A totally different version of events
Discussion
Dear all, I refer to the following thread:
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
I am jimnicebutdim's ex fiancée and, whilst I am not suprised he has posted on here about our break up, I am aghast at the lies that have been told about me. I would also like to take this opportunity to seek some advice.
James (Jim) and I had been together for a year when I gave up my job, said goodbye to my family, and uprooted and moved down to Hampshire from Hereford to live with him. We had a very loving relationship and I really thought our relationship was inpenetrable. On 19 January this year, on my 35th birthday, James proposed to me and I accepted. As the year wore on we made plans to wed in Malta late 2013 and start a family. Around April time, James began to be distant and became very secretive with his phone. I had a bad feeling about his sudden change in behaviour, but around that time had received the devastating news that my nan was dying of uterine cancer.
On 25 May this year, whilst I sat holding her hand, my nan finally lost her battle with cancer. James appeared to be very supportive, but continued to be quite distant. One week later, on 01 June, I dropped James off at work and ten minutes later, I was involved in a serious car accident. The following Wednesday, 06 June (and just two days before my Nan's funeral), I received two text messages at work from James that he had clearly meant to sent to another woman. The first message read, "You have a lovely bum, do you mind if I stroke it?" This message was followed in quick succession by another message which read, "Listening to you handover, I want to bend you over a trolley and **** you." In that moment, my entire life fell apart and I cannot adequately convey my overall sense of loss during those 12 days. I had suspected James was having an affair prior to receiving these text but, when questioned, he'd vehemently denied it. He even lied on his kids' lives.
That evening, on his return from work, he showed a lot of remorse and told me he wanted to put things right between us and asked if we could go for counselling. I stupidly agreed because, at that point, he'd sworn blind that he'd only kissed the other woman.
During the ensuing weeks, he'd continued to have a relationship with me but also have a relationship with the other woman. I found out he'd told her that we were in separate rooms, which simply was not true. He was cheating on me and similtaneously cheating on his new girlfriend.
On 25 June I'd finally had enough of his duplicity and when he tried to get me to go to bed with him, I pushed him away. He responded by punching the tiles in the bathroom in a fit of childish temper. Later that evening, whilst on a road shift, he left a designated standby point and came home, after convincing himself I must be in a new relationship and must have had the "new man" round the house. I was in bed asleep and was woken suddenly when the bedroom door burst open and he began shouting obscenities at me. He started removing my clothes from the wardrobe and throwing them down the stairs. As I reached the top of the stairs and tried to stop him, there was a struggle and I fell to the bottom of the stairs. He then called for assistance whilst frantically picking up the clothes strewn all around me - essentially clearing the scene of the crime. I was dazed and confused and was thus unable to give attending Paramedics or Police Officers any account of what had happened and the one and only account I gave Police was following my discharge from hospital the following day. At no point did I change my story and only gave the truth. At no point did I contact his new girlfriend asking for a lift back from the hospital - I would rather feed myself to the sharks!
I never had another man round to the house, but, contrary to what James had posted on his thread, he brought his girlfriend round to the house several times and I was forced to watch them kissing and caressing on my driveway. When I complained about his lack of sensitivity, I was told I shouldn't have been looking out of the window (yes, I know...unbelievable!)
When James had the affair, he threw away everything we had. Our home, our happiness, our future, the kids' security...all for a woman who dropped her knickers outside a burger van on the top of Portsdown Hill (yes, he told me that where they "did it"). He conducted his sordid affair whilst my beloved Nan was dying, but has told friends and colleagues that I was not with my Nan, I was with my ex and merely using my Nan's illness as an excuse to get away. That is a shameful lie.
Prior to the fall down the stairs, I took what monies were in the account, knowing that I had no job or home to go to and needed every penny to see me through until I could rebuild my life again. However, out of the £1,450 I withdrew from the joint account, I gave his ex wife nearly £300 to see her through until James's next pay day, as despite what had gone on between us, I would never have let my stepchildren be deprived. I took the furniture and all the pots and pan that I had bought prior to us moving in together. Contrary to what James has claimed in his thread, I did not take the car, since there was no car to take. The only car we had between us, which my parents had bought for me, was written off in my total-loss collision on 01 June.
It's one thing to destroy my happiness and force me out of my home and job, but it's quite another to conduct this smear campaign against me. I did not contact his ex wife or his girlfriend's ex partner - they both contacted me. His wife informed me, to my absolute horror, that he has a Police Caution for domestic abuse/harassment following their split.
Understandably, I wish to sever all ties with him. However, we still have two joint bank accounts and all attempts hitherto to sever/remove my name from those accounts have proven fruitless. I wrote off to Barclays HQ, as advised by own branch, but they have failed to remove my name from the accounts. I have asked James to agree to me removing my name from the account, but he has made it abundantly clear he is not going to do this. Can anyone please tell me how I go about getting my name taken off these accounts, thereby severing ties with my ex forever?
Many thanks for allowing me to give my side of the story.
ZZ.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
I am jimnicebutdim's ex fiancée and, whilst I am not suprised he has posted on here about our break up, I am aghast at the lies that have been told about me. I would also like to take this opportunity to seek some advice.
James (Jim) and I had been together for a year when I gave up my job, said goodbye to my family, and uprooted and moved down to Hampshire from Hereford to live with him. We had a very loving relationship and I really thought our relationship was inpenetrable. On 19 January this year, on my 35th birthday, James proposed to me and I accepted. As the year wore on we made plans to wed in Malta late 2013 and start a family. Around April time, James began to be distant and became very secretive with his phone. I had a bad feeling about his sudden change in behaviour, but around that time had received the devastating news that my nan was dying of uterine cancer.
