Shed of the Week: Alfa 166 Twin Spark

Shed kicks off 2014 with an apparently unwanted big Alfa

Some traders are odd. They take in cars on part ex and then advertise them in a way that seems designed to put off potential buyers, by using phrases like 'to clear', 'no warranty given or implied', or 'sold as seen'.

Yep, far prettier from behind

The ad for this Sevenoaks-based Alfa 166 is a fine example. In a remarkably short selection of words it manages to contain the full gamut of dreaded phrases. And for the benefit of those who are hard of hearing, or comprehension, the vendor has kindly put his 'SOLD AS SEEN' warning in capital letters.

It's almost as if he doesn't want to sell it. Hmm... maybe he wants to KEEP IT FOR HIMSELF. It seems more likely however that he thinks he knows something, i.e. that big Alfas are about as practical and sensible a form of everyday transport as a Mars rover.

But is this fair? The last 166 we Shedded, a 3.0-litre V6 in November '12, attracted a lot of PH love. One PHer described the Italian 5 Series challenger as the motoring equivalent of a Gucci suit. This is the pre-'03 non-facelifted model, wearing a front end only a mother could love, so is perhaps more like the equivalent of a three-piece Gucci suit. In light brown. On the positive side it does have a smart set of teledial wheels and a nice body colour/leather combo.

Actually, inside probably still the best view

Plus it has the potentially less ruinous 2.0-litre four-pot Twin Spark motor. Just the job for these straitened times, you'd think. Trouble is, we're talking here about the days before super-efficient petrol engines. Some would say that the otherwise game TS motor was a bit overmatched in that 166 body. Others would be less kind and compare the performance of a Twin Spark 166 to that of a pogo stick with metal fatigue. It only just scrapes into single figures for the 0-60 dash, and will punish those of a sporting bent and/or a heavy right foot by delivering equally depressing mpg figures. Big engines in small cars are good; small engines in big cars are not so good. Although having said that, a 166 owner commenting on that Nov '12 Shed reckoned that driving his 2.0 car made him feel like a king. Takes all sorts.

Indeed, it's not that bad. The lighter weight of the four-pot gives it slightly nimbler handling than the nose-heavy V6, and there are many (including Shed) who believe that the 166 looks better in reality than it does in photos. The photos of this one do make it look rather tempting. Shed would be inclined to use the ad as a buying tool. After all, if the car is as risky as the vendor seems to be implying it is, then surely you'd be doing him a favour by taking it off his hands for 700 quid.

Dealer doesn't seem to want it; do you?

The apparent absence of a service history is both a risk and an opportunity, depending on who's holding the V5. All you can do is avoid dealer servicing and keep your eye on the suspension bushes and chocolate wishbones, the mass air flow sensor, and any signs of a plastic-impeller water pump.

If you get lucky, buying this car and keeping hold of it could be a rewarding leap of faith. For your x hundred bid you'd be getting a very comfortable and stylish cruiser, and maybe even an appreciating asset. Our scientific 'how many left' comparo between the number of 166s running around in Nov '12 - about 1,300 - and the number that are about now indicates that over a hundred 166s have gone the way of all flesh between the third quarter of '12 and the same period in '13. We're now down to under a thousand all told. 166 production only finished about six years ago, so parts are still reasonably easy to find. Sure, some of the electrics will fail, but then even German cars have been known to have electrical problems.

Buying a big Alfa and keeping it. Why, the very idea.

Here's the ad. It starts promisingly with Blue and goes on from there.

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