FFS This is what we have to share our roads with.
FFS This is what we have to share our roads with.
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F i F

Original Poster:

47,901 posts

274 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
Did I say FFS already?

The Telegraph is running a series of extracts from a book "Are we nearly there yet?" a book about a family tour of Britain in an Astra.

Aside: wonders which forum the mods will move this thread to?

Found this

extract about merging onto M42 said:
Normally I’m at the wheel because when Dinah drives she presses her face against the windscreen like Mr Magoo and cannot look round when you talk to her – or else she gets lost, swerves into somebody else’s lane or, scariest of all, tugs her hair while nervously chanting, "Concentrate, Dinah. Concentrate." But this morning she’s driving meaning it’s she who must merge onto the M42. Dinah’s merging panics her. Her merging panics me. If we’d know there was merging, I’d have driven.
She breathes in.
"Go for it."
She breathes out.
"Go for it," copies Phoebe, laughing in the back.
"Phoebe, Mummy’s merging so…"
And as I once, controversially, taught her, Phoebe crosses herself.
"Please, don’t make fun of me, Ben," says Dinah.
“PHOEBE!”
After several minutes stationary near the end of the slip-road being hooted at by other drivers, who swerve around us staring in to see who can be this incompetent, Dinah begins her mantra, "Concentrate, Dinah! Concentrate!"
I offer encouragement. "Remember, oncoming traffic doesn’t want to smash into you just as much as you don’t want to smash into it."
Dinah revs, releases the handbrake and edges forward, each time stopping because of some speck on the horizon. Finally, when she begins reversing, ‘because I need a run-up’, I yank on the handbrake. “It’s those lorry drivers who don’t give a s***,” she says, shuffling across to the passenger seat, as I reach her side. “They wouldn’t let me in. You saw them."
Did I say FFS already?

pilchardthecat

7,483 posts

202 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
Either it's exaggerated for dramatic effect (most likely) or they should have their license revoked.

so called

9,157 posts

232 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
vomit
I wouldnt let the kids in the car.

Edited by so called on Thursday 12th January 11:03

BoostMonkey

579 posts

208 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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OMG = That is all I can say.


CBR JGWRR

6,577 posts

172 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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She has a driving licence?

supertouring

2,228 posts

256 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
Why does this suprise you, I see this type of driver every day.

mackay45

832 posts

194 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
pilchardthecat said:
Either it's exaggerated for dramatic effect (most likely) or they should have their license revoked.
Agreed. If the author(s) of this book read this, custard test on your car stationary at the end of a motorway slip road.

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

175 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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Are, as said above, it is an exagerated version of events, as it is a book designed for publication and to sell through the use of humerous stories

kambites

70,720 posts

244 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
CBR JGWRR said:
She has a driving licence?
You don't need to go near a slip-road to get a driving licence...

so called

9,157 posts

232 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
Vocal Minority said:
Are, as said above, it is an exagerated version of events, as it is a book designed for publication and to sell through the use of humerous stories
Laughed, I nearly died.

CBR JGWRR

6,577 posts

172 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
kambites said:
CBR JGWRR said:
She has a driving licence?
You don't need to go near a slip-road to get a driving licence...
But still - a 125cc 4 stroke can get up to speed in a slip road from a standing start (If you like 11,000 rpm)
Definately from a rolling start of 20 odd. This is a vehicle where having breakfast noticably affects 0 to 60 time (A loaf of bread can easily add 0.2-0.5 seconds to a average start, dependant on position on the bike.)


Powerful car should have absolutely zero problem with getting up to speed, and even a basic Astra has a similar power to weight ratio to a little bike weighed down with all the stuff that either couldn't fit in the car, or I wanted to take myself.

Interesting technique for getting past trucks was required - slipstream for as long as possible, full racing tuck, mirror check, lifesaver, unleash all of its 12 bhp, after around 15-20 seconds, your past. Bit quicker if you time the pulling out to be just after a car conducting an overtake on the truck as well...

Lane one otherwise is quite relaxing.


(125cc motorcycles are a lot cheaper to insure in a city than a big bike, which meant the little four stroke stayed with me, and entailed either getting horrendously lost in the countryside, or a trip down a motorway. The second option was chosen so that I could slipstream my parents, and arrive at the same time.)