On 25 May this year, whilst I sat holding her hand, my nan finally lost her battle with cancer. James appeared to be very supportive, but continued to be quite distant. One week later, on 01 June, I dropped James off at work and ten minutes later, I was involved in a serious car accident. The following Wednesday, 06 June (and just two days before my Nan's funeral), I received two text messages at work from James that he had clearly meant to sent to another woman. The first message read, "You have a lovely bum, do you mind if I stroke it?" This message was followed in quick succession by another message which read, "Listening to you handover, I want to bend you over a trolley and **** you." In that moment, my entire life fell apart and I cannot adequately convey my overall sense of loss during those 12 days. I had suspected James was having an affair prior to receiving these text but, when questioned, he'd vehemently denied it. He even lied on his kids' lives.
That evening, on his return from work, he showed a lot of remorse and told me he wanted to put things right between us and asked if we could go for counselling. I stupidly agreed because, at that point, he'd sworn blind that he'd only kissed the other woman.
During the ensuing weeks, he'd continued to have a relationship with me but also have a relationship with the other woman. I found out he'd told her that we were in separate rooms, which simply was not true. He was cheating on me and similtaneously cheating on his new girlfriend.
On 25 June I'd finally had enough of his duplicity and when he tried to get me to go to bed with him, I pushed him away. He responded by punching the tiles in the bathroom in a fit of childish temper. Later that evening, whilst on a road shift, he left a designated standby point and came home, after convincing himself I must be in a new relationship and must have had the "new man" round the house. I was in bed asleep and was woken suddenly when the bedroom door burst open and he began shouting obscenities at me. He started removing my clothes from the wardrobe and throwing them down the stairs. As I reached the top of the stairs and tried to stop him, there was a struggle and I fell to the bottom of the stairs. He then called for assistance whilst frantically picking up the clothes strewn all around me - essentially clearing the scene of the crime. I was dazed and confused and was thus unable to give attending Paramedics or Police Officers any account of what had happened and the one and only account I gave Police was following my discharge from hospital the following day. At no point did I change my story and only gave the truth. At no point did I contact his new girlfriend asking for a lift back from the hospital - I would rather feed myself to the sharks!
I never had another man round to the house, but, contrary to what James had posted on his thread, he brought his girlfriend round to the house several times and I was forced to watch them kissing and caressing on my driveway. When I complained about his lack of sensitivity, I was told I shouldn't have been looking out of the window (yes, I know...unbelievable!)
When James had the affair, he threw away everything we had. Our home, our happiness, our future, the kids' security...all for a woman who dropped her knickers outside a burger van on the top of Portsdown Hill (yes, he told me that where they "did it"). He conducted his sordid affair whilst my beloved Nan was dying, but has told friends and colleagues that I was not with my Nan, I was with my ex and merely using my Nan's illness as an excuse to get away. That is a shameful lie.
Prior to the fall down the stairs, I took what monies were in the account, knowing that I had no job or home to go to and needed every penny to see me through until I could rebuild my life again. However, out of the £1,450 I withdrew from the joint account, I gave his ex wife nearly £300 to see her through until James's next pay day, as despite what had gone on between us, I would never have let my stepchildren be deprived. I took the furniture and all the pots and pan that I had bought prior to us moving in together. Contrary to what James has claimed in his thread, I did not take the car, since there was no car to take. The only car we had between us, which my parents had bought for me, was written off in my total-loss collision on 01 June.
It's one thing to destroy my happiness and force me out of my home and job, but it's quite another to conduct this smear campaign against me. I did not contact his ex wife or his girlfriend's ex partner - they both contacted me. His wife informed me, to my absolute horror, that he has a Police Caution for domestic abuse/harassment following their split.
Understandably, I wish to sever all ties with him. However, we still have two joint bank accounts and all attempts hitherto to sever/remove my name from those accounts have proven fruitless. I wrote off to Barclays HQ, as advised by own branch, but they have failed to remove my name from the accounts. I have asked James to agree to me removing my name from the account, but he has made it abundantly clear he is not going to do this. Can anyone please tell me how I go about getting my name taken off these accounts, thereby severing ties with my ex forever?
Many thanks for allowing me to give my side of the story.
ZZ.
I haven't read your post yet but.... Jerry Jerry Jerrry 
To add: I remember his original post, I think you'll find people didn't really side with him at the time.
My comment at the time was:
"Its not that people are looking down on you from their high horse, its that if they fked somebody over like you have they'd expect it. You think your hard done to when your really not.
You reap what you sow
You made you bed, now lie in it
What comes around goes around
Stop being a whiney b
h"
Btw its a slow day at work, so thanks for this.
To add: I remember his original post, I think you'll find people didn't really side with him at the time.
My comment at the time was:
"Its not that people are looking down on you from their high horse, its that if they fked somebody over like you have they'd expect it. You think your hard done to when your really not.
You reap what you sow
You made you bed, now lie in it
What comes around goes around
Stop being a whiney b
h"Btw its a slow day at work, so thanks for this.
Edited by StottyZr on Friday 20th July 10:14
Sorry to disappoint, but I am not in the least stalkerish. I simply wish to give my version of events.
Also, if anyone could help with my banking dilemma, I would be most grateful.
Jftr, I was registered on this site a long time ago, but cannot for the life of me remember my username or password.
Also, if anyone could help with my banking dilemma, I would be most grateful.
Jftr, I was registered on this site a long time ago, but cannot for the life of me remember my username or password.
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff