NEED HELP - Scared of my husband's driving
Discussion
I am hoping that you chaps at PH can help me with a delicate dilemma.
My husband has a TVR and likes to attend meets (including some of the Pistonhead ones). Thing is his driving really scares me silly. He is probably a very good driver, but I am not comfortable with going sideways round roundabouts or the back of the car "fishtailing" up the road.
I am terrified that we will end up in some ditch one day.
So how do I speak to him about it without causing a major row. You guys are very precious about your driving skills.
Thanks
Worried Wife
My husband has a TVR and likes to attend meets (including some of the Pistonhead ones). Thing is his driving really scares me silly. He is probably a very good driver, but I am not comfortable with going sideways round roundabouts or the back of the car "fishtailing" up the road.
I am terrified that we will end up in some ditch one day.
So how do I speak to him about it without causing a major row. You guys are very precious about your driving skills.
Thanks
Worried Wife
WorriedWife said:
I am hoping that you chaps at PH can help me with a delicate dilemma.
My husband has a TVR and likes to attend meets (including some of the Pistonhead ones). Thing is his driving really scares me silly. He is probably a very good driver, but I am not comfortable with going sideways round roundabouts or the back of the car "fishtailing" up the road.
I am terrified that we will end up in some ditch one day.
So how do I speak to him about it without causing a major row. You guys are very precious about your driving skills.
Thanks
Worried Wife
I'd imagine just asking him to take it easy with you in the car would suffice. I don't drive like a loony normally but I am extra docile in my driving style when either my mother is in the car or my grandparents as they don't like to be driven around in a frantic manner.My husband has a TVR and likes to attend meets (including some of the Pistonhead ones). Thing is his driving really scares me silly. He is probably a very good driver, but I am not comfortable with going sideways round roundabouts or the back of the car "fishtailing" up the road.
I am terrified that we will end up in some ditch one day.
So how do I speak to him about it without causing a major row. You guys are very precious about your driving skills.
Thanks
Worried Wife
If it bothers you just tell him, although I'm surprised he hasn't noticed the look of terror on your face by now
WorriedWife said:
LD1Racing said:
(is this a big wind-up for someone?)
No it is a genuine concern. Not sure I could afford a TVR.
ArtVandelay said:
I am extra docile in my driving style when either my mother is in the car or my grandparents as they don't like to be driven around in a frantic manner.
This is all I want. To be able to get from A to B without the additional stress. He drives our other car in the same way. Sometimes if we are going somewhere, I am sure he is late on purpose so that he can drive like a maniac to make up time.On a serious note, just ask him to be considerate when you are in the car. It's horrible being a bad passenger, and had one mate in my yoof who scared the bejeesus out of me by his really bad driving so I avoided passengering with him big time.
You could of course negotiate in the bedroom department? Additional days abstinence when he scares you, 'treats' when he drives more considerately
Oh my, I'd be 'drivin' Miss Daisy' all the time
You could of course negotiate in the bedroom department? Additional days abstinence when he scares you, 'treats' when he drives more considerately
Oh my, I'd be 'drivin' Miss Daisy' all the time
Sounds like an accident waiting to happen or losing his licence!How about buying him an advanced driving experience or membership of the IAM for Christmas?
When I say "advanced driving" I don't mean a track day hoon but something like the performance roadcraft coursese people like AIM or BSM used to run.
Might take more notice if a third party tells him he is not a considerate driver and will not look like you are saying that yourself - just giving him something that will enhance his enjoyment.
When I say "advanced driving" I don't mean a track day hoon but something like the performance roadcraft coursese people like AIM or BSM used to run.
Might take more notice if a third party tells him he is not a considerate driver and will not look like you are saying that yourself - just giving him something that will enhance his enjoyment.
Just a thought... but if he's a ph'er, ask him if he's heard of a guy called '10 pence short'. I'm on a phone at the 'mo so can't post a link, but if you do a quick search for the name and 'home detention curfew' or 'prison diary' you'll find it.
Sobering tale of how it can all go seriously tits up in a heartbeat. Certainly calmed me down behind the wheel.
