Ten years of PH
Discussion
It's my tenth birthday today!
Ten years ago today my internet persona was born, right here on PH. Born with the rank of Captain, which is rare. It all started because someone sent me a link to someone being wrong on the internet and armed with nothing more than Google I signed up to fight stupidity.
Since then I've wasted hundreds of hours getting angry because people are stupid, hundreds more hours laughing because people are funny and thousands of hours staring a pictures of cars I want but can't afford, or have nowhere to park.
I've also met PHers in real life: some of you are actually amazing. I've had some of the best days of my life with people I know through PH.
So what is the point of this post, other than to try to guilt the faceless suits in to sending me a birthday cake? Well I thought I'd review some of the PHy things I've done over the last ten years since signing up (if you can't be self indulgent on your birthday then when can you be?), the list is quite a bit longer than I thought it would be...
I've driven: 911 GT3, Carrera2, 968, Elise R, Elise SC, Evora, Evora S, Europa SE, Ferrari F360, 400bhp Toyota Mark2, 350bhp Nissan Silvia, 350bhp mid-engined Nissan Micra, AE86, E30 M3, M3 CSL. E92 M3, Z4C, military spec Hummer, FV510 Warrior, two articulated trucks, some other, duller, things, and of course the twelve cars I've owned since joining.
I've ridden: MV Augusta F4, Ducati 798, KTM 525, RVF, CBR600RR and some mental off road stuff, including a trials bike which I spent a happy day learning how to slide around on until I hit a tree with my face. And also my bikes.
I've been round 5 car factories, from hand built to fully robotised.
I've driven to and round the Nurburgring in a £600 535i for a magazine article.
I've passed a track based interview for a track driving instructor job.
I've been dropped off the back of a convoy on public roads because I wouldn't do more than 120mph (I fell so far behind I lost radio contact).
I've jumped a humpback bridge.
I've taken pictures of other people driving things for magazines.
I've deliberately failed an interview to design motorbikes (second interview
- I passed the first one).
I've given public lectures on automotive engineering.
I've jumped from car to car, three cars up on a scrap yard stack.
I've driven 3 miles on the M25 with no hands.
I've parallel parked a military spec Hummer on a busy city street.
I've been driven round a track by a man who couldn't walk, yet he was a much better driver than I am.
I've towed cars for miles behind a Defender through blizzards.
I've driven 400 miles in a day in a BMW without indicating once, just to see if the cliché works.
I've covered more than a mile in a single journey in a gravity powered car.
I've cycled to work for 6 months because my entire three car fleet was broken for that long.
I've driven a car that was literally on fire.
I've had pictures of my cars in magazines, and articles written about them.
I've thrown a Haribo fried egg out of my window and in through the sunroof of the Volvo in front of me, hitting the driver on the head, on a motorway, in Belgium.
I've lapped Silverstone, Donington, Indianapolis, Nurburgring, Lydden Hill, Llandow, Snetterton (including a world record), Teeside, Lydd and loads of airfield tracks.
I've been employed to teach people how to drift.
I've done a track day on a bike, in February, in the wet, and didn't die.
I've driven into a pub.
I've done clutch changes, on my own, on gravel.
I've slid across the bonnet of a car to get to the other side.
I've been in a classic Camero that shifted to reverse gear at 40mph.
I've woken up underneath a four post ramp with a splitting headache wondering where I am.
I've hosted a drink-drive party using a playstation, some bucket seats and many beers.
I've made rocket powered model cars, and ramps, and jumped over real cars.
I've driven cars worth more than my house.
I've driven cars worth less than the petrol in the tank.
I've been pit crew for race winning race teams and drifters (mostly tyre changes, surprisingly).
I've done an indicated 120mph in a Chevy Impala in a car park in Indiana.
I've been caught speeding twice.
I've fixed crash damage with a drill and cable ties.
I've been driven by BTCC and F1 drivers, on road and track.
I've watched MotoGP from the pit lane.
...and all of that for free, which was nice.
I've also built my own car (MX5 turbo, coil-overs, home made cage, home made carbon panels, etc - ten page build thread on DriftWorks).
I've done some engine swaps (including V8s into Volvo Amazon and RX7).
I've competed as a sponsored driver in three seasons of national level drifting championships.
I've owned 2 RX7s and had them both rust to nothing before the engines went pop.
I've painted a car a new colour, in a field, with rattle cans, on the way home from the paint shop.
I've bought a car for cash in an unlit trading estate at night in the rain.
