Nocturnal Middle Lane Morons

[IROC-Z]

Disclaimer: This is a general observation on lane discipline, or the lack of, on our motorways. It’s not a rant, so please don’t feel obliged to provide a score based on my creative use of bad language because I’m not going to use any!

Recently I had cause to use the M4, M25 and M23 during the very early morning, and consequently encountered extremely light traffic. However, I was struck by the sheer number of cars cruising along a completely deserted motorway at or below the national speed limit whilst firmly planted in the middle lane. Middle Lane Morons, if you will......

Each of these I would approach in lane 1, signal and move out to lane 2, pause briefly behind them at a couple of car lengths (to give them a chance to wake up) before signalling and moving across to lane 3, overtaking, signalling back to lane 2 before signalling again and returning to lane 1. No silly cutting across their bows or passing on the inside, giving them plenty of space and using my indicators, and out of the maybe 15 or 20 offending cars I encountered, only one returned to lane 1 after I passed them.

At one point on the M23 I seemed to gain an unofficial wingman, who took it upon himself, whilst I was using the traditional method of overtaking using lane 3, to bomb down the inside of said Middle Lane Moron. Whilst I don’t condone his/her particular technique of attempting to improve awareness of correct lane discipline, I was baffled at how many people, having been passed on both sides by other cars, still cruised mindlessly along in the centre lane.

Some may argue that with such little traffic on the road they are not exactly inconveniencing anyone (except me and the increased wear on my indicator bulbs) but that’s probably how they drive all the time!

In short, mildly frustrating at 01:00hrs on the M4 Eastbound, thoroughly and totally enraging at peak times.

So my question is this; what do people actually think lane 1 is for? Do they think that the road planners decided to build an additional lane just for the fun of it? Am I unwittingly committing some social gaff by using Lane 1 whilst the fashionable thing to do is just sit there in the way with your mouth hanging open?

[Cock Womble 7]

IROC-Z said:

So my question is this; what do people actually think lane 1 is for? Do they think that the road planners decided to build an additional lane just for the fun of it? Am I unwittingly committing some social gaff by using Lane 1 whilst the fashionable thing to do is just sit there in the way with your mouth hanging open?

Lane one is the lane you get into when you're nearing your exit, silly.

[drakart]

Oh..... You mean the lorry lane?

Seriously though, it is really really annoying. Unfortunately there are a large pencentage of drivers that are braindead.

[4Q]

IROC-Z said:

what do people actually think lane 1 is for?

http://www.lum.co.uk/mloc/motorways.html

HTH

[AndyBrew]

The whole world drives in lanes 2 and 3, its because most people are oblivious to what lane discipline is, even when the big digital displays are saying "don't hog the middle lane" people still sit there I deduce from this they can't read either.

[Cock Womble 7]

4Q said:

IROC-Z said:

what do people actually think lane 1 is for?

http://www.lum.co.uk/mloc/motorways.html

HTH

[thinfourth2]

For those that do venture into lane 1 will know why MLM stay in lane 2

Lane 1 is normally like the surface of the moon.

Also if it is the middle of the night if you are in the middle lane you can go left or right should something appear

[FreeLitres]

3/10

[iva cosworth]

Passing on the left IS legal as long as you dont change lanes erratically

I do it ,in a HGV or car

[mblade123]

I see your lane 2 and raise you a lane 3.
Late last wed night on the M6 I had the fortune to see 2 of the idiots on seperate occasions in the outside lane.
There was nothing on the inside lanes for miles and both were doing less than the national speed limit.
Now normaly i'm a patient soul but on this just pissed me off.
So I did what any sensable person would do. I hooned up the outside lane and flashed the feckers till they shifted.

[Astra Dan]

IROC-Z said:

So my question is this; do people actually think?

No. No they don't. There's no thinking going on. At least not about driving. They're thinking about what to have for tea that night, or what's on telly. Or, "Ooh, look at that posh car passing me on the left..."

[edpurnell]

I also ecountered a nocturnal MLM on the M11 about 2 months ago. I was doing a speedo indicated 80 in lane 1, something was coming up rather fast in lane 3 a long way back. I thought twice about the undertake (well 3 or 4 times) then decided to move from 1 to 3 and back to 1 which I could safely do without inconveniencing Mr "Autobahn" in lane 3. Upon completion of my overtake I checked my mirrors to see Mr "Autobahn" put on his blue flashing lights and pull over MLM.
.
Great Policing IMHO

[Ben106]

there was a stupid bint in a mummys 4x4 doing 50MPH in the middle lane on the m6 the other day. She seemed really pissed off when everyone overtook her with lots of flahing lights and horns blearing

[vit4]

I often do early morning driving (Between 2 and 4am) on the A12 from Ipswich to London. I tend to stick to the middle lane where there's traffic for the simple reason that in many places lane 1 is so badly rutted and riddled with potholes that it leaves my car sounding like it's falling apart at 'late night' speeds. Easier to just stay in lane 2, and move over when someone's coming up. I expect I'm in the minority though, having a particularly rattly car

[Rich_W]

It's people in general. Go to your local swimming pool and you'll see the "slow" lane completly empty whilst people who can only just about swim clog up the "fast" lane.

Ignorant wkers the lot of them!

[Acheron]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKOJJzMDHjI

[legturbo]

vit4 said:

I often do early morning driving (Between 2 and 4am) on the A12 from Ipswich to London. I tend to stick to the middle lane where there's traffic for the simple reason that in many places lane 1 is so badly rutted and riddled with potholes that it leaves my car sounding like it's falling apart at 'late night' speeds. Easier to just stay in lane 2, and move over when someone's coming up. I expect I'm in the minority though, having a particularly rattly car

the difference is that you seem to be aware of other road users and happy to move across as not to inconvenience them as they approach you, which is fair enough.

i was traveling late at night the other day on an empty motorway doing around 80 leptons in the inside lane and at a junction a car joined and moved straight across me to the middle lane doing around 65. She seemed completely oblivious to me after i had to brake and near enough swerve around her via two lanes

[gareth.e]

In these circumstances I either Whoooosh indicating from first to third lane and then quickly across infront of them back to lane one.. they usually get get point.

On a two lane road i will either undertake (if I have to or its safe) or move from the first lane into the second lane when I'm near then drop back a bit and cruise behind them. They soon get the point.

First to third back to first lane fast indicated overtakes are the best.

Edit: oh and if there's 3 lanes + and they are going 60 in lane 3/4 I just woosh past without considering slowing down in the first lane.

Edited by gareth.e on Monday 9th May 22:15

[*Al*]

Lane 1 is the 'slow lane' built for lorries, car/caravan etc. This is why MLM probably use lane 2.

[Bonefish Blues]

Cock Womble 7 said:

Lane one is the lane you briefly pass through when you're scything across 2 lanes to get to your exit, silly.

You had it almost right