What's the biggest load of crap a garage has ever told you?
What's the biggest load of crap a garage has ever told you?
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Discussion

Smirnoffmark

Original Poster:

1,798 posts

257 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Just spent ages going to a garage to view and hopefully pick up a 'mint', 'best one out there', 'ready to drive away' M3 with 'only 62,000' on the clock and found a dog with ripped leather and 65,500...

Do these jokers just think you won't notice??

What's the worse you've heard? Shall we name and shame.

Somnophore

1,364 posts

207 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Had one guy quote me a 0-60 time of 8 seconds on a Mk5 Zetec S

had another tell me a golf V5 had all the options, pretty much only thing it dis have was electric windows and cd player, cloth seats, no heated windows, no cruise control sat nav or anything , bit of a joke really lol.

One guy also suggested saxos have a bad press and they aren't all that bad in a crash lol

AREA

497 posts

256 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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That the problems with my car (that they accepted were real but could not resolve) were down to the car being possessed!

anonymous-user

85 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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I was told a focus had a full ford service history. I took it for a test drive, checked the book when I got back only to find a 3 stamps for 70k all from independant garages.

Rollcage

11,345 posts

223 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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A Nissan salesman once tried to assure me that a Sunny ZX would "Do 140mph, cos thats what the speedo goes up to"!

And no, I didnt go to look at that particular model - the visit was to view a 205GTI 1.9 that they were advertising, but had sold earlier.

Herman Toothrot

6,702 posts

229 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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An Audi dealership tried to tell my father that the cam belt was a big job on his 1.8 A3 Quattro due to the 5 cylinder engine not leaving any room to do the work.

havoc

33,504 posts

266 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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A MINI salesman tried to tell me and the wife that the supercharger on the R53 MCS "makes it just like a Touring Car". rolleyes Even if he was talking about the whine he's still wide of the mark...

He came out with a fair bit more sh't than that, but that's the one that sticks in my mind.

Cock Womble

29,908 posts

261 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Many, many years ago the (first) wife and I needed a car. Any car. Cheap as poss.

We went to a local Arthur Daley and ended up looking at, of all things, a Proton (it was cheap, OK?)

Salesman gave us the "low mileage, one careful owner" spiel.

I had a bit of a look round the car and noticed:

The screw holes in the back bumper (where the taxi licence plate had been).

The screw holes in the dash (where the holder for the radio handset had been).

The shiny pedal-rubbers.

The fact that the digits on the odometer didn't quite line up.


Me: "This 'one careful owner'?"

Salesman: "Yeah?"

Me: "It wasn't Oz Cabs, was it?"

Salesman: "What?"

Me: "We'll go away and think about it."


motco

17,666 posts

277 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Service manager at a branch of Henly's insisted, with contempt in his voice, that my one year old (1980) Leyland Princess had an automatic transmission made by Automotive Products. It was, of course, Borg Warner. What chance he would know how to remedy its problems if he didn't even know which company made it?

Animal

5,670 posts

299 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Nissan main dealer told me that the 350Z I was looking at was limited to 150mph but, like the new GT-R, the car knew when it was on a race track and removed the limiter.

richardxjr

7,561 posts

241 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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To me about the wife's car, after already spending nearly a grand on exhaust, 4 tyres, full service: 'You need new disks and pads all round. Urgently' 3 years and 20,000 miles ago.

And he was a mate.

lance1a

1,337 posts

229 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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I bought an E30 325Ise from a local BMW 'specialist' on behalf of a customer a few years ago. Anyway, it was due for an mot so she took it back to the guy (who obviously forgot who she was) for the mot and he said that the car was a piece of crap and wasn't safe to be on the road. He also ' replaced the window regulator as it was shot' (it was a faulty switch) and told her the head had to come off to replace the exhaust manifold gasket.
She naturally was gutted and looked to me (also being a BMW specialist)as the responsible party for buying a rubbish car. I went back to the guy and asked him why then had he sold us the car a few months previously for well over book? He realised who I was and started to try to talk his way out of it. I took the car to another MOT station where it flew through and I replaced the window switch. I actually bought the car from my customer a year later and it's still a very nice car today. The guy is a known con man.

Snoggledog

9,280 posts

248 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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The best I had was one from MINI who claimed that the binding brakes were caused by the after market radio I'd had fitted. silly

Paul Drawmer

5,165 posts

298 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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1994 BMW 325i. First service after warranty expired at 27,000 miles I was told it needed anew steering rack by the BMW dealer. When I sold the car at 135,000 miles it still had the original rack and had passed several MOTs.

Bloody good car - are you on here Stockhatch?

anonymous-user

85 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Yes sir, french cars are very good, they dont rattle anymore, they have solved that problem. Like a tit, i believed him too

Superhoop

4,919 posts

224 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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motco said:
Service manager at a branch of Henly's insisted, with contempt in his voice, that my one year old (1980) Leyland Princess had an automatic transmission made by Automotive Products. It was, of course, Borg Warner. What chance he would know how to remedy its problems if he didn't even know which company made it?
My guess would be he got confused with the automatic box fitted to the Mini, which was indeed made by AP

Office_Monkey

1,969 posts

240 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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That my bike wasn't ready to be collected as the mechanic was "Just checking the carbs". On a model with fuel injection.

Smirnoffmark

Original Poster:

1,798 posts

257 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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This is the dealer who told me all that crap ********************

The guy who came out on the test drive even asked me to depress the clutch on an smg to start the motor, would do but the car doesn't have one. He also said that the rear parking sensors were activated by the button that actually changes the gear change response. One word - Numpties.


crap or not, we have rules here


Edited by PetrolTed on Saturday 20th February 09:51

T89 Callan

8,422 posts

224 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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censored tried to tell me that because the computer in my S4 said that it didn't need a service that they 'physically can't change the oil and plugs'.

I just laughed right in the service managers face.

ETA

No names please. smile

Edited by Big Al. on Saturday 20th February 11:19

MarJay

2,181 posts

206 months

Friday 19th February 2010
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Smirnoffmark said:
The guy who came out on the test drive even asked me to depress the clutch on an smg to start the motor, would do but the car doesn't have one. He also said that the rear parking sensors were activated by the button that actually changes the gear change response. One word - Numpties.
not allowed to name and shame... naughty naughty. nonosmile

Motorcycle dealers have told me loads of random crap before. A certain motorcycle dealer on a bridge near me once sold a mate of mine a 'fully serviced' CBR250 with no teeth on the front sprocket...

Edited by MarJay on Friday 19th February 19:49