Private Parking Firm Director

[ymwoods]

Well as some of you will know I work nights at a Hotel and I have just checked in a guy using a company name that sounded very much like a private parking company. I am a bit reluctant to give out any details (may lose my job) but after doing a little internet research on the name and looking on their "meet our team" page it turns out he is the managing director!

Now, just got to find out which car is his and then find a clamp.

Any ideas as to how I can make his stay st without being sacked?

[Pints]

Punch him in the throat. Hard!
Yes, you'll probably lose your job but it'll be worth it.

[CraigyMc]

ymwoods said:

Any ideas as to how I can make his stay st without being sacked?

Depending on the hotel, you might well just have to behave as usual (I speak from current bitter experience).

C

[kazste]

fire drill?

[CraigyMc]

It's sort of a shame he's checked in already. Rooms beside lifts suck ass - motor noise all night (also from people wandering to/from the lifts).

Is your hotel in a chain?
Which area?

C

[Craphouserat]

Pee in his soup. Rub his steak against your pits. Spit in his morning yoghurt. wk in one of his socks when he's out - ofcourse.

Or like the other guy said - punch him in the throat...hard.

[ymwoods]

CraigyMc said:

It's sort of a shame he's checked in already. Rooms beside lifts suck ass - motor noise all night (also from people wandering to/from the lifts).

Is your hotel in a chain?
Which area?

C

Ahhh, a very good idea that I have missed! I could have put him in the room next to the generators! I didn't know who it was until I googled him after check-in though.

[anonymous-user]

Has he got an empty room next door? If so, a nice 3AM slamming of the next room's door (or 6).

Can you turn his room air con on/off remotely?

Tiny stone in each of his valve caps (if you know which car is his).

Register him 30 times on your mailing list so he is literally bombarded with the offers etc?

The classic, childish, "wk you" instead of "Thankyou" or "Jizz" instead of "cheers" - wont affect him but is always amusing!

A 4AM wake-up call (blamed on a typo at reception, of course)

Has he ordered a room service breakfast bag? If so, a good wipe around your sphincter/helmet with the spoon.

If he's booked for more than one night, then pop in there after the housekeeping and any number of things - his toothbrush around your arse is fairly unpleasant.

Delete a number out of his reservation booking credit card so he has to pay himself and claim it back? Don't know how feasible.

Get a friend to block his car in, presumably the car park is private and therefore the police can't do anything? Or you yourself park literally millimetres from his door - if your car is sufficiently old (but not if its a nice car, obviously!).

Pee in his air vents?

But to clamp him would be awesome.
http://www.towsure.com/product/398-Rise_and_Clamp

[ZOLLAR]

Tv's in the hotel rooms?,
Morning checkout advise of the cost of the room including the movie he rented (movie description "c0ck on c0ck action), after 5 minutes of intense embarrasment in the foyer in front of collegues and guests apoligise (quietly) and say it was a mistake.

You may get in st but those 5 minutes of watching him go bright red and sweat like the pig he is will be priceless!.

[Papa Hotel]

Pee in his butt.

[anonymous-user]

ZOLLAR said:

Tv's in the hotel rooms?,
Morning checkout advise of the cost of the room including the movie he rented (movie description "c0ck on c0ck action), after 5 minutes of intense embarrasment in the foyer in front of collegues and guests apoligise (quietly) and say it was a mistake.

You may get in st but those 5 minutes of watching him go bright red and sweat like the pig he is will be priceless!.

[ymwoods]

Some very good ideas chaps!

With the job at stake I have had to settle with telling housekeeping that they are free to hoover the coridoor outside of his bedroom door. Of course that specific section is very dirty and they have been instructed to make sure they get right to the edges of the carpet which may mean they accidently bang against his door.

Seeing as he checked in at 4am I don't think he was expecting an early start!

I have mentioned his room number to the breakfast staff too so I hope he is not in a rush to eat as he will find them very lathargic today. No promises on the Chef coming down with the sneezes but we will see.

As it happens I do know what car is his and the reg number is very fetching. The letters and numbers spell out B.I.T.C.H so I am assuming this is what he thinks about his customers? It is a very fetching BMW M5 with what looks to be like all the bells and whistles.

Finally, to reply to a previous poster. Yes it is a chain and its in the Stoke area.