Although, you are correct that you don't need to go to a slip road to get a licence. You can still practice them - some dual carrigeways have slip roads etc.



Back on topic, if this is a genuine example of somebody's ability to join a motorway, then it isn't just bad, it is dangerous. For them, the people having to go round her, the people in the distance who don't know what she is doing...

Hopefully it is just an exageration.

jimxms

1,635 posts

183 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
CBR JGWRR said:
kambites said:
CBR JGWRR said:
She has a driving licence?
You don't need to go near a slip-road to get a driving licence...
But still - a 125cc 4 stroke can get up to speed in a slip road from a standing start (If you like 11,000 rpm)
Definately from a rolling start of 20 odd. This is a vehicle where having breakfast noticably affects 0 to 60 time (A loaf of bread can easily add 0.2-0.5 seconds to a average start, dependant on position on the bike.)
I'm lost. Where did the 125cc motorbike come from?

MarkRSi

5,782 posts

241 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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"Phoebe"

Is that some kind of Bacteria?

Maximum Bobs

3,762 posts

241 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
supertouring said:
Why does this suprise you, I see this type of driver every day.
I agree & think the story probably wasn't exaggerating at all.

CBR JGWRR

6,577 posts

172 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
jimxms said:
CBR JGWRR said:
kambites said:
CBR JGWRR said:
She has a driving licence?
You don't need to go near a slip-road to get a driving licence...
But still - a 125cc 4 stroke can get up to speed in a slip road from a standing start (If you like 11,000 rpm)
Definately from a rolling start of 20 odd. This is a vehicle where having breakfast noticably affects 0 to 60 time (A loaf of bread can easily add 0.2-0.5 seconds to a average start, dependant on position on the bike.)
I'm lost. Where did the 125cc motorbike come from?
125cc four strokes are exceedingly slow - the point is that any modern car will go faster in second or third than a 4 stroke is geared for in 6th, never mind actual top speed, which, if you have a fast one, is 75 odd.

A speeding ticket in a NSL is an achievement...

The do handle well, which in my mind, makes up for the lack of speed. That and the fuel costs, it managed 60-70 odd mpg in the above situation. (Considering that it needed around 9000 rpm to keep up with the truck to start with...)

After about 6 miles, I gave up overtaking trucks, and treated the rest of the journey as a fuel efficiency run, at 57/58 ish.



It was an example of a situation where getting up to speed is very difficult in comparison with the car used by the family in question, being an Astra.

It came from a real world situation where I had to join a fairly fast flowing motorway, from a short slip road.

bobbylondonuk

2,204 posts

213 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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If we tested motorway driving...a lot of people would not have licenses in the past 15-20 yrs.

Rawwr

22,722 posts

257 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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People who stop at the end of sliproads should be executed.

CBR JGWRR

6,577 posts

172 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
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bobbylondonuk said:
If we tested motorway driving...a lot of people would not have licenses in the past 15-20 yrs.
Isn't this exactly why we should test motorway driving?

new_bloke

453 posts

307 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
Rawwr said:
People who stop at the end of sliproads should be executed.
Not according to the book:

Driving on the motorway
259
Joining the motorway. When you join the motorway you will normally approach it from a road on the left (a slip road) or from an adjoining motorway. You should

  • give priority to traffic already on the motorway
  • check the traffic on the motorway and match your speed to fit safely into the traffic flow in the left-hand lane
  • not cross solid white lines that separate lanes or use the hard shoulder
  • stay on the slip road if it continues as an extra lane on the motorway
  • remain in the left-hand lane long enough to adjust to the speed of traffic before considering overtaking
So, if other traffic isn't courteous enough to change lanes to allow cars to join (or they can't), then you have to give way...

jesta1865

3,453 posts

232 months

Thursday 12th January 2012
quotequote all
this is the worst kind of plank on a slip road, but it still amazes me the amount of people who don't change or regulate their speed to merge. they stay at the speed they want and expect you to move over. hence why i had to brake hard the other night as a proton of some sort was coming out whether i liked it or not, irrespective of the fact 2 cars were passing me in the outside lane.

ibliviot smile