Dumbest thing I have ever heard someone say about a car...

[TallbutBuxomly]

Stopped to fill up with petrol to today. While paying a woman comes in and asks a cashier whether she could use some 5w something oil in her car. Cashier was female didnt really know so I chimed in and asked if petrol or diesel and she said petrol.

I asked her what oil the handbook said she should use and apparently it was 0w something. So I said to her the oil she had would be fine providing she merely used a half litre or so to top up and turn off the oil low light and from then on used the correct gradient of oil.

At this point some plonker on my right chimes in and asks her how old her car is. She responds its an 06. he looks at the bottle of fully synthetic and very authoritatively says "If you use fully synthetic oil your engine will blow up".

Utter fking plonker. I just looked at her told her it would do no such thing but to do as she wished and left as I had better things to do than argue with a complete idiot.

Or did he know something I don't?

Cue the cool story bros etc...

[DeolTheBeast]

[ikonic]

He was right. You were wrong.

Can't believe you didn't know this.


I've mistakenly blown up 3 of my previous cars this way.

[Deranged Granny]

I heard that the Taliban have stopped using IEDs and simply top up their cars with fully synthetic oil instead - far less labour intensive.

[Riley Blue]

If only the Dambusters had oil cans on board, those dams would never have been rebuilt.

[PHmember]

I once heard a woman complaining that the 'bottled date' on some oil was the 'use by date' & that she wanted a refund as the oil will have gone off. It's been in bloody ground for millions of years, but now it's suddenly gone off.

[cuprabob]

TallbutBuxomly said:

the correct gradient of oil.

Is that in case your car goes up or down steep hills?

[BFG TERRANO]

my neighbour has a kia people carrier. It has a diesel engine... he told me hes had it chipped giving him an "extra" 200bhp and 74mpg average. Some chip!!!!!!

[Pistom]

It's a little known fact that Iran has been stockpiling 5w fully synthetic oil in preparation of an all out assault on Israel.

[sodslaw]

• insert joke relating to Jamie P GTR thread here*

[Riley Blue]

cuprabob said:

TallbutBuxomly said:

the correct gradient of oil.

Is that in case your car goes up or down steep hills?

It's a slippery slope...

[HD Adam]

PHmember said:

I once heard a woman complaining that the 'bottled date' on some oil was the 'use by date' & that she wanted a refund as the oil will have gone off. It's been in bloody ground for millions of years, but now it's suddenly gone off.

Spot on mate.

I worked offshore for years and nothing cheered us up more than hitting a good reservoir full of 5W30 as it meant that we could fill up the 1 litre bottles on the rig floor straightway and cut out all those refinery mofo's.

[cuprabob]

Riley Blue said:

It's a slippery slope...

Excellent :-)

[xRIEx]

Riley Blue said:

cuprabob said:

TallbutBuxomly said:

the correct gradient of oil.

Is that in case your car goes up or down steep hills?

It's a slippery slope...

[simoid]

Pistom said:

It's a little known fact that Iran has been stockpiling 5w fully synthetic oil in preparation of an all out assault on Israel.

This is what happened in the Gulf War when someone put some in a Toyota Pickup. It's the only thing known to stop them

[v8will]

'That's the supercharger' A guy I know pointing to the cooling fan on his 1970s 911

[arollingstone]

ha this stuff is gold

[Clinton Baptiste]

I once tried telling a woman that my car had auto wipers that came on automatically when it rained, to which she replied ; won't it flatten the battery if it's raining all night?

[simoid]

In fairness, cars do blow up with synthetic oil in them. Therefore the man was entirely correct.

[Clinton Baptiste]

I once tried telling a woman that my car had auto wipers that came on automatically when it rained, to which she replied ; won't it flatten the battery if it's raining all night?