Muppet moments
Discussion
Today, sun was out, so it was time for a oil and filter change on the RR Classic.
Very carefully removed the sump plug, and managed to catch all the old oil in the trip tray. Then moved the tray to under the filter. Removed that, and again caught all the oil. Not a spot on the drive or indeed on me (wearing gloves).
I decided to hold the filter upside down (whilst still on my back on a crawler under the car) to get everything last drop of oil into the tray.
Feeling smug.
Then....the filter slipped though my fingers into the tray. Oil everywhere, over the drive, over my clothes, my crawler, over my face and hair.
Climbed out feeling (and looking) like a right muppet. Anyone else got a stupid moment they would like to share?
Very carefully removed the sump plug, and managed to catch all the old oil in the trip tray. Then moved the tray to under the filter. Removed that, and again caught all the oil. Not a spot on the drive or indeed on me (wearing gloves).
I decided to hold the filter upside down (whilst still on my back on a crawler under the car) to get everything last drop of oil into the tray.
Feeling smug.
Then....the filter slipped though my fingers into the tray. Oil everywhere, over the drive, over my clothes, my crawler, over my face and hair.
Climbed out feeling (and looking) like a right muppet. Anyone else got a stupid moment they would like to share?
A few years ago I was called out to do a roadside repair on an bus door.
gathered together a selection of tools and set off, when I got there I found them problem to be a split in an air pipe.
Quick search through the kit and my van revealed no suitable repair items.
time for a temporary roadside bodge, with the aid of a tube of superglue and a T piece connector, the pipe was reconected.
All was going ok until the air pressure blew some unset super glue out.
Half hour later "hello good people of A&E, I appear to have superglued my top eyelid to my eyeball, can you help please".
not a good day.
gathered together a selection of tools and set off, when I got there I found them problem to be a split in an air pipe.
Quick search through the kit and my van revealed no suitable repair items.
time for a temporary roadside bodge, with the aid of a tube of superglue and a T piece connector, the pipe was reconected.
All was going ok until the air pressure blew some unset super glue out.
Half hour later "hello good people of A&E, I appear to have superglued my top eyelid to my eyeball, can you help please".
not a good day.
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
Bad times.
sebhaque said:
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
Headphones while driving?Bad times.
Shaw Tarse said:
sebhaque said:
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
Headphones while driving?Bad times.
Complete bafflement!!
sebhaque said:
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
so did you?Bad times.
Urban Sports said:
Shaw Tarse said:
sebhaque said:
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
Headphones while driving?Bad times.
Complete bafflement!!
Muppet moment today. removed the battery from my TVR Chimaera to fit a battery tray (previous owner had removed the factory one. He helpfully left two bolt holes in the floor pan though to allow rain water to accumulate in the passenger footwell - tit). Anyway got the battery out placed on the garage floor closed the door to allow me to get by and AAAH remember too late that you can't use the door switches if the battery is disconnected. Me stood scratching head and wondering how the hell to get into said motor.
Pothole said:
Urban Sports said:
Shaw Tarse said:
sebhaque said:
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
Headphones while driving?Bad times.
Complete bafflement!!
grgrgray said:
Muppet moment today. removed the battery from my TVR Chimaera to fit a battery tray (previous owner had removed the factory one. He helpfully left two bolt holes in the floor pan though to allow rain water to accumulate in the passenger footwell - tit). Anyway got the battery out placed on the garage floor closed the door to allow me to get by and AAAH remember too late that you can't use the door switches if the battery is disconnected. Me stood scratching head and wondering how the hell to get into said motor.
golf club 
(and no, not to smash the windows).
edo said:
grgrgray said:
Muppet moment today. removed the battery from my TVR Chimaera to fit a battery tray (previous owner had removed the factory one. He helpfully left two bolt holes in the floor pan though to allow rain water to accumulate in the passenger footwell - tit). Anyway got the battery out placed on the garage floor closed the door to allow me to get by and AAAH remember too late that you can't use the door switches if the battery is disconnected. Me stood scratching head and wondering how the hell to get into said motor.
golf club (and no, not to smash the windows).
This ^^^^^Classic muppet moment for me was on a train from Manchester - Birmingham. Got a cup of coffee, with milk and sugar. Got back to my seat, but the paper bag it comes in down, opened the lid on the coffee, put the sugar in the coffee, then opened the milk, and poured the milk straight into the bag.
Guy next to me cracked up laughing. D'oh!
Guy next to me cracked up laughing. D'oh!
Oh hell i have loads of motoring goof ups, it would take way to long to list them all, but here is a small selection
Smoking a cigarette whilst turning a corner in my old clio 172, drop said cigarette down the back of the steering column forcing a quick sprint to the nearest layby to get the fire extinguisher-what a donger
Park my new(two days old) s
troen c4 coupe at work near a crate containing some very heavy engineering stuff. At the end of the shift, i pulled away and caught one of the side mouldings on this crate and ripped it right off the car-dhead
Bought some smoked rear lights and centre moulding for my cavalier sri(they are off an sri130), assure my mate that they will fit no problem. Manage to snap one of the lugs on the old lights getting them off, only to find the new ones are not the right size-tit
How i managed this next one i will never ever know, but i once managed to strip the thread on a spark plug, whilst it was still on the head of my old mini-WGBE
Smoking a cigarette whilst turning a corner in my old clio 172, drop said cigarette down the back of the steering column forcing a quick sprint to the nearest layby to get the fire extinguisher-what a donger
Park my new(two days old) s
troen c4 coupe at work near a crate containing some very heavy engineering stuff. At the end of the shift, i pulled away and caught one of the side mouldings on this crate and ripped it right off the car-dheadBought some smoked rear lights and centre moulding for my cavalier sri(they are off an sri130), assure my mate that they will fit no problem. Manage to snap one of the lugs on the old lights getting them off, only to find the new ones are not the right size-tit
How i managed this next one i will never ever know, but i once managed to strip the thread on a spark plug, whilst it was still on the head of my old mini-WGBE
For me it's usually the maintenance jobs as well that go a bit wrong. For example:
1) Kicking over the tin of silver hammerite I intended to use to paint the oil cooler pipes on my ZS, and seeing it spread all over the patio. Nothing would shift it, until I tried the can of brake cleaner - phew!
