Van Drivers ARGHHHHHHHHH
Discussion
For the second time in 3 months I have had my wing mirror removed buy a bacon eating van driving monkey.
This one never even stopped but the time I could turn he was off, down some side street. most likly over the limit from last nights darts match.
What is it with people mind that when they step behind the wheel of a van they turn into some massive chip on their shoulder bully boy thug. I mean you get them every day on the road but I rarly meet them in shops/bars ect.
This one never even stopped but the time I could turn he was off, down some side street. most likly over the limit from last nights darts match.
What is it with people mind that when they step behind the wheel of a van they turn into some massive chip on their shoulder bully boy thug. I mean you get them every day on the road but I rarly meet them in shops/bars ect.
To add to the stereotype ...
Walking along busy South London road at 8am in the drizzle this morning, people scurrying about, taking kids to school or getting to work or college.
TOOT TOOT behind me, turn around and see a white van flash his lights, seemingly at a mum pushing a pram along. I can see two chimps in the van making gestures at the mum. Tooted again at an older lady carrying shopping bags. Another 50 yards down the road and it's TOOT TOOT at a young lady in a suit. Further down the road it's the same at the next female victim.
It's 8 in the morning. A dreary, miserable morning. People just want to get where they're going and out of the rain.
Mouth-breathing twits.
Walking along busy South London road at 8am in the drizzle this morning, people scurrying about, taking kids to school or getting to work or college.
TOOT TOOT behind me, turn around and see a white van flash his lights, seemingly at a mum pushing a pram along. I can see two chimps in the van making gestures at the mum. Tooted again at an older lady carrying shopping bags. Another 50 yards down the road and it's TOOT TOOT at a young lady in a suit. Further down the road it's the same at the next female victim.
It's 8 in the morning. A dreary, miserable morning. People just want to get where they're going and out of the rain.
Mouth-breathing twits.
Edited by Timbola on Friday 26th October 09:28
Timbola said:
To add to the stereotype ...
Walking along busy South London road at 8am in the drizzle this morning, people scurrying about, taking kids to school or getting to work or college.
TOOT TOOT behind me, turn around and see a white van flash his lights, seemingly at a mum pushing a pram along. I can see two chimps in the van making gestures at the mum. Tooted again at an older lady carrying shopping bags. Another 50 yards down the road and it's TOOT TOOT at a young lady in a suit. Further down the road it's the same at the next female victim.
It's 8 in the morning. A dreary, miserable morning. People just want to get where they're going and out of the rain.
Mouth-breathing twits.
I drive one, but I try to be courteous whenever I can. I have seen the above behaviour by others though and it's beyond cringeworthy.Walking along busy South London road at 8am in the drizzle this morning, people scurrying about, taking kids to school or getting to work or college.
TOOT TOOT behind me, turn around and see a white van flash his lights, seemingly at a mum pushing a pram along. I can see two chimps in the van making gestures at the mum. Tooted again at an older lady carrying shopping bags. Another 50 yards down the road and it's TOOT TOOT at a young lady in a suit. Further down the road it's the same at the next female victim.
It's 8 in the morning. A dreary, miserable morning. People just want to get where they're going and out of the rain.
Mouth-breathing twits.
Edited by Timbola on Friday 26th October 09:28
The urge to turn all bulls
t macho when they get behind the wheel of a van is too much for some..... 
Another tired old stereotype much like the heavily outdated one about BMW drivers. This one is basically down to good old fashioned British snobbery. I see plenty of appalling behaviour from drivers of just about every type of vehicle, vans included of course.
Over the past few years I've lost three driver's side mirrors on my work van by car drivers coming the opposite direction being too far over towards the centre of the road. Did any of them stop? Take a wild guess.
On the flip side I clipped a parked car once and stopped and left a note because no-one was around. I compensated the bloke for the damage and that was that. I felt I did the right thing but I daresay the vast majority of people would keep on driving.
Don't tar everyone with the same brush. A lot of us rely on our licenses for work, carry our company names on our vehicles and don’t all drive like twunts. I'm sure you'd have something to say if someone was to make a sweeping generalisation of the type of people who drive your car.
Now where did I put that bacon bap?
Is it time for me to admit to the sport of 'car pushing' - or will I get derided? Hmm, probably...but anyway, here's the story.
In mitigation, this was 10 years ago, when I was a lot younger and a little more stupid...
At the time, I raced motorbikes, which necessitated hiring a long wheelbase, hi-top Sprinter on many weekends. My team-mate and I would load the van with our bikes, and all the other paraphernalia for a race weekend.
Based in the South, we usually had to spend most of Friday driving hundreds of miles to whatever circuit - sometimes Scotland - and on Sunday nights, the same drive home.
Obviously, whilst using the highways of England, we came across many, many episodes of feck-wittery and selfish, in-attentive driving. Annoying at best, blood-pressure building at worst, when we had to drive 500 miles, pitch up at a circuit late at night, try to get some sleep, and be fresh enough to wake at 7am for some 180mph qualifying.
