snow muppetry stories

[Zod]

We had a few inches in Highgate this morning. I walked my four year old son to school so that my heavily pregnant wife wouldn't have to risk slipping in the snow. I didn't take a car, becasue I haven't got round to switching the wheels yet.

At the top of the hill leading down to his school was a snake of three mothers' cars that had slid into each other. Much more exciting for my son though was the middle-aged couple's Nissan left parked in the middle of the other road leading down from the crown of the hill. The husband was helping another driver to clear snow in fron of his car while the wife watched until she started screaming, "Michael, Michael - the car!" as their Nissan started to slide empty down the hill.

Got down the hill to the school (200 yards) to find more mothers sliding aound, kissing each others' cars with their own. Oddly, I saw few 4x4s. Usually, they're out in force.

All very minor, but all so avoidable.

Muppets!


Any more?

[alfa pint]

Only the daft bint across the road with a ford focus. Max revs on, moves a foot. Digs snow from under wheels. Max revs on, moves another few inches. Tries again with full lock (loads and loads of room to go straight back). Repeat x 50. Moves 10 feet, pushed out by her other neighbours and myself.

Got her on the main road, which is also unplowed and ungritted. I tell her to change to 2nd as soon as she can. She leaves it in first and floors it. Me and a mate shouting '2nd gear' at her. She leaves in first and moves about a yard. Repeat x 5. I'm getting furious with the stupid cow now. "Put your car in second gear. It won't stall on this and we'll push you off". She puts it in first and screams off down the road at 6000 revs and 3 mph. God forbid one of the wheels found any traction and she took off into one of the neighbours' cars....

[DonkeyApple]

Zod said:

Oddly, I saw few 4x4s. Usually, they're out in force.

Maybe they're following my school of thought: Leave it in the garage for the first 48 hours of London snowfall so as most of the idiots who'll be driving into you will have taken themselves out against each other leaving the roads safer.

Also, I suspect that many learnt last winter that a 4x4 on super wide, low profiles is as clever as Barry Chuckle.

[Zod]

DonkeyApple said:

Zod said:

Oddly, I saw few 4x4s. Usually, they're out in force.

Also, I suspect that many learnt last winter that a 4x4 on super wide, low profiles is as clever as Barry Chuckle.

I hope the ones on my street learned that - they still have the Touareg, the X5 and the Q7, all with foot wide large flat block low profile tyres..

[sebhaque]

Left for work early this morning taking it very gingerly in the snow. As I came to a junction, I stopped and looked left, just in time to see an Audi A4 gracefully slide across the road perpendicular to the motion of travel, all four wheels spinning, engine screaming, and the woman inside looking horrified.

It also surprises me the amount of people who clear the snow from their windows but not from their lights. Then they wonder why they can't see much in front of them!

[DonkeyApple]

Zod said:

DonkeyApple said:

Zod said:

Oddly, I saw few 4x4s. Usually, they're out in force.

Also, I suspect that many learnt last winter that a 4x4 on super wide, low profiles is as clever as Barry Chuckle.

I hope the ones on my street learned that - they still have the Touareg, the X5 and the Q7, all with foot wide large flat block low profile tyres..

I recall last winter I was out in the old rangie and I was waiting at the bottom of Frognal for the car infront to clear the rise when a tit in an AMG 4x4 who had blown his horn a couple of times then decided to overtake and run up the hill. He spent about a minute alongside me spinning to save himself from sliding back into the Finchley Road before I waved and tottled off up the hill without ever losing traction.

[Zod]

I shudder to think about what Hampstead Lane and all the roads leading off downhill into Hampstead and Highgate must have been like this morning. Most mornings, they are jammed with MLs, GLs, X5s, X3s, Q7s, Q5s, RRs, RRSs, Discoveries, Cayennes, Touaregs and RX450s (loads of RX450s in Hampstead Garden Suburb Racing Gold), all driven by school-run Mums.

[DonkeyApple]

Zod said:

I shudder to think about what Hampstead Lane and all the roads leading off downhill into Hampstead and Highgate must have been like this morning. Most mornings, they are jammed with MLs, GLs, X5s, X3s, Q7s, Q5s, RRs, RRSs, Discoveries, Cayennes, Touaregs and RX450s (loads of RX450s in Hampstead Garden Suburb Racing Gold), all driven by school-run Mums.

Snow flakes can kill children so they wouldn't have been taking them to school would they.

[Bricol]

Local news had video of a nice RAC towing a stuck Nissan driver backwards out of the snow. Either RAC Nissan pickups don't have diff-lock, or LSDs, 'cos it appeared to be spinning opposite corner wheels. Camera pans round to old bloke in stuck Nissan who decided to help by flooring it . . . forwards . . . hee hee . .

Bri

[Tallbut Buxomly]

sebhaque said:

Left for work early this morning taking it very gingerly in the snow. As I came to a junction, I stopped and looked left, just in time to see an Audi A4 gracefully slide across the road perpendicular to the motion of travel, all four wheels spinning, engine screaming, and the woman inside looking horrified.

It also surprises me the amount of people who clear the snow from their windows but not from their lights. Then they wonder why they can't see much in front of them!

I got told off about this today by some daft bugger. Roads were very slippery and all the side roads on one side were sloped quite heavily onto the main road i was on so whenever i crept forward in the queue of traffic i would check no cars were coming and i would leave a gap at the side roads incase someone got their braking point wrong and slid into the main road i was on.