Sobering tale of how it can all go seriously tits up in a heartbeat. Certainly calmed me down behind the wheel.
+1 for the 10 pence short epilogue, essentially a tale of a guy who thought he was a really great driver until he took someone out and off the road, locally we see cars upside down in ditches every few months, mostly nice sports cars for some reason 
gave the old man a lift once, noticed his knuckles were white from holding onto the grips around him, slowed down after that
never had the urge to go sideways round a roundabout, maybe one of the big ones on the motorway junctions, but if it is a small one in town, way to lose the licence if plod are watching
gave the old man a lift once, noticed his knuckles were white from holding onto the grips around him, slowed down after that
never had the urge to go sideways round a roundabout, maybe one of the big ones on the motorway junctions, but if it is a small one in town, way to lose the licence if plod are watching
Just f
kING tell him. It's not rocket science. If he can't respect your wishes then refuse to get in the car with him and withhold other privileges.
ETA: It's a respect thing. If my mum/wife/anyone tells me to slow down from 60 on a twisty A road then I do to make them feel safe and secure as I RESPECT their wishes and feelings. If he wont do that when you ask, he has no respect for you.
kING tell him. It's not rocket science. If he can't respect your wishes then refuse to get in the car with him and withhold other privileges. Pothole said:
Why do so many people come on here to ask about basic issues with their relationships? Does nobody have parents and friends/access to Jeremy Kyle?
^^^This.ETA: It's a respect thing. If my mum/wife/anyone tells me to slow down from 60 on a twisty A road then I do to make them feel safe and secure as I RESPECT their wishes and feelings. If he wont do that when you ask, he has no respect for you.
Edited by sklar on Tuesday 14th December 08:29
sklar said:
Just fkING tell him. It's not rocket science. If he can't respect your wishes then refuse to get in the car with him and withhold other privileges.
ETA: It's a respect thing. If my mum/wife/anyone tells me to slow down from 60 on a twisty A road then I do to make them feel safe and secure as I RESPECT their wishes and feelings. If he wont do that when you ask, he has no respect for you.
Is there really any need for a reply like that? I would think she already has told him, and perhaps got a bad reaction. As for the (conditional, admittedly) 'he doen't respect you' comment - lovely, nice, helpful. kING tell him. It's not rocket science. If he can't respect your wishes then refuse to get in the car with him and withhold other privileges. Pothole said:
Why do so many people come on here to ask about basic issues with their relationships? Does nobody have parents and friends/access to Jeremy Kyle?
^^^This.ETA: It's a respect thing. If my mum/wife/anyone tells me to slow down from 60 on a twisty A road then I do to make them feel safe and secure as I RESPECT their wishes and feelings. If he wont do that when you ask, he has no respect for you.
Edited by sklar on Tuesday 14th December 08:29
She's only asking for some help, call the dogs off.
Lots of really 'helpful' advice here...
The best is to buy him a driving course - A good one will soon disavow him of his belief in his driving God like abilities and make him think a bit more about how he drives on the roads.
Of course, there's the possibility that the OP is just a nervous passenger - I'm sure we've all had people sit in our cars and say "Ooooh, you like to drive fast" when you're doing no more than the speed limit. They're the same ones you find doing 40 on a 60 limited single lane A road....
Perhaps the OP is in that category and would benefit from a speed driving course themselves to lose some of their fear of speed in general.
As for withdrawing services in the bedroom, probably a great idea if you're looking for a divorce...
M.
The best is to buy him a driving course - A good one will soon disavow him of his belief in his driving God like abilities and make him think a bit more about how he drives on the roads.
Of course, there's the possibility that the OP is just a nervous passenger - I'm sure we've all had people sit in our cars and say "Ooooh, you like to drive fast" when you're doing no more than the speed limit. They're the same ones you find doing 40 on a 60 limited single lane A road....
Perhaps the OP is in that category and would benefit from a speed driving course themselves to lose some of their fear of speed in general.
As for withdrawing services in the bedroom, probably a great idea if you're looking for a divorce...
M.
Edited by marcosgt on Tuesday 14th December 08:46
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