A little knowledge and a few tools...

[moronic]

Fresh with my new tool kit I decided today to take out the egr valve from my horrible 407 car. I read online it was a nice simple job, and that you could do it yourself. Being a nice innocent type I stupidly believed these people on the internet and set about completing the jobs myself. After about 4 hours I have managed to take the egr valve off and put if back on, there my success ends.

Sadly I have also managed to break a pipe for the coolant system, I've tried taking the rest of the pipe off but it appears that you cannot get to this without taking the engine out. Looks like I shall be taking this to a garage to fix.




It comes from the back of the engine, and I am told by my more talented uncle it may be part of my heating system... All I know is that I have a driveway covered in coolant.

I have also managed to break the fuel hose leading to the injectors.





This means that a car which did work, now doesnt. I don't even know what this part is called, and am sure it will be almost impossible to replace...

Finally to add insult to injury, I have managed to break a bolt which attaches a pipe to the turbo. I am not sure if this is serious, so will just leave it and hope for the best.

In total I have 4 bolts left over after putting the engine parts back together. I am not sure where they do and in reality I do not care anymore. I have had enough of motor mechanics to make me seriously consider getting a bycycle. Sorry for wasting your time, by encouraging you to read this dribble and look at my less than impressive photography.

Edited by moronic on Sunday 19th February 18:59

[SirSamuelOfBuca]

Lol bad luck mate sure someone will be along to point you In the ugly direction. Nothing worse than Breslin something that did work trying to fix a niggle.

[Wigeon Incognito]

That's an experience I had many times over before the 'experience' everyone bangs on about kicked in!

It's very satisfying when it does go right though.

[Rawwr]

When I saw the thread title, I thought this was going to be a summation of Pistonheads.

[TheEnd]

Wow, quite a result!

[juan king]

Your user name is quite apt.

We learn from our mistakes i suppose!

[Engineer1]

It's this effect that puts me off doing home mechanics, but if you have the nerve to try kudos, it's always easier when you can afford to pay a mechanic to repair your fk ups,

[miniman]

Oh dear, that's not gone well. Still, don't worry too much, it happens to the best of us.

Replace inlet manifold on Sunday:



Drive to work on Monday:



Lesson: reconnect high pressure fuel line securely.

[moronic]

Engineer1 said:

It's this effect that puts me off doing home mechanics, but if you have the nerve to try kudos, it's always easier when you can afford to pay a mechanic to repair your fk ups,

Well I'm not broke... But quite fancied being the type of bloke who can do practical things. I was on a high after getting compliments from the tart after I installed an outdoor light. Going to be a humiliating experience tomorrow, walking into a motorfactor or garage trying to explain I've taken my car to bits, broke some of it, but am not quite sure what the parts are!!!

[HustleRussell]

Don't be discouraged, those hands of cack aren't going to get better without practice. We've all been there.

[HustleRussell]

Oh and also you'll learn twice as fast if you fix your own fk-ups.

[LordHaveMurci]

Not just me then!

[vrooom]

wtf ? why it is so hard to remove the bolt ?

[moronic]

vrooom said:

wtf ? why it is so hard to remove the bolt ?

What bolt? I'm quite accomplished in removing bolts... I just manage to damage and lose stuff as I do so.

[Riknos]

I'm the same. Today, I decided to replace an earth strap on the bottom of my car. It took 2 hours. Why? Because I snapped the bolt in half so tried to angle grind / drill it out etc. In the end my brother drilled a new, massive hole, for it to go through

Old cars and rusty bits. My suspension change took 9 hours. Starter motor about 3/4...

[bencollins]

vrooom said:

wtf ? why it is so hard to remove the bolt ?

A question i have asked (rhetorically obviously) many times.
In the end you wish for triangular bolt heads / nuts.
Somehow steel goes into round-easily-mode below 5dg, conversely skin goes into easy slicing mode around sub 8dg.
Once you realise life IS against you, it makes everything easier to accept.

[MrC986]

FWIW, I always have an 'able friend' as an accomplice or close at hand when I have tried such things....my old man was a mechanic but his inherent DNA has clearly jumped a generation! OP it can happen to anyone. Other than your pride/wallet there is no harm done & just make sure SWMBO doesnt regale your friends of the story after a few sherries

[plenty]

Some wisdom on this thread. I feel for you OP...few things are more painful than the frustration of a spannering task gone wrong.

[dabofoppo]

I changed a drop link on thursday it took 2 hours to undo two nuts. and in the next few days im replacing two dampers a handbrake cable two wheel bearings(a garage might be doing this instead) and suspension top mounts.

[RobCrezz]

MrC986 said:

FWIW, I always have an 'able friend' as an accomplice or close at hand when I have tried such things....my old man was a mechanic but his inherent DNA has clearly jumped a generation! OP it can happen to anyone. Other than your pride/wallet there is no harm done & just make sure SWMBO doesnt regale your friends of the story after a few sherries

I agree, if you are tackling something that you haven't done before get a friend who has experience to help.