We took it in turns to drive, and for the most part, tried to drive quickly but defensively, within the boundaries of what we had to work with. However, despite being able to forgive 99% of road-based lunacy and mis-demeanours by half-asleep car drivers, we could not avoid becoming wound up by fecking middle-lane morons, cruising for miles with nothing to their left, turning a perfectly good 3 lane road into a cramped 2 lane road.
So we invented the sport of 'car pushing.'
Thus.
Slowly overtake lane 2 hogging dick-face in lane 3. As we got the vast expanse of huge white-panneled Sprinter alongside the offender's car, we slowed slightly and matched their speed.
Then. Ever so subtly, a slight deviation applied to the steering wheel, to render the van on a gentle left-heading trajectory.
The van then gently started heading to the left of lane 3. The gap of tarmac to the left of us diminished, and then after some time, the tyres met the cat's eyes - thump, thump, thump, thump. Still our deviation continued. Now the tyres have breached the median and the cat's eyes, and the van is straddling lane 2.
Still our trajectory is undiminished. The left side tyres of the Sprinter are now blatantly within the useable space of lane 2.
And now - what's this? Well, looking in the nearside mirror - do my eyes deceive me? But no! It seems lane 2 hogging divvy has woken up from his selfish slumber! He doesn't look happy. He's trying to get our attention, no less! It's a shame he doesn't put the same effort that he's now expending in frantically flashing his main beam and leaning on the horn, into driving properly, the tit.
Ah well, we've 'started so we'll finish' I guess, so despite the noise, anger and disco style light show, we're halfway into lane 2 now, might as well go right into the lane now.
The MLM has found, to his amazement, that he was able to avoid rubbing the side of his car into our impending van, by moving over into - SHOCK - lane 1??!!
My, he looks surprised and amazed that his journey could continue at the same speed using the empty lane 1 to his left, as it was in lane 2. Now THAT'S something he's learned, isn't it children?
Stupid, yes, and I wouldn't entertain such risks now. But, at the time, it broke up some boring, lengthy journeys that were often frustrated by such selfish driving.
No damage or accidents occurred as a result of such stupidity on our part...
In mitigation, this was 10 years ago, when I was a lot younger and a little more stupid...
At the time, I raced motorbikes, which necessitated hiring a long wheelbase, hi-top Sprinter on many weekends. My team-mate and I would load the van with our bikes, and all the other paraphernalia for a race weekend.
Based in the South, we usually had to spend most of Friday driving hundreds of miles to whatever circuit - sometimes Scotland - and on Sunday nights, the same drive home.
Obviously, whilst using the highways of England, we came across many, many episodes of feck-wittery and selfish, in-attentive driving. Annoying at best, blood-pressure building at worst, when we had to drive 500 miles, pitch up at a circuit late at night, try to get some sleep, and be fresh enough to wake at 7am for some 180mph qualifying.
We took it in turns to drive, and for the most part, tried to drive quickly but defensively, within the boundaries of what we had to work with. However, despite being able to forgive 99% of road-based lunacy and mis-demeanours by half-asleep car drivers, we could not avoid becoming wound up by fecking middle-lane morons, cruising for miles with nothing to their left, turning a perfectly good 3 lane road into a cramped 2 lane road.
So we invented the sport of 'car pushing.'
Thus.
Slowly overtake lane 2 hogging dick-face in lane 3. As we got the vast expanse of huge white-panneled Sprinter alongside the offender's car, we slowed slightly and matched their speed.
Then. Ever so subtly, a slight deviation applied to the steering wheel, to render the van on a gentle left-heading trajectory.
The van then gently started heading to the left of lane 3. The gap of tarmac to the left of us diminished, and then after some time, the tyres met the cat's eyes - thump, thump, thump, thump. Still our deviation continued. Now the tyres have breached the median and the cat's eyes, and the van is straddling lane 2.
Still our trajectory is undiminished. The left side tyres of the Sprinter are now blatantly within the useable space of lane 2.
And now - what's this? Well, looking in the nearside mirror - do my eyes deceive me? But no! It seems lane 2 hogging divvy has woken up from his selfish slumber! He doesn't look happy. He's trying to get our attention, no less! It's a shame he doesn't put the same effort that he's now expending in frantically flashing his main beam and leaning on the horn, into driving properly, the tit.
Ah well, we've 'started so we'll finish' I guess, so despite the noise, anger and disco style light show, we're halfway into lane 2 now, might as well go right into the lane now.
The MLM has found, to his amazement, that he was able to avoid rubbing the side of his car into our impending van, by moving over into - SHOCK - lane 1??!!
My, he looks surprised and amazed that his journey could continue at the same speed using the empty lane 1 to his left, as it was in lane 2. Now THAT'S something he's learned, isn't it children?
Stupid, yes, and I wouldn't entertain such risks now. But, at the time, it broke up some boring, lengthy journeys that were often frustrated by such selfish driving.
No damage or accidents occurred as a result of such stupidity on our part...
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