I have a theory; the way you walk = the way you drive
Discussion
Having enjoyed the wonder that is Christmas shopping, I have discovered something:
You can tell how good a driver will be by the way they walk along a highstreet.
Allow me to present my completely anecdotal and heavily stereotyped evidence. Chav and pram. Will happily walk 4 a breast, straight down the centre of the high street, giving way to no one and doing whatever they feel they need to do that suits them best at that exact time; be it stopping in the centre of a crowded street to light a cigarette or tend to little Brittany-Cher's needs.
Contrast this with "driver and pram". Easy to spot - bloke pushing pram on his own, making progress as best he can. Sees things from a long way off, before he "pulls out" to overtake someone will always have a quick check over the shoulder, and you can see his speed go up and down as circumstances ahead of him play out, so he can maintain movement.
Both of these examples will drive the exact same way on the road. I've no proof, other than wildly formed and heavily accurate stereotypes.
Take both the above scenarios sans-pram. All aspects remain true, but the speeds are a bit quicker. Chav woman (I'm looking at you here, Waynetta) will not give way at all and continue at the highest pace possible (may not actually be fast, but as fast as is feasible) to the direction she wants to go. Things may occur up ahead, but she ignores them and ploughs on.
Normal bloke adjusts his speed, cuts in and out, often gives way to people and, seemingly easily, walks through the highstreet without drama.
So, what conclusion can I draw from this theory? How about a filter program for driving tests, to reduce the waiting time. When you wish to book your driving test, you must first be viewed walking through a high street. Hazards will be presented to you (woman in front stops, gaggle of people ahead will cross at the point you get there, overtaking slow walkers/the elderly). If you navigate this hell of walking endeavour then you are allowed to take your driving test.
If you don't pass, you will be shot.
Thus, singlehandedly, I have reduced the driving test waiting list and eased congestion in our high streets. And, more than likely, rid Jeremy Kyle of his audience.
You can tell how good a driver will be by the way they walk along a highstreet.
Allow me to present my completely anecdotal and heavily stereotyped evidence. Chav and pram. Will happily walk 4 a breast, straight down the centre of the high street, giving way to no one and doing whatever they feel they need to do that suits them best at that exact time; be it stopping in the centre of a crowded street to light a cigarette or tend to little Brittany-Cher's needs.
Contrast this with "driver and pram". Easy to spot - bloke pushing pram on his own, making progress as best he can. Sees things from a long way off, before he "pulls out" to overtake someone will always have a quick check over the shoulder, and you can see his speed go up and down as circumstances ahead of him play out, so he can maintain movement.
Both of these examples will drive the exact same way on the road. I've no proof, other than wildly formed and heavily accurate stereotypes.
Take both the above scenarios sans-pram. All aspects remain true, but the speeds are a bit quicker. Chav woman (I'm looking at you here, Waynetta) will not give way at all and continue at the highest pace possible (may not actually be fast, but as fast as is feasible) to the direction she wants to go. Things may occur up ahead, but she ignores them and ploughs on.
Normal bloke adjusts his speed, cuts in and out, often gives way to people and, seemingly easily, walks through the highstreet without drama.
So, what conclusion can I draw from this theory? How about a filter program for driving tests, to reduce the waiting time. When you wish to book your driving test, you must first be viewed walking through a high street. Hazards will be presented to you (woman in front stops, gaggle of people ahead will cross at the point you get there, overtaking slow walkers/the elderly). If you navigate this hell of walking endeavour then you are allowed to take your driving test.
If you don't pass, you will be shot.
Thus, singlehandedly, I have reduced the driving test waiting list and eased congestion in our high streets. And, more than likely, rid Jeremy Kyle of his audience.
I too have a similar theory.
As a bloke I like to travel quickly and pull as many bipedal powerslides as possible whilst calculating the risks ahead, looking for potential dangers and trying to eye up any totty that may be within 'leering' distance.
I feel you can also apply the walking rule to supermarkets and the way people handle their shopping trollies.
