Has anybody had to...........
Discussion
...........tell an elderly relative that maybe it's time to hang up the keys? Luckily my dads still happily 
, no problems, but has anybody been in a position where it's obvious some one they know is not safe to be on the road and how did you let them know?. I guess some people may acknowledge friendly hints, whilst the refusal of others to stick to walking, I should imagine, could lead some to upset......
, no problems, but has anybody been in a position where it's obvious some one they know is not safe to be on the road and how did you let them know?. I guess some people may acknowledge friendly hints, whilst the refusal of others to stick to walking, I should imagine, could lead some to upset......My old chap stopped driving in the dark voluntarily but I'm not sure he will do that when the time comes to hang up his keys. I'm dreading the conversation as I don't think it'll go well. It's not time yet but it's just around the corner. The only saving grace is my mum is 6 years younger and still a good driver so it shouldn't affect his quality of life too much......
Mmm, very difficult topic.
Currently going through this with my 88 year old mother.
Trouble is, she would be lost without her car, it is her lifeline. There are an increasing number of dents and scrapes each time I see it. I had a call from one of her friends the other day who said she had nearly been run over by my mother as she drove off....scary stuff.
Elderly drivers are often good drivers but they can suddenly turn into bad drivers. Reaction times and observational skills need monitoring.
As I said, a very difficult topic.....
Currently going through this with my 88 year old mother.
Trouble is, she would be lost without her car, it is her lifeline. There are an increasing number of dents and scrapes each time I see it. I had a call from one of her friends the other day who said she had nearly been run over by my mother as she drove off....scary stuff.
Elderly drivers are often good drivers but they can suddenly turn into bad drivers. Reaction times and observational skills need monitoring.
As I said, a very difficult topic.....
Surely the solution to this is a compulsory driving/eye test for drivers who reach a certain age, with a refresher every 2 years?
This way the decision is taken out of their hands, and if they are safe to drive with the requisite facilities then fine. If not, you are no longer allowed to drive.
I was almost run over by an elderly lady last Christmas. I was crossing a road and she indicated to turn in. She never saw me (after cutting across in the wrong lane) and I had to run pretty fast to get out of the way (the car wing mirror gave me a proper clout as she drove past. She could barely see over the steering wheel.
It might sound harsh, but driving is not a right, and if you are at risk of killing someone because you are no longer safe to drive a car then you shouldn't be allowed to. End of.
This way the decision is taken out of their hands, and if they are safe to drive with the requisite facilities then fine. If not, you are no longer allowed to drive.
I was almost run over by an elderly lady last Christmas. I was crossing a road and she indicated to turn in. She never saw me (after cutting across in the wrong lane) and I had to run pretty fast to get out of the way (the car wing mirror gave me a proper clout as she drove past. She could barely see over the steering wheel.
It might sound harsh, but driving is not a right, and if you are at risk of killing someone because you are no longer safe to drive a car then you shouldn't be allowed to. End of.
I advised a very elderly neighbour to do so about 10 years ago as his Jaguar didn't have a panel without a major dent. Unfortunately he didn't stop until he had a serious accident he was lucky to survive.
I have to admit, I'd find it difficult to accept the fact, but there comes a point.....
I have to admit, I'd find it difficult to accept the fact, but there comes a point.....
Remember my grandfather elected to give up driving when he moved into sheltered accommodation near us, in his mid eighties a few years before I started driving. He then sold his (as far as I remember) mint condition fully loaded Volvo 360, that he'd from more or less new as an ex fleet car from BP, for a few hundred quid, I would have loved it for a first car. 
My father is 89 and can't walk unaided. My sister and I persuaded him to give up driving earlier this yea, and we share the duty of online shopping. Dad has a mobility scooter for local use - doctor's appointments etc, but the problem was getting my mother to regular hospital appointments, although we thought that we'd cracked that with a local taxi if eiher my sister or I were unavailable.
