Rain with stuff in it... or worse
Rain with stuff in it... or worse
Author
Discussion

pilchardthecat

Original Poster:

7,483 posts

208 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
Washed the car yesterday. Now it's covered in zillions of little cruddy cirley marks like it's been hosed with dirty water or jizzed upon by a thousand tiny gnomes.

I don't believe it has rained here today (yet) so alarmingly the masturbating gnome theory is the most plausible.

I am considering hiding in some bushes to see if i can catch them "at it".... but before i do this i thought i'd see if anyone has a better explanation.

eldar

25,274 posts

225 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
Its onastic gnomes for sure. Is the car silver, they are attracted to that. Maybe replace it with a blue car, they are frightened of blue, so will keep away.

Zwoelf

25,867 posts

235 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
Limescale in your water.

anonymous-user

83 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
Buff it up. Gnome jizz makes all cars sparkle and adds 5-10 BHP. The only thing that beats Gnome jizz is Unicorn poo.

Edited by Breadvan73 on Monday 27th June 19:28

GAjon

4,084 posts

242 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
Breadvan73 said:
Buff it up. Gnome jizz makes all cars sparkle and adds 5-10 BHP. The only thing that beats Gnome jizz is Unicorn poo.

Edited by Breadvan73 on Monday 27th June 19:28
Yea but its against the law now, something to do with Elf & Safety.

anonymous-user

83 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
Boom tish!

GAjon

4,084 posts

242 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
I Thayank you.

pilchardthecat

Original Poster:

7,483 posts

208 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
eldar said:
Its onastic gnomes for sure. Is the car silver, they are attracted to that. Maybe replace it with a blue car, they are frightened of blue, so will keep away.
Hmm. It is blue, and yet it's splattered with gnome spunk. Perchance they are particularly bold gnomes.

Zwoelf

25,867 posts

235 months

Monday 27th June 2011
quotequote all
pilchardthecat said:
eldar said:
Its onastic gnomes for sure. Is the car silver, they are attracted to that. Maybe replace it with a blue car, they are frightened of blue, so will keep away.
Hmm. It is blue, and yet it's splattered with gnome spunk. Perchance they are particularly bold gnomes.
Smurfs then. Smurfette's evidently on holiday.