Those of us that continually drift our trollies around the isles are obviously driving gods.
As a bloke I like to travel quickly and pull as many bipedal powerslides as possible whilst calculating the risks ahead, looking for potential dangers and trying to eye up any totty that may be within 'leering' distance.
I feel you can also apply the walking rule to supermarkets and the way people handle their shopping trollies.
Those of us that continually drift our trollies around the isles are obviously driving gods.
+1
I Walk fast, passing people, careful when turning in for undertakers etc, give way, keep to the left, get annoyed when people overtake towards me!
Push trolley fast, overtaking carefully, get annoyed with mlm's and undertake, try to park considerately and make my intentions clear.
Old people dawdle, not really sure where they are going, young lads overtake towards people and don't really concentrate on what is going on around them.
Business people are too concerned with their phone conversations to watch where they walk!
All do similar on the road!
I Walk fast, passing people, careful when turning in for undertakers etc, give way, keep to the left, get annoyed when people overtake towards me!
Push trolley fast, overtaking carefully, get annoyed with mlm's and undertake, try to park considerately and make my intentions clear.
Old people dawdle, not really sure where they are going, young lads overtake towards people and don't really concentrate on what is going on around them.
Business people are too concerned with their phone conversations to watch where they walk!
All do similar on the road!
By some form of devious plans I ended up in a shop the other day; you hang back with the trolley to let someone else go through a gap and then a non-thinking git will plough on through, it is obvious I am waiting to go, do you see me looking at things on shelves? I did think about ramming a few old dears and some not so old though I hade my no-claims (yogurts) to think of.
bob1179 said:
I too have a similar theory.
As a bloke I like to travel quickly and pull as many bipedal powerslides as possible whilst calculating the risks ahead, looking for potential dangers and trying to eye up any totty that may be within 'leering' distance.
And they say blokes can't multi-task!As a bloke I like to travel quickly and pull as many bipedal powerslides as possible whilst calculating the risks ahead, looking for potential dangers and trying to eye up any totty that may be within 'leering' distance.
TonyHetherington said:
Chav and pram. Will happily walk 4 a breast, straight down the centre of the high street, giving way to no one and doing whatever they feel they need to do that suits them best at that exact time; be it stopping in the centre of a crowded street to light a cigarette or tend to little Brittany-Cher's needs.
Something else that I've noticed about this very same type of people, is that when want to cross the road they seem to pick any random place and just push the pram out into the road in the hope that everyone is paying attention and will stop, even better when they appear from a row of stationary traffic pram first giving the moving traffic form the opposite direction no chance of seeing the pram. This often seems to happen when there are crossings or pedestrian islands to aid crossing within easy walking distance. But hey why make the effort, nothing like putting your child's safety first it there!I'm no snob, but having a Wilko open near where I work has proved to be a real eye opener every time I walk through (makes a good short cut to get the the sandwich shop across the high street), is there also a connection between intelligence (or the lack of) and being unable to talk at a normal volume rather than shout in normal conversation? Funnily enough it always seems to be a sea of people going in random directions, who don't give way to each other LOL
king car.doogz said:
My OH is terrible for it in shops, no spatial awareness, she doesn't fit into your profile though, she's actually a very good driver, always aware of whats going on around her
Whoaaaaaaaa. Don't go disagreeing with the theory now, who knows what might come of it. If any doubt is cast upon this rock solid unflawed comment on society, then where will we be?
im just a firm believer know what u want an where it is get in an get out much like bedroom antics of me an the miss's 
FraserLFA said:
The supermarket shop is deffinitely applicable here. With Christmas coming up, only the best of us can make it through alive 
I am a master at the 4 wheel drift round the corner.
I have also started spinning my trolley to one side of an obstuction in the middle of the aisle (fat lass), then walking round the other side and catching it perfectly in step as we meet up on the other side of the obstruction. The look on their chubby sweaty spactard face as a trolley whistles past on one side and i go by on the other is priceless. I am yet to master it with moving targets though.
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