2) Sunday afternoon, it's going to be getting dark in an hour. I think I'll just change the backbox quickly, as the old one has a hole. Jack car up, wrench in hand, ready to go. Then 2 minutes later, oh dear, the wrench can't get enough leverage on one of the nuts, as there's bits of car in the way and very seized nuts on the exhaust joint. No problem, I'll grind through the exhaust so I can pull it down and get the wrench on the nuts.
So I start grinding, then, oh dear, the exhaust heatshield is in the way, and I can't get a good angle with the angle grinder due to the lack of space. I'll try gas then, get the gas canister and start heating, now it's getting dark. The flame is heating up a flexible brake hose, so I spend 10 minutes trying to balance an old brake pad in the way so the heat doesn't get to the hose. Now I'm getting burnt a bit, and the gas torch does not want to light with my knackered lighter. I persevere, and finally get the stuck nut red hot. Still it won't budge, bugger!
So it's back to the grinder, I'm having to make lots of cuts at various angles to try and break through the exhaust, it's almost pitch black now, and I have no eye protection that would work in the dark. Cue little pieces of steel getting in my eyes, it hurts! The job takes twice as long as I am holding a torch between my teeth! I finally cut through the exhaust, woohoo, and get the seized nut off. Now on with the backbox, another 10 minutes of work.
All done, yes! Well except the exhaust was now knocking, I needed to play around with the rubber hangers to stop that, over the course of the next week. Also, I had cut through the casing of the brake flexible hose (the last time I will be so stupied as to grind by torchlight!), so had to go to the motor factors and order a new one.
Next weekend, I set to change the brake hose. Took the old one off, lost some brake fluid, tried fitting the new one, but no, it was completely wrong. So back on goes the old one, brakes bled. Back to the motor factors, order new hose, another trip to collect, then finally replace the brake hose I had damaged while changing the back box.
To be honest I should have just done the exhaust the next weekend when I had more time, but you live and learn!
1) Kicking over the tin of silver hammerite I intended to use to paint the oil cooler pipes on my ZS, and seeing it spread all over the patio. Nothing would shift it, until I tried the can of brake cleaner - phew!
2) Sunday afternoon, it's going to be getting dark in an hour. I think I'll just change the backbox quickly, as the old one has a hole. Jack car up, wrench in hand, ready to go. Then 2 minutes later, oh dear, the wrench can't get enough leverage on one of the nuts, as there's bits of car in the way and very seized nuts on the exhaust joint. No problem, I'll grind through the exhaust so I can pull it down and get the wrench on the nuts.
So I start grinding, then, oh dear, the exhaust heatshield is in the way, and I can't get a good angle with the angle grinder due to the lack of space. I'll try gas then, get the gas canister and start heating, now it's getting dark. The flame is heating up a flexible brake hose, so I spend 10 minutes trying to balance an old brake pad in the way so the heat doesn't get to the hose. Now I'm getting burnt a bit, and the gas torch does not want to light with my knackered lighter. I persevere, and finally get the stuck nut red hot. Still it won't budge, bugger!
So it's back to the grinder, I'm having to make lots of cuts at various angles to try and break through the exhaust, it's almost pitch black now, and I have no eye protection that would work in the dark. Cue little pieces of steel getting in my eyes, it hurts! The job takes twice as long as I am holding a torch between my teeth! I finally cut through the exhaust, woohoo, and get the seized nut off. Now on with the backbox, another 10 minutes of work.
All done, yes! Well except the exhaust was now knocking, I needed to play around with the rubber hangers to stop that, over the course of the next week. Also, I had cut through the casing of the brake flexible hose (the last time I will be so stupied as to grind by torchlight!), so had to go to the motor factors and order a new one.
Next weekend, I set to change the brake hose. Took the old one off, lost some brake fluid, tried fitting the new one, but no, it was completely wrong. So back on goes the old one, brakes bled. Back to the motor factors, order new hose, another trip to collect, then finally replace the brake hose I had damaged while changing the back box.
To be honest I should have just done the exhaust the next weekend when I had more time, but you live and learn!
Urban Sports said:
Shaw Tarse said:
sebhaque said:
Earlier today, had my headphones in and was singing (loudly) along to Metallica on the motorway. Had the window down as it was a bit warm - and then I hit traffic. Completely in my own world I continued to sing along as the traffic built up around me and other folks got a free (awful) concert. Only realised as the tracks changed and some lads in the car next to me shouted "DO MASTER OF PUPPETS NEXT!"
Bad times.
Headphones while driving?Bad times.
Complete bafflement!!
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