Morons on the Motorway

[Conor D]

Cruising along the M2 yesterday making good progress, I come across a car sitting in the overtaking lane. There's no traffic in front for a good mile, and I'm sitting in lane one. I pull out and signal that I want to pass, they just sit there. I move back across and signal again that I want to pass, with no luck I flash my lights and make myself visible in all their mirrors.

After a good few minutes they finally get the message and pull into lane one, I pass them and this girl looks over at me as I'm passing as if to say "What's your problem?".

I pull into lane one, look in my mirrors and she has "What the hell was that about?!" written on her face.. Now, I'm sitting in lane one again driving along and what does she do, moves back out into the overtaking lane!

And she continues to sit there for as far as I could still see her!

[bob1179]

Very simple answer here:

She was brain dead moron.

I've seen exactly the same thing on several occasions.

[Conor D]

I wish I had a red bull handy at the time!

[Conor D]

I wish I had a red bull handy at the time!

[nicky.mattsson]

See it every day, almost without fail.

Simple answer is no motorway training apart from what their parents have told them.

'Now then Porcia, here are the keys to your brand new (insert name of typical french shopping trolley car), when you first get on a motorway always remember there is the slow lane, which you dont want to be in as its for caravans and trucks. The fast lane is also a no-no as its for people who drive too fast, kill animals and pollute the earth. So stick to the middle lane and do 70 no matter what is going on.'

'Ok daddy dear'

Education is the only asnwer....

[ManOpener]

bob1179 said:

Very simple answer here:

She was brain dead moron.

I've seen exactly the same thing on several occasions.

I generally find that horn, flash and indicate in the direction you want them to go gets their attention.

[Dog Star]

Yesterday on the M621 I'm turtling along at about 70 on my bike - two lanes of dense traffic doing the same speed. I look down at the 206 (quelle surprise!) next to me and the lass in it is - I st you not - reading a fking book! I beeped and she jumped, looked at me and I just shrugged my arms at her in a sort of "what on earth...." kind of fashion. She looked pretty embarrassed and threw it onto the passenger seat sharpish.

I'm no road safety nazi but the number of girls I see txting (I started a thread about it) and then this really gets me worried. I love the freedom of using my bike but if I end up lying in the carriageway screaming for my mum with my leg ripped off I'd like it to be for a better reason than because young Chelsea wanted to tell her mate "loveeee youuu!1221111!"

[deeen]

ManOpener said:

bob1179 said:

Very simple answer here:

She was brain dead moron.

I've seen exactly the same thing on several occasions.

I generally find that horn, flash and indicate in the direction you want them to go gets their attention.

In a park, that would get you arrested.

[AndrewW-G]

nicky.mattsson said:

See it every day, almost without fail.

Simple answer is no motorway training apart from what their parents have told them.

'Now then PorTia, here are the keys to your brand new (insert name of typical french shopping trolley car), when you first get on a motorway always remember there is the slow lane, which you dont want to be in as its for caravans and trucks. The fast lane is also a no-no as its for people who drive too fast, kill animals and pollute the earth. So stick to the middle lane and do 70 no matter what is going on.'

'Ok daddy dear'

Education is the only asnwer....

EFS

[ambuletz]

some kind of battering ram attachment to knock them off the road, along with a pamphlet to kindly hand them as they crawl out wreckage, with the thing they did wrong highlighted and a 'where to go from now'

[nicky.mattsson]

AndrewW-G said:

nicky.mattsson said:

See it every day, almost without fail.

Simple answer is no motorway training apart from what their parents have told them.

'Now then PorTia, here are the keys to your brand new (insert name of typical french shopping trolley car), when you first get on a motorway always remember there is the slow lane, which you dont want to be in as its for caravans and trucks. The fast lane is also a no-no as its for people who drive too fast, kill animals and pollute the earth. So stick to the middle lane and do 70 no matter what is going on.'

'Ok daddy dear'

Education is the only aNSwe....

EFS

EFS again

[Engineer1]

The other option if they refuse to move over is to drive past on the inside.

[ManOpener]

deeen said:

ManOpener said:

bob1179 said:

Very simple answer here:

She was brain dead moron.

I've seen exactly the same thing on several occasions.

I generally find that horn, flash and indicate in the direction you want them to go gets their attention.

In a park, that would get you arrested.

Only 50% of the time. The rest, you end up in a bush.

[Jazzer]

I drove all the way to London from Scotland yesterday....and I have to say that driving standards decline markedly as I get further south!

The middle-lane cruisers, the fat baldy men in people carriers who wage 70 mile wars with you, the day-dreamers who forget where they are and have no awareness of what's around, the idiot travelling at 55 in the inside lane who kept braking with nothing in front of him, and who then inexplicably moved to lane 2 to block my overtake (was not tailgating!!), those Dale-Winton types in convertibles FFS, those young guys in Clios who overtake you as you're cruising in lane 1 and then slow down and pull in in front of you......seriously does my head in......normally calm and controlled, but eventually think WTF.....M-mode on and cheerio!

[Balmoral Green]

I don't think there is an answer anymore. Middle lane morons and outside lane hogs, they will always be with us, and the numbers are growing. They are in the ascendency. We've done the subject to death, and it's still worth doing to death, even if it's just to rant. Catharsis. But there's nothing we can do.

Just undertake them.

[Jebi]

I used to do as you did on a 2 lane M/way or D/C but I no longer bother, it causes others to get road rage with me, even though they are being the cretin. I just pass up the inside now, making sure I move past quickly as some have been know to pull back in to "block".


And if there is a an MLM on a M/way (and a 3rd lane, unlike the M2) I move from lane 1 to 2 to 3 and back to lane 1 again; they often "twig" and move in after my overtake

[chim]

My biggest pet hate are people that seem incapable of maintaing a constant speed, I tend to do a lot of Motorway cruising and more often than not use cruise control, the amount of people that pass you, pull in to your lane then slow down is unbelievable, if you then go to pass them again they invariable speed the feck up again and repeat.

Does my head in.

[Torquey]

Balmoral Green said:

Just undertake them.

That is my preferred, easiest and probably safest (when considering road rage) method despite having received 3 points for it in the past.

[Dog Star]

Torquey said:

Balmoral Green said:

Just undertake them.

That is my preferred, easiest and probably safest (when considering road rage) method despite having received 3 points for it in the past.

What seems to work in a lot of cases with someone who has been deliberately blocking is to start a run on them and then feint for the middle lane - quite a lot will quickly go for the middle to block, leaving you able to simply slip past on the right Only very rarely will they swerve back to the right.

I've found that most people really do just clear out of the way for bikes, it's like the parting of the Red Sea sometimes, however there are two sorts that don't = middle aged housewife types in shopping cars and (by far the worst) fat "director" types in (Eg) Mercs (you can spot them as they'll be wearing st like those blue shirts with white collars and braces with their gut protruding between the straps). They will NOT move for anyone and get swiftly despached up the inside.

[Laurel Green]

Could be that most of the offenders of such driving are more used to driving on 'tother side of the road.