Old chap then taps on the window and asks me to move forward to let people out of other sliproads further down. fk off not gonna happen.

[Fleckers]

people with front and rear fogs blazing away

Its only a bit of snow

[Reflect]

I remain annoyed with people driving off with a foot of snow on their roof, not much different from shoveling snow into the road. It's illegal in some US states and European countries, but not in the UK I believe?

I suggested to a (lady) driver polishing snow that second gear and a gentler use of the accelerator to move off might do the trick, "I'VE GOT TO USE FIRST GEAR FIRST YOU IDIOT" was the rather angry reply...

[John D.]

Fleckers said:

people with front and rear fogs blazing away

Its only a bit of snow

That has nothing to do with the snow!

[NiceCupOfTea]

Too many to mention!

• 80% of all cars with 4 inches of snow on roof, bonnet and boot.
• 30% of all cars where snow has been cleared from windscreen by struggling wipers
• good proportion of all cars had covered lights / lights swithed off in fading light
• people following too closely / not leaving space
• most peoples' solution to a little bit of wheelspinning, rather than to back off and try to get traction, seemed to be floor the throttle in first and polish the road up

Let an older chap out of a junction when the traffic moved in front of me, but he couldn't get any traction. Just sat there slewing sideways bouncing it off the limiter. I thought, "fked if I'm having him sat behind me going down this hill", so got out and tried to get him moving with a couple of passers-by. Repeated suggestions of "use 2nd" were met with "I am" (plainly not!), trying to get him to slip the clutch was too much (too technical obviously). Got him to drop back off the mirror like surface he had made and got him moving...

And just countless people in MPVs/4x4s/exec saloons/hatches with huge alloys with wide rubber bands on them STAY AT HOME OR GET SOME PROPER TYRES SO I DON'T SPEND MY DAY STARING AT BRAKELIGHTS!

Edited by NiceCupOfTea on Tuesday 30th November 20:15

[rallycross]

I'm in London, cue panic and fear from drivers as we have just had a light dusting of snow...



As I was walking up my road tonight ( a wide tree lined avenue) there is a light dusting of snow on the pavement, nothing on the road surface, basically just a wet road, an old boy in a renault clio drives past at 10 mph, maybe even less, he was going so slow that I could still see him in front after I had walked for about half a mile! And he was in first gear!

[i remember]

alfa pint said:

Only the daft bint across the road with a ford focus. Max revs on, moves a foot. Digs snow from under wheels. Max revs on, moves another few inches. Tries again with full lock (loads and loads of room to go straight back). Repeat x 50. Moves 10 feet, pushed out by her other neighbours and myself.

Got her on the main road, which is also unplowed and ungritted. I tell her to change to 2nd as soon as she can. She leaves it in first and floors it. Me and a mate shouting '2nd gear' at her. She leaves in first and moves about a yard. Repeat x 5. I'm getting furious with the stupid cow now. "Put your car in second gear. It won't stall on this and we'll push you off". She puts it in first and screams off down the road at 6000 revs and 3 mph. God forbid one of the wheels found any traction and she took off into one of the neighbours' cars....

Genuine lol, classic bint driving control

Im just gonna cut this into " classic from the mrs " thread, i think its needed

[robsco]

alfa pint said:

Only the daft bint across the road with a ford focus. Max revs on, moves a foot. Digs snow from under wheels. Max revs on, moves another few inches. Tries again with full lock (loads and loads of room to go straight back). Repeat x 50. Moves 10 feet, pushed out by her other neighbours and myself.

Got her on the main road, which is also unplowed and ungritted. I tell her to change to 2nd as soon as she can. She leaves it in first and floors it. Me and a mate shouting '2nd gear' at her. She leaves in first and moves about a yard. Repeat x 5. I'm getting furious with the stupid cow now. "Put your car in second gear. It won't stall on this and we'll push you off". She puts it in first and screams off down the road at 6000 revs and 3 mph. God forbid one of the wheels found any traction and she took off into one of the neighbours' cars....

Some people's lack of common sense boggles the mind.

[MoonMonkey]

The daft bint in the Seat Altea outside my house last night. I'm clearing the drive and the usual scenario is unfolding on the road outside. She's at a standstill, giving it max revs, front wheels spinning wildly and pointing to the kerb etc etc. So I offer to give her a push if she puts it in 2nd and eases the power in. It works and off we go. We get up a bit of momentum for the slightly steeper part of the road, she's now on max revs and I've got my head down running and pushing the car.

It's at this point she a) decides to wipe the rear window so that the wiper arm almost amputates my fingers and b) also decides we aren't going quick enough so slams on the anchors. Noting I am still running, head down with outstretched arms, uncertain as to the fate of my fingers it is at this point I look up and my face becomes somewhat intimate with a Seat Altea rear hatchback door... I went inside after that and let chaos ensue.

[shouldbworking]

Well..

[sebhaque]

Reflect said:

I remain annoyed with people driving off with a foot of snow on their roof, not much different from shoveling snow into the road. It's illegal in some US states and European countries, but not in the UK I believe?

Reminds me of the first day I took my Impreza out into the snow. It was turning into slush and there was ice all over the spoiler. After a minute or two on the motorway I was rather alarmed at how large the chunks of ice were that were coming off the spoiler and peppering the increasingly frustrated motorist's car behind me. Quickly popped onto the hard shoulder and took the rest off with a scraper. Soon learnt to defrost not just the glass, lights, and roof, but the spoiler too!