

SGirl, cavaliers - gotta love em.

I had one of those life-defining moments tonight as I thundered (well the vauxhall equivalent ) down a favorite country lane.

There's one dip where water always accumulates so I was expecting a puddle. What I actually found was best described as a lake...

You can guess the rest. Love it.

[/aside]

[p*ting]

SGirl said :

P*Ting said : Ok, this is an almost Mungo post, except that I'm not about to say I love you all.

Be like that then.

This was purely a trademark issue. I can't steal Mungo's 'brand identity'!

Tell you what, I'll do it now I'm sober -

I luuuuuuurve ewe alllllllllll....

:waitsformungosretaliation:


Edited coz I fell asleep whilst typing.

>> Edited by p*ting on Monday 30th December 00:54

[SGirl]

p*ting said: [aside]

SGirl, cavaliers - gotta love em.

I had one of those life-defining moments tonight as I thundered (well the vauxhall equivalent ) down a favorite country lane.

There's one dip where water always accumulates so I was expecting a puddle. What I actually found was best described as a lake...

You can guess the rest. Love it.

[/aside]

Great, aren't they! They teach you how to get out of those "oooo that tree is approaching awfully quickly and I have zero control of the front end" moments with panache. I loved my mk 2. Until the day I wiped out its front suspension and 3 out of 4 wheels.

[SGirl]

p*ting said: This was purely a trademark issue. I can't steal Mungo's 'brand identity'!

Mungo loves everybody, he won't mind!! As long as you don't "borrow" his real trademark - so many xxxxx on screen that you have to scroll across to read the messages.

[Tyke]

p*ting said:
The thing with this situation is this; I only just met the girl, and she does seem nice (amplified by the beer of course!).

However; a bit of digging today reveals this interesting little gem.

She has a long-term boyfriend.

So maybe she's not quite as sweet and innocent as first appeared! I think maybe I should be warning my mate about her?


[/aside]

Or you could let your 'mate' hurtle headlong and make a prize **** out of himself. He sounds a real tosser.

As for the bird, Hmmmm a sexual predator eh. What you going to do there then. No undying love, just a rumbling in the kecks and a grope in the cavalier. Sounds alright to me.

Been a long time since I've been there, in my day it was in the back of a Mk2 RS2000.



>> Edited by Tyke on Monday 30th December 12:09

[nubbin]

Isn't this sort of thing better discussed in the erudite columns of "Sweet Sixteen" magazine, or some other banal trash comic?

Jeez, there's a whiff of teenage angst around the place today...

[P*Ting]

Update;

She's definately messing him around, shame he's a good mate or I'd be hving a right roll around on floor laughing moment.

Anyway, points about teenage lonely heart column accepted, so I'll leave it at that.

Later.

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Doh! - involuntary Mungoism.