Un-necessary braking rant

[Hammer67]

I`ve just followed some fking stupid old bat who slammed on her anchors every ten fking yards.fk me with a fish fork what the fk are you doing you old ?

Pissing about at 30 mph in a 40 and come within 3 miles of a bend not worthy of the name and bosh down to about 15 mph. A truck came the other way and fk me if you didn`t actually stop. And what the fk did you think that bus was? a rampaging herd of elephant? I`m reasonably sure you shat yourself.

FFS you dozy bint your car is about 5 feet wide, not 15 and it can go round fking corners at more than 30 mph. It doesn`t need an exclusion zone it ain`t the fking Falkland Islands.

Your fking brakes must last about 2 fking weeks and you might as well wire the fking brake lights to come on with the fking ignition.

fk fk fkity fk, and breathe. Thats better

[V8mate]

2/10.

You'll be an old lady one day too.

[Puggit]

£10 says she was drunk

[Hyperion]

Buy a motorcycle - easily overtake said obstacle.

[john_p]

Hyperion said:

Buy a motorcycle - easily get said obstacle to pull out in front of you at a junction.

EFA

[Jasandjules]

Ah, sounds like a normal day in Suffolk to me.

[GTIR]

6/10
just for the fact the op has directed this rant directly at old cow, like she is reading it and is a member of PH!



Mental

[Cas_P]

1/10 trying too hard :P

[Jasandjules]

Did you get the plate? A report of "Better Driving Please" would be a treat?

[Hammer67]

Jasandjules said:

Did you get the plate? A report of "Better Driving Please" would be a treat?

Nope didn`t get the plate, was too busy getting the raving arse.

[chr15b]

i watched an older woman attempt to reverse park in tescos the other day - very slowly.

huge queue of traffic waiting to get past followed, eventually managed to pull out of my space, shouted "give up, seriously, get the bus" mrs thinks i was cruel

[Morningside]

^^^ Tesco, the only place where a Micra can be parked diagonally within a parking space.

Jasandjules said:

Ah, sounds like a normal day in Suffolk to me.

So true. 35 in the country braking on every corner and then accelerating to 40 though the town.

Edited by Morningside on Tuesday 28th July 22:09

[robinhood21]

chr15b said:

i watched an older woman attempt to reverse park in tescos the other day - very slowly.

huge queue of traffic waiting to get past followed, eventually managed to pull out of my space, shouted "give up, seriously, get the bus" mrs thinks i was cruel

Cruel yet fair!

[Sgt Bilko]

2/10. Although topical and heart felt, needs more variety of swear words.

[davidjpowell]

might have been my mother in-law

hth

[Jem Thompson]

you Fk count was 16, far too high. You called her an old :censoered:, but I was not exactly sure what it meant so was not included in the fk count. More variety needed to induce laughter, i'm sorry.

[Hammer67]

Jem Thompson said:

you Fk count was 16, far too high. You called her an old :censoered:, but I was not exactly sure what it meant so was not included in the fk count. More variety needed to induce laughter, i'm sorry.

18 actually you missed out the FFS. And to clarify the misunderstanding C U Next Tuesday. :

[Jem Thompson]

Hammer67 said:

Jem Thompson said:

you Fk count was 16, far too high. You called her an old :censoered:, but I was not exactly sure what it meant so was not included in the fk count. More variety needed to induce laughter, i'm sorry.

18 actually you missed out the FFS. And to clarify the misunderstanding C U Next Tuesday. :

C U Next Tuesday. Brilliant.

It could also meant we, bh, fk, ae etc, so was not entirely sure.

[Hammer67]

Jem Thompson said:

Hammer67 said:

Jem Thompson said:

you Fk count was 16, far too high. You called her an old :censoered:, but I was not exactly sure what it meant so was not included in the fk count. More variety needed to induce laughter, i'm sorry.

18 actually you missed out the FFS. And to clarify the misunderstanding C U Next Tuesday. :

C U Next Tuesday. Brilliant.

It could also meant we, bh, fk, ae etc, so was not entirely sure.

Glad we got that straightened out.

[Shaolin]

Was doing ok until the last sentence when it was repeated swear words without proper grammatical structure. Now if it had been something like fk, the fking fkers fked, it would have got 9/10 for admirable syntax. (I'm not totally sure what syntax means - it sounds good though).