I've been in my car when it's been crashed by people I trusted to drive it.
I've built the most locktastic hydraulic handbrake system ever fitted to an
MX5 (complete with AP twin pot calipers, remote mounted master cylinder and a massive lever).
I've was one of four passengers in a Finnish taxi when the driver drove sideways across a four lane crossroads, in snow, one-handed because he was entering our hotel in the satnav while turning left.
I've driven for 5 miles in a car which I'd fitted with a radiator bypass pipe instead of a radiator, for reasons relating to the AA and certain policies they have towards recovery of crash damaged cars on race tracks.
I've won at autotests.
I've drifted on the lockstops at a radar verified 70mph, over and over again.
I've used a £50 320i as my daily commuter for two years.
I've used a £12k car as a driveway ornament for months.
I've paid a driver to compete in my car at a drift competition.
I've seen that driver stuff my car in the gravel trap at Silverstone. Three times. On the first lap.
I've suffered from total brake failure while driving someone else's car.
I've bought a car and track time for some friends so they could muck about in a car for free.
I've owned nearly 4 of the cars in my ten-car dream garage (a 535 isn't so different from a 635 is it?)
...all of which was more expensive than I though it would be (except the bit about the 320i, which I never serviced and sold for a profit, despite it having caught fire twice and having "I pimp your sister" keyed in to the paint down one side).
It seems like that's a lot of stuff I've done in ten years. Frankly now I've written it all down I'm a bit stuck to imagine what I'll do next.
Other than the Mustang based road trip across the US I just paid for.
And the 100mph corner I'm currently preparing my car for drifting round.
And the many, many cars and bikes I want to buy, just as soon as I have money and space to keep them.
I'm not saying that all of those things are down to the influence PH has had on my life, but certainly not all of those things would have happened if I hadn't signed up. So thanks PH.
Feel free to suggest something new and exciting to try, or just quote your favourite thing from the list and give me a ROFL (I live for ROFLs), and I promise I won't do another thread like this until I turn sixteen.
Thanks,
Muppet, Cptn, aged 10.
Thanks to nervous, for help with many things on the list, and to Garlick for sorting out my recent problem
Ten years ago today my internet persona was born, right here on PH. Born with the rank of Captain, which is rare. It all started because someone sent me a link to someone being wrong on the internet and armed with nothing more than Google I signed up to fight stupidity.
Since then I've wasted hundreds of hours getting angry because people are stupid, hundreds more hours laughing because people are funny and thousands of hours staring a pictures of cars I want but can't afford, or have nowhere to park.
I've also met PHers in real life: some of you are actually amazing. I've had some of the best days of my life with people I know through PH.
So what is the point of this post, other than to try to guilt the faceless suits in to sending me a birthday cake? Well I thought I'd review some of the PHy things I've done over the last ten years since signing up (if you can't be self indulgent on your birthday then when can you be?), the list is quite a bit longer than I thought it would be...
I've driven: 911 GT3, Carrera2, 968, Elise R, Elise SC, Evora, Evora S, Europa SE, Ferrari F360, 400bhp Toyota Mark2, 350bhp Nissan Silvia, 350bhp mid-engined Nissan Micra, AE86, E30 M3, M3 CSL. E92 M3, Z4C, military spec Hummer, FV510 Warrior, two articulated trucks, some other, duller, things, and of course the twelve cars I've owned since joining.
I've ridden: MV Augusta F4, Ducati 798, KTM 525, RVF, CBR600RR and some mental off road stuff, including a trials bike which I spent a happy day learning how to slide around on until I hit a tree with my face. And also my bikes.
I've been round 5 car factories, from hand built to fully robotised.
I've driven to and round the Nurburgring in a £600 535i for a magazine article.
I've passed a track based interview for a track driving instructor job.
I've been dropped off the back of a convoy on public roads because I wouldn't do more than 120mph (I fell so far behind I lost radio contact).
I've jumped a humpback bridge.
I've taken pictures of other people driving things for magazines.
I've deliberately failed an interview to design motorbikes (second interview
- I passed the first one).
I've given public lectures on automotive engineering.
I've jumped from car to car, three cars up on a scrap yard stack.
I've driven 3 miles on the M25 with no hands.
I've parallel parked a military spec Hummer on a busy city street.
I've been driven round a track by a man who couldn't walk, yet he was a much better driver than I am.
I've towed cars for miles behind a Defender through blizzards.
