Comedy of errors
Discussion
Thought I'd share this with you all...
After work yesterday, I planned going to the supermarket. Approaching the car park, I found myself behind a clapped-out old Maestro. He turned into the supermarket car park without indicating. I followed, thinking fair enough anyone can forget or make a mistake or whatever. Proceeded to follow Maestro man round the one way car park. I decide to hang back just a few more yards than normal, just in case. He passes a parking space but overshoots it by a good few meters. I think, I'll have that one. Suddenly, he brakes. I think, oh oh he's gonna reverse into the space (even though he'd gone a fair few metres what was needed for the manoevre). I hang fire, waiting. Moments pass. I flash, letting him know I'm waiting and that it was safe for him to proceed. Still nothing. I think, fair enough, I'll have the space after all. I drive in forwards. There are no cars either side of me. I lock Lottie up, arm the alarm and begin walking. Maestro man then decides to start reversing, but his approach angle looks like he's heading for my space. But he's looking through his rear window, he can see everything surely? I watched aghast as he continued towards my car. Finally, I lunged to his boot and slapped it a couple of times. He stopped, no lie, no more than 2 feet from my car. He jumped out of his car and shouted "What the bl00dy hell are you doing?" I said nothing, beckoned him to the back of his car, and showed him the location of our vehicles. He furrowed, then realisation hit, and he said "Woah, that could have been nasty!". "For your insurance it would have been," I replied.
Later, shopping done, I proceed to the cashiers. All have queues, apart from No.4. I'm pushing my trolley with due care attention towards No.4 till when fcuking Maestro man clatters into me from the right. No brakes, no indication, nothing. Hell, his trolley probably had better handling than his Maestro! He smirks at me, in the way that only Clampits can smirk, and smiled, "These things usually happen in threes." I was getting angry at this point, so I said "Once is enough for me."
I paid, got in the car and drove home. Once there, I cuddled Mrs Spook and thought there are worse things happening in the world, but crikey, no wonder wars start!
After work yesterday, I planned going to the supermarket. Approaching the car park, I found myself behind a clapped-out old Maestro. He turned into the supermarket car park without indicating. I followed, thinking fair enough anyone can forget or make a mistake or whatever. Proceeded to follow Maestro man round the one way car park. I decide to hang back just a few more yards than normal, just in case. He passes a parking space but overshoots it by a good few meters. I think, I'll have that one. Suddenly, he brakes. I think, oh oh he's gonna reverse into the space (even though he'd gone a fair few metres what was needed for the manoevre). I hang fire, waiting. Moments pass. I flash, letting him know I'm waiting and that it was safe for him to proceed. Still nothing. I think, fair enough, I'll have the space after all. I drive in forwards. There are no cars either side of me. I lock Lottie up, arm the alarm and begin walking. Maestro man then decides to start reversing, but his approach angle looks like he's heading for my space. But he's looking through his rear window, he can see everything surely? I watched aghast as he continued towards my car. Finally, I lunged to his boot and slapped it a couple of times. He stopped, no lie, no more than 2 feet from my car. He jumped out of his car and shouted "What the bl00dy hell are you doing?" I said nothing, beckoned him to the back of his car, and showed him the location of our vehicles. He furrowed, then realisation hit, and he said "Woah, that could have been nasty!". "For your insurance it would have been," I replied.
Later, shopping done, I proceed to the cashiers. All have queues, apart from No.4. I'm pushing my trolley with due care attention towards No.4 till when fcuking Maestro man clatters into me from the right. No brakes, no indication, nothing. Hell, his trolley probably had better handling than his Maestro! He smirks at me, in the way that only Clampits can smirk, and smiled, "These things usually happen in threes." I was getting angry at this point, so I said "Once is enough for me."
I paid, got in the car and drove home. Once there, I cuddled Mrs Spook and thought there are worse things happening in the world, but crikey, no wonder wars start!
NUMPTY ALERT! Don't you just love people like this - don't they brighten up your day? What I don't understand (and there is probably a Something's Law name for this) is, why, when you have come across a numpty - are they so difficult to shake off. It's like they have a missile lock on you. For the next half hour wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you come across them time and again. Weird isn't it?
Another example that has happened several times to me is when you are catching a plane. There is always someone who stands out as being a little 'different' mouching around the airport being a numpty. An hour later you take your seat on the plane and sit patiently for take off. And then.......you see them........walking down the aisle of your plane.....looking anxiously at the seat numbers on the overhead rack. You've guessed it - they take their seat which just happens to be next you! Why oh why does this happen - there must be a scientific explanation?
>> Edited by TUS 373 on Thursday 23 January 09:23
It's known as the Mong Magnet Effect. Happens to most people at some stage. It's usually transient except where it's hereditary..
TUS 373 said: You've guessed it - they take their seat which just happens to be next you! Why oh why does this happen - there must be a scientific explanation?
I prescribe an offensive T-Shirt and a walkman with closed headphones..
lpgsucks said:
I lock Lottie up..
I can think of a few names I would call a Ford Ka!
The Elise is Lottie, the Ford Ka is sh1tbag. I go shopping in Lottie coz it doesn't take long to buy enough stuff to fill the passenger side up!
Back on topic... what really annoys me though, and undoubtedly other people, is that generally I'm courteous, tolerant, law-abiding etc., and all I expect in return is the same treatment. When this doesn't happen, you think sod it. Example: home insurance - how many have claimed or know someone else who's claimed fraudulently. People who pay every month and never claim get peed off and think if everyone else does it, why can't I. On the road especially, I let people out, I drive at safe distances (usually) I try not to do anything that will adversely affect other drivers. When Mr and Mrs Numpty start tailgating, using foglights unnecessarily, generally titting about in their un-highway-code-like manner, it winds people up until they feel THEY have to start driving similarly.
It's all Vanessa Feltz's fault. There, I said it.
>> Edited by Spooky on Thursday 23 January 12:54
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