Fast forward six months and he's bought another car! I was less than amused and told him that he wasn't fit to drive because he's not capable of reacting quickly enough in an emergency.
But he's insistent that he's ok, despite it being abundantly clear that he very much isn't.
I found this:
https://emaildvla.direct.gov.uk/emaildvla/cegemail...
I haven't used it. Yet.
Fast forward six months and he's bought another car! I was less than amused and told him that he wasn't fit to drive because he's not capable of reacting quickly enough in an emergency.
But he's insistent that he's ok, despite it being abundantly clear that he very much isn't.
I found this:
https://emaildvla.direct.gov.uk/emaildvla/cegemail...
I haven't used it. Yet.
Funny this thread should come up - I had a situation only today with an elderly driver. Luckily my finely-honed '6th roadsense' kicked in.
I was coming up to a roundabout, two lanes up to the island, two lanes across, two lanes out straight on. Both lanes marked up as being suitable for traffic to go straight across from either lane.
I was in lane 2. As I came to the give way marking, I glanced across at the car to my left (Picasso
), which contained a very elderly gent and I guess his equally elderly wife.
My instinct told me 'brake now, for he will incur into your lane blindly.'
Sure enough, he basically 'straight-lined' the roundabout, passing from his lane 1, almost completely into my lane 2, and then back into his lane 1 again on the exit
If I hadn't been there, and my car was being driven by, ooh I dunno - let's say a teenage girl with all the observational ability of a blind bat, with most of her attention on her phone in her lap, then there would have been a good-old prang.
He had no idea that my anticipation had just prevented a crash, with all the stress ans grief that would have caused him and his wife. He just blindly carried on down the road, in his blissful ignorance.
This scenario, however, is not unusual - I can think of a dozen similar encounters with elderly drivers in the last couple of months. On each occasion, I am not angry or full of rage towards the dozy old gits - I am just more amazed at the fact that, once you get to a certain age (whatever that might be) that there isn't a more robust method of checking your suitability to drive.
As we all know, some are better than others. Like Stirling Moss would be a better bet than Doris down the road with her reduced mobility and her cataracts. So the simple way to differentiate would be a short road-safety test, would it not?
If there's a cost to it - tough. There's a cost to motoring anyway, it's a privilege and not a right - so it would have to be sucked up. I reckon it would save a fortune in insurance claims anyway which most drivers would recoup in reduced premiums, thus having a surplus of cash to pay for these tests.
Anyone else agree?
I was coming up to a roundabout, two lanes up to the island, two lanes across, two lanes out straight on. Both lanes marked up as being suitable for traffic to go straight across from either lane.
I was in lane 2. As I came to the give way marking, I glanced across at the car to my left (Picasso
), which contained a very elderly gent and I guess his equally elderly wife.My instinct told me 'brake now, for he will incur into your lane blindly.'
Sure enough, he basically 'straight-lined' the roundabout, passing from his lane 1, almost completely into my lane 2, and then back into his lane 1 again on the exit
If I hadn't been there, and my car was being driven by, ooh I dunno - let's say a teenage girl with all the observational ability of a blind bat, with most of her attention on her phone in her lap, then there would have been a good-old prang.
He had no idea that my anticipation had just prevented a crash, with all the stress ans grief that would have caused him and his wife. He just blindly carried on down the road, in his blissful ignorance.
This scenario, however, is not unusual - I can think of a dozen similar encounters with elderly drivers in the last couple of months. On each occasion, I am not angry or full of rage towards the dozy old gits - I am just more amazed at the fact that, once you get to a certain age (whatever that might be) that there isn't a more robust method of checking your suitability to drive.
As we all know, some are better than others. Like Stirling Moss would be a better bet than Doris down the road with her reduced mobility and her cataracts. So the simple way to differentiate would be a short road-safety test, would it not?
If there's a cost to it - tough. There's a cost to motoring anyway, it's a privilege and not a right - so it would have to be sucked up. I reckon it would save a fortune in insurance claims anyway which most drivers would recoup in reduced premiums, thus having a surplus of cash to pay for these tests.
