The irritating middle lane moron on quiet motorways...

[twink]

Picture the scene: It's late evening, the motorway is quiet and you're tootling along in lane 1 at 70. Despite the road behind you being empty for the last mile or so, there's a MLM doing 71mph in the middle lane, slowly catching you up.

You're approaching a truck.

Now Mr or Mrs MLM has been slooooooooooooooowly approaching for the last mile or so but due to the tiny speed difference they're hardly catching up and aren't overtaking anything. Obviously you're going to have to pull out to go past the truck in lane one. Now this is where the quandry begins. Do you knock the cruise control off and allow MLM to breeze slowly past before you get to the truck so you can pull out behind, or seen as the car behind is the equivalent distance of 4 or 5 of those 'you should be driving this distance apart' markers, do you increase your speed before you get to the truck to improve the gap and pull out in front of the MLM?

Over to you.

[Cunning Punt]

twink said:

Do you knock the cruise control off and allow MLM to breeze slowly past {...} or {...} do you increase your speed before you get to the truck ?

Yes.

[LukeSi]

Or option 3, you fly past both at warp speed in lane 3.

[Matt UK]

Best thing is to be proactive - either back off or speed up.

[g3org3y]

Don't get me started...

For the last week I've been driving around Germany on the Autobahns witnessing good flow of traffic at high speeds with very decent lane discipline. A genuine joy to use.

Was back in the UK only 5 mins on the A2/M2 and was privy to fkwittery of the highest order. Not in the mood to rant about it tonight, maybe tomorrow. Too much apathy

And that includes the cock socket in the Astra estate who wanted to sit in lane 3 at 70mph despite lane 2 being clear. Thanks for the brake test you . Shame your diesel stbox wasn't quite rapid enough when you tried to race as I passed you on the inside.

[Caulkhead]

Knock off the cruise, snick down to 4th, nail it in front of the MLM, slam the anchors on, swerve wildly from side to side whilst throwing the contents of your glovebox through the sunroof at the MLM before flicking off the DSC, perform a perfect 360 degree power oversteer drift around the MLM whilst mooning them and then return to your 70mph cruise in lane 1.

[twink]

Caulkhead said:

Knock off the cruise, snick down to 4th, nail it in front of the MLM, slam the anchors on, swerve wildly from side to side whilst throwing the contents of your glovebox through the sunroof at the MLM before flicking off the DSC, perform a perfect 360 degree power oversteer drift around the MLM whilst mooning them and then return to your 70mph cruise in lane 1.

Don't have a sunroof.

[Pothole]

The first thing you do is indicate. You may remember the drill: 'Mirror, signal, manoeuvre' With luck, your indication will wake up the MLM and cause him to back off and flash you out.

[falkster]

LukeSi said:

Or option 3, you fly past both at warp speed in lane 3.

This

[James2593]

I'd move into the middle lane a little earlier than I would do if the motorway was empty. Maybe holding up the MLM while still behind the lorry might make them think about their lane choices.

Probably slightly knobish behaviour, but the MLM is more of a fkwhit.

[Art0ir]

Another PHer had a great suggestion recently which I've managed to execute a number of times now;

Overtake, move into Lane 1, slow and let MLM pass, indicate and move back into Lane 3 and repeat overtake. Repeat until your junction or MLM moves into Lane 1.

[twink]

Art0ir said:

Another PHer had a great suggestion recently which I've managed to execute a number of times now;

Overtake, move into Lane 1, slow and let MLM pass, indicate and move back into Lane 3 and repeat overtake. Repeat until your junction or MLM moves into Lane 1.

It may well have been me that suggested that in another thread.

Yes one would hope plenty of warning from an indicator would wake them up but not always. I do a 360 mile drive from the bottom end of Cornwall up to near Liverpool once or twice a month so I'm quite used to seeing this display of fkwittery.

Must say that when faced with this situation I tend to give a good bit of indicator warning, hoping I'll get a flash to go but if not I tend to accelerate to increase the gap and pull out. If I think it might be pushing it for space I'll drop the speed off and let them past.

[Major Fallout]

Art0ir said:

Another PHer had a great suggestion recently which I've managed to execute a number of times now;

Overtake, move into Lane 1, slow and let MLM pass, indicate and move back into Lane 3 and repeat overtake. Repeat until your junction or MLM moves into Lane 1.

I love this game!

How many laps of a MLM can you do before they notice? I think my record is 5

[OzzyR1]

Major Fallout said:

I love this game!

How many laps of a MLM can you do before they notice? I think my record is 5

I have been playing this for years, not so much nowadays but when I used to do several thousand miles a year.

My record was 7.

Also used to play the bonus game of not allowing any tyre to hit a cat's eye when changing lanes.

[danjama]

James2593 said:

I'd move into the middle lane a little earlier than I would do if the motorway was empty. Maybe holding up the MLM while still behind the lorry might make them think about their lane choices.

Probably slightly knobish behaviour, but the MLM is more of a fkwhit.

This is what I would have done. YOU know the lorry is coming up, you also know the MLM is closing very slowly, so just come over a bit earlier. Then they can either move to lane 3 or drop the 1mph.

[goldblum]

It's a quandary, certainly.

[CDP]

Major Fallout said:

Art0ir said:

Another PHer had a great suggestion recently which I've managed to execute a number of times now;

Overtake, move into Lane 1, slow and let MLM pass, indicate and move back into Lane 3 and repeat overtake. Repeat until your junction or MLM moves into Lane 1.

I love this game!

How many laps of a MLM can you do before they notice? I think my record is 5

That should be in the Highway Code...

Do the government still have that petitions site?

[JordanTurbo]

Art0ir said:

Another PHer had a great suggestion recently which I've managed to execute a number of times now;

Overtake, move into Lane 1, slow and let MLM pass, indicate and move back into Lane 3 and repeat overtake. Repeat until your junction or MLM moves into Lane 1.

I want to play!

Remind me in February when im home. Im sure it wont take long for me to find a MLH to try it out on

[Unemployed]

Imagine if he had his fog lights on AND had Winter tyres on!

Moronic thread.

[lescombes]

James2593 said:

I'd move into the middle lane a little earlier than I would do if the motorway was empty. Maybe holding up the MLM while still behind the lorry might make them think about their lane choices.

Probably slightly knobish behaviour, but the MLM is more of a fkwhit.

Tends to work.... pull out in front of MLM's in plenty of time of course...they just back off to the speed you are doing as they are comfy and happy sitting there in lane 2... I did it the other week....passed an HGV...eased down to 65...then 60... all the MLM's just eased off with me.... Lazy,stupid & selfish drivers... my actions were an experiment and my theory was correct....

Now if only the BiB would patrol Mways etc and pull MLM's in for a chat... at the roadside....so all drivers can see it ....