I've driven 400 miles in a day in a BMW without indicating once, just to see if the cliché works.
I've covered more than a mile in a single journey in a gravity powered car.
I've cycled to work for 6 months because my entire three car fleet was broken for that long.
I've driven a car that was literally on fire.
I've had pictures of my cars in magazines, and articles written about them.
I've thrown a Haribo fried egg out of my window and in through the sunroof of the Volvo in front of me, hitting the driver on the head, on a motorway, in Belgium.
I've lapped Silverstone, Donington, Indianapolis, Nurburgring, Lydden Hill, Llandow, Snetterton (including a world record), Teeside, Lydd and loads of airfield tracks.
I've been employed to teach people how to drift.
I've done a track day on a bike, in February, in the wet, and didn't die.
I've driven into a pub.
I've done clutch changes, on my own, on gravel.
I've slid across the bonnet of a car to get to the other side.
I've been in a classic Camero that shifted to reverse gear at 40mph.
I've woken up underneath a four post ramp with a splitting headache wondering where I am.
I've hosted a drink-drive party using a playstation, some bucket seats and many beers.
I've made rocket powered model cars, and ramps, and jumped over real cars.
I've driven cars worth more than my house.
I've driven cars worth less than the petrol in the tank.
I've been pit crew for race winning race teams and drifters (mostly tyre changes, surprisingly).
I've done an indicated 120mph in a Chevy Impala in a car park in Indiana.
I've been caught speeding twice.
I've fixed crash damage with a drill and cable ties.
I've been driven by BTCC and F1 drivers, on road and track.
I've watched MotoGP from the pit lane.
...and all of that for free, which was nice.
I've also built my own car (MX5 turbo, coil-overs, home made cage, home made carbon panels, etc - ten page build thread on DriftWorks).
I've done some engine swaps (including V8s into Volvo Amazon and RX7).
I've competed as a sponsored driver in three seasons of national level drifting championships.
I've owned 2 RX7s and had them both rust to nothing before the engines went pop.
I've painted a car a new colour, in a field, with rattle cans, on the way home from the paint shop.
I've bought a car for cash in an unlit trading estate at night in the rain.
I've been in my car when it's been crashed by people I trusted to drive it.
I've built the most locktastic hydraulic handbrake system ever fitted to an
MX5 (complete with AP twin pot calipers, remote mounted master cylinder and a massive lever).
I've was one of four passengers in a Finnish taxi when the driver drove sideways across a four lane crossroads, in snow, one-handed because he was entering our hotel in the satnav while turning left.
I've driven for 5 miles in a car which I'd fitted with a radiator bypass pipe instead of a radiator, for reasons relating to the AA and certain policies they have towards recovery of crash damaged cars on race tracks.
I've won at autotests.
I've drifted on the lockstops at a radar verified 70mph, over and over again.
I've used a £50 320i as my daily commuter for two years.
I've used a £12k car as a driveway ornament for months.
I've paid a driver to compete in my car at a drift competition.
I've seen that driver stuff my car in the gravel trap at Silverstone. Three times. On the first lap.
I've suffered from total brake failure while driving someone else's car.
I've bought a car and track time for some friends so they could muck about in a car for free.
I've owned nearly 4 of the cars in my ten-car dream garage (a 535 isn't so different from a 635 is it?)
...all of which was more expensive than I though it would be (except the bit about the 320i, which I never serviced and sold for a profit, despite it having caught fire twice and having "I pimp your sister" keyed in to the paint down one side).
It seems like that's a lot of stuff I've done in ten years. Frankly now I've written it all down I'm a bit stuck to imagine what I'll do next.
Other than the Mustang based road trip across the US I just paid for.
And the 100mph corner I'm currently preparing my car for drifting round.
And the many, many cars and bikes I want to buy, just as soon as I have money and space to keep them.
I'm not saying that all of those things are down to the influence PH has had on my life, but certainly not all of those things would have happened if I hadn't signed up. So thanks PH.
Feel free to suggest something new and exciting to try, or just quote your favourite thing from the list and give me a ROFL (I live for ROFLs), and I promise I won't do another thread like this until I turn sixteen.
Thanks,
Muppet, Cptn, aged 10.
Thanks to nervous, for help with many things on the list, and to Garlick for sorting out my recent problem
crofty1984 said:
Captain Muppet said:
jon- said:
I like you.
I've been warned about this on the internet.Just to make it clear - I'm not actually a ten year old.
Just for that. And the bypass pipe story.
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