Anyone else agree?
I'm not sure too early to tell if I'll have to. Long time lurker but felt the need to post.
My mum is 82. She lives in Canada and I live in the UK. I have told her many times she shouldn't drive which has resulted in her not talking to me. She pays $5000 a year on insurance because of her accident record. She has a one year old Golf which is dented on every panel. She has just had another accident and thought she could claim it on her warranty as the car is new!!!
I have reported her to social services, her Dr and the DVLA equivalent.
Can I do more. She will kill some one soon if not herself.
All feed back gratefully received.
My mum is 82. She lives in Canada and I live in the UK. I have told her many times she shouldn't drive which has resulted in her not talking to me. She pays $5000 a year on insurance because of her accident record. She has a one year old Golf which is dented on every panel. She has just had another accident and thought she could claim it on her warranty as the car is new!!!
I have reported her to social services, her Dr and the DVLA equivalent.
Can I do more. She will kill some one soon if not herself.
All feed back gratefully received.
I tried to convince my Dad not to bother having his car repaired when it was hit while parked. His annual mileage was by then very low anyway, so it seemed to make more sense to use the insurance pay out towards taxis as and when he needed them.
It is a 1991 Mitsubishi Colt 1.8 Gti so the damage was pretty minimal anyway to write it off. He could keep the car as well, so I suggested just running until the MOT ran out, then scrap it which he seemed to agree made sense.
Next thing I hear is that a neighbour's son had offered to repair it for the write off money. Not living nearby it was too late when I found out as it was already being done. Not long after he got it back he started having problems with his knee so it's now festered in the garage, so a total waste of the £1,200 IMHO (which I considered was an extremely generous write off amount anyway). He has had his knee fixed now, but it's taking a long time to recover, so I'm hoping that his occasional comments about driving again aren't serious.
With any luck once the RFL (yes he hasn't even bothered sending it back) and MOT run out he won't be able to drive it: I know he's such a stickler for 'rules' that he probably won't realise that he can book it for an MOT and drive it there even without the tax and expired MOT. I just hope no one else tells him.
He once wouldn't drive his car because he'd mislaid his licence (not because he needed to produce it or anything, but just incase he did ).
My FIL gave up a good 5 years before his death and soon after the MIL sold the car (she'd wanted to when he was alive, but he wouldn't discuss it), so we don't have to worry bout her driving now. My Mum and Stepdad seem much more alert when I've been in their car with them, so hopefully it'll be a good few years before we need to worry about having that conversation with them...
It is a 1991 Mitsubishi Colt 1.8 Gti so the damage was pretty minimal anyway to write it off. He could keep the car as well, so I suggested just running until the MOT ran out, then scrap it which he seemed to agree made sense.
Next thing I hear is that a neighbour's son had offered to repair it for the write off money. Not living nearby it was too late when I found out as it was already being done. Not long after he got it back he started having problems with his knee so it's now festered in the garage, so a total waste of the £1,200 IMHO (which I considered was an extremely generous write off amount anyway). He has had his knee fixed now, but it's taking a long time to recover, so I'm hoping that his occasional comments about driving again aren't serious.
With any luck once the RFL (yes he hasn't even bothered sending it back) and MOT run out he won't be able to drive it: I know he's such a stickler for 'rules' that he probably won't realise that he can book it for an MOT and drive it there even without the tax and expired MOT. I just hope no one else tells him.
He once wouldn't drive his car because he'd mislaid his licence (not because he needed to produce it or anything, but just incase he did ).My FIL gave up a good 5 years before his death and soon after the MIL sold the car (she'd wanted to when he was alive, but he wouldn't discuss it), so we don't have to worry bout her driving now. My Mum and Stepdad seem much more alert when I've been in their car with them, so hopefully it'll be a good few years before we need to worry about having that conversation with them...
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