Borkus Minimus
Author
Discussion

Motorrad

Original Poster:

6,811 posts

207 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
A potentially impossible question but which car wins the PH award for minimal bork potential?

Fuel is irrelevant.

Age likewise.

As is cost.

Let's assume good condition, full/mostly full service history and reasonable (for the age) mileage.

My only thoughts are Micra K10/11. Surely someone can do better than that?

I'm talking UK market only otherwise I'd have something with a modular 4.6 V8 in the list as they seem indestructable.

Charlie Michael

2,753 posts

204 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Maybe i'm having a rather special day today, but i'll ask the same question for the second time...

What on earth is bork?

Do you mean a car that makes you sick? Do you mean a car that handles well? I genuinely have no idea what you mean... hehe

Codswallop

5,256 posts

214 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
mk1 mx5 getmecoat

tbf, it has a non-interferance engine, simple, robust mechanicals in a lightweight body and few electric bits and bobs to go wrong. Rust is the major issue.

Motorrad

Original Poster:

6,811 posts

207 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
It's a term I picked up on here. It's PH speak for 'fked' ie serious wallet raping problems.

Charlie Michael

2,753 posts

204 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Ahhh, ok. Thanks for clarifying - was a tad lost there...

My suggestion then would be something boring and Hondaish - Possibly a Jazz?

Motorrad

Original Poster:

6,811 posts

207 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Another candidate would be something VAG, non turbo with the 1.9 engine.

Of course most cars with this are now fked (biggrin) through mileage or non-service abuse......


Likewise the Pug 1.9 diesels.

I'm struggling to think of anything modern except maybe a Hyundai of some sort backed up with the 7yr warranty or maybe a base model petrol Panda with nothing that can go wrong.

Puddenchucker

5,266 posts

238 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
A few that spring to mind:

A mid 90s Toyota Corolla

Mercedes E Class (W123)

and perhaps a Volvo 244

vit4

3,507 posts

190 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Early '90s Landcruiser shirley?

Stick Legs

8,047 posts

185 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
My old 1999 Volvo S40 1.8SE is a good candidate. NOTHING broke, only ever carried out routine servicing in over 50000 miles of driving. Now resides with my sister in law. Still running, still amazes me how it does it, even the AirCon works!

Timberwolf

5,374 posts

238 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
A mate of mine tried this in real life (with plenty of useful knowledge as to what the farmers where he grew up used as farm cars) and after some small cars eventually settled on the mid-'90s Nissan Primera as the type of car that could be most relied upon to just keep going. Although apparently well-engineered enough that when you do hit the end of the design life, every single thing on the car fails at once, finishing with it collapsing on the road in fine cartoon style where the sills have rotted through at the exact point of total mechanical failure.

Back in its day the old Mk2 VW Polo was good for a combination of having nothing much on it to go wrong, all of what was fitted being ultra-reliable, and anything that does happen being cheap to fix and in all probability DIY-able by a total novice. They don't tend to rot anywhere structural either. They're all probably far too old now, though.

MX-5s are mechanically unburstable and great fun but rusting is about their fastest performance figure; I suppose if you have access to welding, plenty of patience and a big pot of underseal they'd be a good choice. Similarly with old Volvos. They do roll on forever but you'll need to be a master electrician if you want anything but basic motion in most of the gears out of one. (IMO the 850s are more unkillable than the RWD ones, although even they have their foibles, particularly aircon evaporators.)

Finally a surprise: Vauxhall Omega V6. Massive bork potential up to and including catastrophic early failure of the cambelt, but I ran mine for three and a half years and an unfair amount of abuse without developing any problem that didn't, Christine-like, mysteriously fix itself within about 50 miles of driving.

The Moose

23,499 posts

229 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
vit4 said:
Early '90s Landcruiser shirley?
Certain bits on those can be a little dear though - for example if you need a front axle...after jumping the car...landing on the front end...in a rally raid race in Russia...for the 8th or 9th time that day wink

We've gone through one or two axles hehe

J4CKO

45,371 posts

220 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Plenty of Aygos and their ilk on 150k plus apparently.

markbuck14

65 posts

167 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Stick Legs said:
My old 1999 Volvo S40 1.8SE is a good candidate. NOTHING broke, only ever carried out routine servicing in over 50000 miles of driving. Now resides with my sister in law. Still running, still amazes me how it does it, even the AirCon works!
+1 My sister bought one of these after her company at the time refused to supply her with yet another car. She was killing them at an alarming rate. The volvo on the other hand keeps coming back for more. 1.6 S40 160k of utter utter neglect and abuse and it will not die...

lescombes

968 posts

230 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
+1 for K11 Micra, Primera and another one that gets ditched before it breaks.... Protons..seriously and I say Proton..s.. Must say my Mazda has been good too....only usual consumables gone..

McHaggis

56,819 posts

175 months

Monday 18th June 2012
quotequote all
Just look at what your local taxi drivers use, or any taxi firm doing airport runs.

The Mondeos and Skoda diesels seem popular.

k-ink

9,070 posts

199 months

Tuesday 19th June 2012
quotequote all
Lexus.

The End.

CraigyMc

18,042 posts

256 months

Tuesday 19th June 2012
quotequote all
Charlie Michael said:
Honda Jazz
/thread.

The Wookie

14,180 posts

248 months

Tuesday 19th June 2012
quotequote all
Got to be a Peugeot 106 non-turbo diesel. Once various bits of trim have fallen off it'll still run on turpentine and be fixable with a hammer (or alternatively a suitably past-it baguette)