Note For All

[Doofus]

You know how, when you drive any distance at this time of year, your windscreen gets really smeary really quickly? And you know how you have to keep using your washer jets to clear it? And you know how that makes the water run out really quickly (and inconveniently)?

Well it would last a damn sight longer if you aimed your fking jets AT your fking windscreen instead of over the fking roof! Not only are you wasting most of your fking water but I'm having to use mine more fking quickly because only some of yours hits my fking windscreen, so when I wipe that off, it makes the dry bits of my screen fking smeary all over again!

It's not fking rocket science! Well it is, in that it's about fine tuning jets, but it isn't fking difficult! All you need is a fking pin, or something with a small prick on the end (yes, I'm looking at you!) and the teeniest bit of common fking sense!

fk st bks!

[Shaw Tarse]

Meh, poor rant!

[Jonboy_t]

Good point, well presented. Points deducted for the invention of words such as 'smeary'. Overall, Special Olympic quality rant, but you've not made it to London 2012 quite yet.

[Doofus]

smear·y (smîr'e)
adj. smear·i·er, smear·i·est
1. Having been smeared. Esp. of windscreen when following some cock who can't adjust his fking windscreen washer jets properly.
2. Tending to smear or soil. "I'm a dopey tt who can't adjust my washer jets properly, so whenever I try to clean my own windscreen, I am making the windscreen of the chap behind me all smeary. fk me, I'm a dimboid."

[Hartge210]

6/10

Too much fking use of the f-word

[Doofus]

Yes, but it's all soft consonants, thereby keeping the spittle on the inside of my windscreen to a minimum.

[mattviatura]

A jet isn't a rocket. Very poor rant only scores at all because of F-word usage 2/10 must try much harder.

[al1991]

Point fking taken.

[Jonboy_t]

Doofus said:

smear·y (smîr'e)
adj. smear·i·er, smear·i·est
1. Having been smeared. Esp. of windscreen when following some cock who can't adjust his fking windscreen washer jets properly.
2. Tending to smear or soil. "I'm a dopey tt who can't adjust my washer jets properly, so whenever I try to clean my own windscreen, I am making the windscreen of the chap behind me all smeary. fk me, I'm a dimboid."

I wish to now retract my previous statement!!

[Pigeon]

Doofus said:

smear·y (smîr'e)
adj. smear·i·er, smear·i·est
1. Having been smeared. Esp. of windscreen when following some cock who can't adjust his fking windscreen washer jets properly.
2. Tending to smear or soil. "I'm a dopey tt who can't adjust my washer jets properly, so whenever I try to clean my own windscreen, I am making the windscreen of the chap behind me all smeary. fk me, I'm a dimboid."

You forgot "I'm a divot with more money than sense who buys that st expensive blue crap which doesn't work and smears like a bd, instead of using a wee squirt of washing up liquid which is not only enormously cheaper but does a much better job. I'm also thick enough to believe the fallacy that washing up liquid screws your car up without ever having even tried it, let alone kept a car for 20 years and never used anything but washing up liquid and thereby found out that it doesn't screw it up at all".

[jeff666]

Doofus said:

You know how, when you drive any distance at this time of year, your windscreen gets really smeary really quickly? And you know how you have to keep using your washer jets to clear it? And you know how that makes the water run out really quickly (and inconveniently)?

Well it would last a damn sight longer if you aimed your fking jets AT your fking windscreen instead of over the fking roof! Not only are you wasting most of your fking water but I'm having to use mine more fking quickly because only some of yours hits my fking windscreen, so when I wipe that off, it makes the dry bits of my screen fking smeary all over again!

It's not fking rocket science! Well it is, in that it's about fine tuning jets, but it isn't fking difficult! All you need is a fking pin, or something with a small prick on the end (yes, I'm looking at you!) and the teeniest bit of common fking sense!

fk st bks!

I think somebody needs to get laid,,,

[B'stard Child]

Pigeon said:

You forgot "I'm a divot with more money than sense who buys that st expensive blue crap which doesn't work and smears like a bd, instead of using a wee squirt of washing up liquid which is not only enormously cheaper but does a much better job. I'm also thick enough to believe the fallacy that washing up liquid screws your car up without ever having even tried it, let alone kept a car for 20 years and never used anything but washing up liquid and thereby found out that it doesn't screw it up at all".

Yes it's brilliant and cheap...... But it doesn't stop the bloody water freezing in the tank - that's how I ended up using both the blue crap and washing up liquid in order to end up with something that works!

Additional advantage is headlight power washers create wonderful bubbles which blow over the car and have lovely colours

Oh and 3/10 for the rant - too many fking repeats and an absence of understanding with regard to the washer jets big failure point - Set the washers up for 70 mph speed and they are perfect - less than 30 mph and the bloody things aim over the roof - What ever happened to the clever idea of ducting the water to the wiper blade where it's actually needed.....

Edited by B'stard Child on Monday 13th December 21:53

[robsco]

If you are receiving screenwash from the car in front OP, chances are that you're driving too close to the car in front, regardless of how poorly set up somebody's washer aim might be.

[pilchardthecat]

robsco said:

If you are receiving screenwash from the car in front OP, chances are that you're driving too close to the car in front, regardless of how poorly set up somebody's washer aim might be.

Also, when running low on screenwash, a single well-timed swipe from the wipers immediately after collecting someone's overspray can help extend one's minimal reserves.

[Larry Dickman]

Another tip. If you do run out of screen wash or in cases where the jets freeze rather than the screen wash & you are using road spray to clear your screen, don't have your heater adjusted so the heat is coming out of the screen vents straight on to the screen. This only heats your screen up so the spray dries quicker & smears more easily.

[Vidal Baboon]

I always like to guess the brand when following on my bike. Sometimes I can taste it