Probably wasnt really said but it is a goody!!!!
Probably wasnt really said but it is a goody!!!!
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smashy

Original Poster:

3,108 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
WINDOWS VS FORD
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

11. What a bunch of up your own ar ses some people are on here

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!




Edited by smashy on Wednesday 11th April 14:25

Moley RUFC

3,661 posts

210 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Are you Jim Bowen?

GBDG

896 posts

175 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
FORD TEAMS UP WITH MICROSOFT TO DELIVER SYNC; IN-CAR DIGITAL SYSTEM EXCLUSIVE TO FORD

http://media.ford.com/article_display.cfm?article_...

I'm almost certain this joke is older than I am.

mnkiboy

4,409 posts

187 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
I'm pretty sure I read that about 15 years ago. In fact, it's probably the first email I ever received.

edit: Actually, in the past 15 years, number 10 on that list has come true.

ali4390

2,373 posts

186 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
mnkiboy said:
I'm pretty sure I read that about 15 years ago. In fact, it's probably the first email I ever received.

edit: Actually, in the past 15 years, number 10 on that list has come true.
hehe Good point, I missed that!!

CampDavid

9,145 posts

219 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
It's circa 1995, though I thought it was GM that released it. Anyway, I was still on compuserve when I got it smile

XitUp

7,690 posts

225 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Did your nan send you that?

smashy

Original Poster:

3,108 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
XitUp said:
Did your nan send you that?
... cant believe how many posts you have made on here ,try and get out more,have you a life apart from this?

BorkFactor

7,278 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
I saw it on another thread for the first time recently, although I am sure it was GM instead of Ford?

Still found it funny though hehe

LuS1fer

43,094 posts

266 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Where did Point 11 come from?

Deluded

4,968 posts

212 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
smashy said:
... cant believe how many posts you have made on here ,try and get out more,have you a life apart from this?
No need to get arsey. You have posted something that has probably been posted on here before 200 times and is as old as the internet itself.

smashy

Original Poster:

3,108 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Moley RUFC said:
Are you Jim Bowen?
Are you Jim Bowen what?

Are you dreaming of being that Bronzed mullet bloke from Bristol?

XitUp

7,690 posts

225 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Oops, I think I made him cry.

Maybe you could post a gif of a dancing baby or a flying toaster and people will think you're cool again.

smashy

Original Poster:

3,108 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
XitUp said:
Oops, I think I made him cry.

Maybe you could post a gif of a dancing baby or a flying toaster and people will think you're cool again.
7000 + posts ,sad man.

Im off out,dont forget to put your takeaway Pizza box in the bin.

BRMMA

1,892 posts

193 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
I had seen it before, but it's still pretty funny in parts.

(I know that makes me really uncool and what i should have done was given the OP some abuse)

CampDavid

9,145 posts

219 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
XitUp said:
Oops, I think I made him cry.

Maybe you could post a gif of a dancing baby or a flying toaster and people will think you're cool again.
To be honest, he has a point, you do come accross as a bit of an internet hardman

Sir Bagalot

6,857 posts

202 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Welcome to the Interweb biggrin

Moley RUFC

3,661 posts

210 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
smashy said:
Are you Jim Bowen what?

Are you dreaming of being that Bronzed mullet bloke from Bristol?
I asked as I'm sure he wrote that 'joke' 15 years ago

Eighteeteewhy

7,259 posts

189 months

Wednesday 11th April 2012
quotequote all
Oooh handbags all round. biggrin

TheEnd

15,370 posts

209 months