Who designs these wretched cars?
Discussion
My wife has recently got a new company car, A Ford Focus Diesel.
I have to clean the thing. I've just f
king well feckin come in after washing the feckin POS. What feckin moronic imbecilic tt imagines that you have to have about 400 spokes per wheel. What feckin planet do they feckin well live on?
Do they not realise that on this planet Earth, looser parts of which have a magnetic attraction for wheels, mugs like me have to clean them regularly to preserve the delicate finish of the wheel, before the mixture of ste and brake dust corrodes the surface of the wheel?
At each place where one of the myriad spokes meet the rim there's a little tight angle which means you have to try and get the crap out with a toothbrush. Its impossible. Just design out the poxy little dust trap before you release the design onto the gullible public. ttS!!
Oh, and what the feck is the point of the keyless ignition system? Open the heap up as normal with a remote keyfob. Fine.
But there's no key. You have to press a big button marked 'POWER'. Well thats a feckin joke in itself. Its a poxy 1.6 tubo diesel. I must be pressing the crappy button wrong, 'cos whenever I've driven it, the one thing that stands out is that it HAS NO FRIGGIN POWER!!!
And thats when it actually starts. It often has delight in flashing up on the display that there is no keyfob in the car. fk off! Its in my hand. The one thats tryin to press the feckin POWER button. Its the one I have just unlocked the ttting doors with. I have to shagging well get out of the POS, lock the car, unlock it and get back in. Whats the fking point of that? Keyless? Am I unusual that I live in a house and feel it convenient to attach my door key to the car key ring? Clearly I'm not, cos the keyfob coomes with a keyring!!! What marketing simpleton thought of that? tts.
So, eventually, the car decides to start up. Where the fk do I put the keyfob and my front door key? In one of the 2 tiny drink holder holes in front of the centre console? (I'm coming to that in a mo!) fking door pocket. Nope, thats already full of hardly anything as its so bloody small.
I'm very tempted to attach a self adhesive hook to conveniently hang the keyring off. Now, where the fk should I put it?
Oh, diddly doo, what about the fking blanking plate where the fking IGNITION KEY should go. Dickeads.
Now then, whats left?
Well theres the mahoosive A pillars which have clearly been nicked from a Dakar rally trucks rollcage. Blind spot sir? Can't see what your talking about sir, they are all like that.
Centre console and armrest, said I was coming back to that damn thing.. fkin nightmare. Its about 2ft tall. Its like a house in your car. You need a fking searchlight to see to the bottom of it. No fking point putting your keyfob in there, you'd need to be a fkin miner to get to the bottom.
2Ft tall. Yes, thats a fking amazing piece of design and ergonomics. Clearly designed by (and for the use of, ffs!)an orang utan with an extra elbow joint in to enable it to shock fkin horror, change gear normally, you know, like a human being. In order to change gear, which you have to do a LOT as there is no fking power, despite what it says on the button, you have to point your feckin elbow at the roof. Burrowed away beside it is the seat belt thingy. Trouble is unless your'e the size of a 6 year old midget your pretty much sat on it, squeezed between the side of your bum and the house. so you have to shuffle your bum over to the door to get access to it. Brilliant.
Who designs this st? To$$ers.
Nice colour though.
I have to clean the thing. I've just f
king well feckin come in after washing the feckin POS. What feckin moronic imbecilic tt imagines that you have to have about 400 spokes per wheel. What feckin planet do they feckin well live on? Do they not realise that on this planet Earth, looser parts of which have a magnetic attraction for wheels, mugs like me have to clean them regularly to preserve the delicate finish of the wheel, before the mixture of s
te and brake dust corrodes the surface of the wheel? At each place where one of the myriad spokes meet the rim there's a little tight angle which means you have to try and get the crap out with a toothbrush. Its impossible. Just design out the poxy little dust trap before you release the design onto the gullible public. t
tS!!Oh, and what the feck is the point of the keyless ignition system? Open the heap up as normal with a remote keyfob. Fine.
But there's no key. You have to press a big button marked 'POWER'. Well thats a feckin joke in itself. Its a poxy 1.6 tubo diesel. I must be pressing the crappy button wrong, 'cos whenever I've driven it, the one thing that stands out is that it HAS NO FRIGGIN POWER!!!
And thats when it actually starts. It often has delight in flashing up on the display that there is no keyfob in the car. f
k off! Its in my hand. The one thats tryin to press the feckin POWER button. Its the one I have just unlocked the ttting doors with. I have to shagging well get out of the POS, lock the car, unlock it and get back in. Whats the fking point of that? Keyless? Am I unusual that I live in a house and feel it convenient to attach my door key to the car key ring? Clearly I'm not, cos the keyfob coomes with a keyring!!! What marketing simpleton thought of that? tts.So, eventually, the car decides to start up. Where the f
k do I put the keyfob and my front door key? In one of the 2 tiny drink holder holes in front of the centre console? (I'm coming to that in a mo!) fking door pocket. Nope, thats already full of hardly anything as its so bloody small.I'm very tempted to attach a self adhesive hook to conveniently hang the keyring off. Now, where the f
k should I put it?Oh, diddly doo, what about the f
king blanking plate where the fking IGNITION KEY should go. Dickeads.Now then, whats left?
Well theres the mahoosive A pillars which have clearly been nicked from a Dakar rally trucks rollcage. Blind spot sir? Can't see what your talking about sir, they are all like that.
Centre console and armrest, said I was coming back to that damn thing.. f
kin nightmare. Its about 2ft tall. Its like a house in your car. You need a fking searchlight to see to the bottom of it. No fking point putting your keyfob in there, you'd need to be a fkin miner to get to the bottom. 2Ft tall. Yes, thats a f
king amazing piece of design and ergonomics. Clearly designed by (and for the use of, ffs!)an orang utan with an extra elbow joint in to enable it to shock fkin horror, change gear normally, you know, like a human being. In order to change gear, which you have to do a LOT as there is no fking power, despite what it says on the button, you have to point your feckin elbow at the roof. Burrowed away beside it is the seat belt thingy. Trouble is unless your'e the size of a 6 year old midget your pretty much sat on it, squeezed between the side of your bum and the house. so you have to shuffle your bum over to the door to get access to it. Brilliant.Who designs this s
t? To$$ers.Nice colour though.
User33678888 said:
I've never understood this keyless start nonsense. The salesman really tried to sell it when we bought the Galaxy, but I really couldn't see it being helpful.
Doesn't make sense if you have to unlock it with a fob, but the ones that unlock etc as well are great. Shove the key in your pocket and forget - better for ladies because you don't have to wait for them rummaging round looking for a hedgehog full of keys/keyrings.OP: Poor rant. Washing a company car? Fool. Get some wheel sealant on the wheels if you want to wash them less, try the Gtechnic stuff. Most of the crap will just rinse off.
excellent rant.... not so good design abounds everywhere.
here's a pic of the rear door of the new 4 door ds4 from citroen.
it has a very pointy bit on it that obstructs opening - poor you might think.... but then if I told you that the glass is fixed and you can't open the window... ???
citroen always did quirky design, next they will have a non opening door just to be different.
vive la difference!
here's a pic of the rear door of the new 4 door ds4 from citroen.
it has a very pointy bit on it that obstructs opening - poor you might think.... but then if I told you that the glass is fixed and you can't open the window... ???
citroen always did quirky design, next they will have a non opening door just to be different.
vive la difference!
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff