Stupid things Service Managers say
Discussion
I thought it was unfair just to pick on the slip ups of the sales staff. In my experience over the years, the really hilarious comments usually come from the workshop staff.
Here's a few:
A Jeep I had from new pulled strongly to the left whenever you took your hands off the wheel. Service manager "They all do that Sir, its the camber of the roads". No, its because you supplied it with badly mismatched tyre pressures.
Same Jeep when told that the lights cut out when going over a bump "That's because the towbar electrics were very badly fitted. What cowboys did you get to fit that?" I replied "You did!"
My favourite concerned a small runaround that we bought for our then au pair. There was something seriously wrong with it and it would drive itself up hils at 30mph without your foot on the accelerator at all. My wife took it in to the dealer and he was the most patronising chauvanistic slob on earth. He explained that the car was the new more powerful 1.1 litre model with fuel injection and therefore it was probably more powerful than anything else she had driven. "So what car do you normally drive then he asked?" My wife replied "Porsche Turbo"
Here's a few:
A Jeep I had from new pulled strongly to the left whenever you took your hands off the wheel. Service manager "They all do that Sir, its the camber of the roads". No, its because you supplied it with badly mismatched tyre pressures.
Same Jeep when told that the lights cut out when going over a bump "That's because the towbar electrics were very badly fitted. What cowboys did you get to fit that?" I replied "You did!"
My favourite concerned a small runaround that we bought for our then au pair. There was something seriously wrong with it and it would drive itself up hils at 30mph without your foot on the accelerator at all. My wife took it in to the dealer and he was the most patronising chauvanistic slob on earth. He explained that the car was the new more powerful 1.1 litre model with fuel injection and therefore it was probably more powerful than anything else she had driven. "So what car do you normally drive then he asked?" My wife replied "Porsche Turbo"
Said by Main Dealer to g/f who was complaining MGF tyres wearing unevenly "that's because you are not swapping the tyres front to back"
Wrong on every level..especially given the differing size of wheels.
Same g/f at Renault dealer. "Madam, I can assure you there's nothing wrong with your wheel bearings"
About 1 mile later the wheel bearing exploded spectacularly
Wrong on every level..especially given the differing size of wheels.
Same g/f at Renault dealer. "Madam, I can assure you there's nothing wrong with your wheel bearings"
About 1 mile later the wheel bearing exploded spectacularly
BMW Dealership in Glasgow getting work done on the Z4 I had.
Got back into the car after it was fixed and found a whole load of tools in the passenger footwell obviously used to fix the issue the car had.
Took the tools back in and asked to see the Service Manager.
He said to me, "Where did the tools come from and did we leave them in the car?"
Was tempted to say no I bought the tools and was donating them to the BMW cause!
Got back into the car after it was fixed and found a whole load of tools in the passenger footwell obviously used to fix the issue the car had.
Took the tools back in and asked to see the Service Manager.
He said to me, "Where did the tools come from and did we leave them in the car?"
Was tempted to say no I bought the tools and was donating them to the BMW cause!
"They all do that, sir..."
...or...
"We've looked at it, but couldn't find anything"
...or, and I promise this is true, "Yeah, it did that on the PDI test drive, but it wouldn't get it to happen again so we let it go..."
In the case of the latter, "that" was a throttle sticking open on a new car :/
...or...
"We've looked at it, but couldn't find anything"
...or, and I promise this is true, "Yeah, it did that on the PDI test drive, but it wouldn't get it to happen again so we let it go..."
In the case of the latter, "that" was a throttle sticking open on a new car :/
It's done 20,000 miles sir, rear discs are normally needed went to it missed its 12k service sir, we'd have seen the seized caliper if you'd brought it in. Anyway discs aren't covered.
But I blustered this is the new modal with 20k intervals. Yes sir, but if you'd have brought it in at 12k we'd have seen it. After ten minutes got bored and asked for the manager.
To be fair he was very good, saw my point and negotiated an equitable soloution of me paying for pads and the manufacturer paying labour and discs.
But I blustered this is the new modal with 20k intervals. Yes sir, but if you'd have brought it in at 12k we'd have seen it. After ten minutes got bored and asked for the manager.
To be fair he was very good, saw my point and negotiated an equitable soloution of me paying for pads and the manufacturer paying labour and discs.
I had a Brand new E46 M3 and took it to Benham bmw dealer in Stockport now closed, the car went in for its first 1250 mile service. when i went to collect my car i could see the door was not closed fully,so i said to the service guy my door is not closing fully when i come out to look his reply was!! Oh that's the M3 Convertible sir the door is like that for aerodynamic purpose!! i saw red. The kept the car in overnight and called me the next day to the workshop had got the T cards mixed up & changed the Door seals by mistake!!! the car was 4 weeks old..
what a sham!! Never went back there again.
what a sham!! Never went back there again.
Crapaud said:
I thought it was unfair just to pick on the slip ups of the sales staff. In my experience over the years, the really hilarious comments usually come from the workshop staff.
Here's a few:
A Jeep I had from new pulled strongly to the left whenever you took your hands off the wheel. Service manager "They all do that Sir, its the camber of the roads". No, its because you supplied it with badly mismatched tyre pressures.
Same Jeep when told that the lights cut out when going over a bump "That's because the towbar electrics were very badly fitted. What cowboys did you get to fit that?" I replied "You did!"
My favourite concerned a small runaround that we bought for our then au pair. There was something seriously wrong with it and it would drive itself up hils at 30mph without your foot on the accelerator at all. My wife took it in to the dealer and he was the most patronising chauvanistic slob on earth. He explained that the car was the new more powerful 1.1 litre model with fuel injection and therefore it was probably more powerful than anything else she had driven. "So what car do you normally drive then he asked?" My wife replied "Porsche Turbo"
You know you've done well when your buying your au pair her own car. Here's a few:
A Jeep I had from new pulled strongly to the left whenever you took your hands off the wheel. Service manager "They all do that Sir, its the camber of the roads". No, its because you supplied it with badly mismatched tyre pressures.
Same Jeep when told that the lights cut out when going over a bump "That's because the towbar electrics were very badly fitted. What cowboys did you get to fit that?" I replied "You did!"
My favourite concerned a small runaround that we bought for our then au pair. There was something seriously wrong with it and it would drive itself up hils at 30mph without your foot on the accelerator at all. My wife took it in to the dealer and he was the most patronising chauvanistic slob on earth. He explained that the car was the new more powerful 1.1 litre model with fuel injection and therefore it was probably more powerful than anything else she had driven. "So what car do you normally drive then he asked?" My wife replied "Porsche Turbo"
I'm afraid I'm going to have to charge you an extra diagnostic charge and any extra parts as the first fix we suggested (and want you to pay for) did not solve the problem. - Local vauxhall dealer - which I'm banned from, after calling said person an incompetent dick and was he on planet earth - amongst many things on a busy Saturday afternoon full of customers.
Made it worse by telling him how to fix the problem, then showing him. Then loaded the car onto trailer and left.
Audi dealer (not the service manager) trainee plugged diagnostic pc into car to try and solve rubber squeaking noise on door (known A3 fault). Came and told me could not find any fault, asked to see service manager, - and got trainee to explain what he had done.
Got told by service manager thats the tool we use to diagnose faults. I asked if listening to the customer was the first tool and then using common sense to select the logical diagnostic device would be a better idea.
Made it worse by telling him how to fix the problem, then showing him. Then loaded the car onto trailer and left.
Audi dealer (not the service manager) trainee plugged diagnostic pc into car to try and solve rubber squeaking noise on door (known A3 fault). Came and told me could not find any fault, asked to see service manager, - and got trainee to explain what he had done.
Got told by service manager thats the tool we use to diagnose faults. I asked if listening to the customer was the first tool and then using common sense to select the logical diagnostic device would be a better idea.
£199 line item for 'warranty inspection' on my last service invoice.
What's that for I asked.
For the warranty inspection I was told.
Warranty inspections are free if you have a service I said.
No they're not said service manger.
Check the home page of your website said I.
£199 was removed from invoice.
Another many, many moons ago; I picked up my Suzuki from the dealer after it had dropped ALL of its oil down the M23 and needed to be trailered back to them.
[me] What's this bill for an oil change and a sump bolt?
It needed all the oil replaced and a new sump bolt...
[me] Why did it need a new sump bolt?
Because it didn't have one, or ANY oil...
[me] I know, that's why it was trailered here...
So why are you questioning the bill?
[me] You changed the oil and sump bolt yesterday, about 45 minutes before it threw the bolt out and dumped all the honey coloured oil all over the M23 - which I payed for.
Oh yeah, we'll do this one for free, want me to clean all the engine oil from the rear wheel?
[me] Do you think?
What's that for I asked.
For the warranty inspection I was told.
Warranty inspections are free if you have a service I said.
No they're not said service manger.
Check the home page of your website said I.
£199 was removed from invoice.
Another many, many moons ago; I picked up my Suzuki from the dealer after it had dropped ALL of its oil down the M23 and needed to be trailered back to them.
[me] What's this bill for an oil change and a sump bolt?
It needed all the oil replaced and a new sump bolt...
[me] Why did it need a new sump bolt?
Because it didn't have one, or ANY oil...
[me] I know, that's why it was trailered here...
So why are you questioning the bill?
[me] You changed the oil and sump bolt yesterday, about 45 minutes before it threw the bolt out and dumped all the honey coloured oil all over the M23 - which I payed for.
Oh yeah, we'll do this one for free, want me to clean all the engine oil from the rear wheel?
[me] Do you think?
Ring Ford, wanting a genuine Single Din Fascia adaptor for a mk6 fiesta.
"These do no exist sir"
I am very confident they do
"No sir there is no trace of this part on the system, never heard of it blah blah"
Quickly found the part on FPUK
How about finis code .....?
"Oh yes sir we have one of those in group stock we can get it here for 3pm"
"These do no exist sir"
I am very confident they do
"No sir there is no trace of this part on the system, never heard of it blah blah"
Quickly found the part on FPUK
How about finis code .....?
"Oh yes sir we have one of those in group stock we can get it here for 3pm"
Badly misaligned steering wheel on a day old MINI Cooper. I said to the service guy that the wheel was way out of kilter in comparison to the level from the indicator to the wiper stalks. "Ah, the stalks aren't level" said smug arse. So I went home, grabbed the spirit level, drove back to the dealer and handed the dick the spirit level and told him to go and check. "No need said smug arse, we'll have a look at it..."
Ford main dealer (years ago)
Me - have you stamped the service book?
Service manager - yes
Me - where is it?
SM - in the car
Me - no it isn't, I gave it to you when I dropped it off
SM - Are you sure
Me - yes
SM - No it's deffo in car
Me - no it's not, where is it
SM - I think we have lost it (it had about 7 main dealer stamps in it too!) but it won't matter
Me - so what about when I sell it?
SM - Won't make any difference mate
Me - So shall I ask a salesman here to value my car with and without history?
SM - no no need to do that
Argument continues. Never used them again.
Also Fiat dealer years later wanting £500 to service a Punto - utterly ridiculous a budget car requiring such a pricey service, just because it needed spark plugs changing!
Me - have you stamped the service book?
Service manager - yes
Me - where is it?
SM - in the car
Me - no it isn't, I gave it to you when I dropped it off
SM - Are you sure
Me - yes
SM - No it's deffo in car
Me - no it's not, where is it
SM - I think we have lost it (it had about 7 main dealer stamps in it too!) but it won't matter
Me - so what about when I sell it?
SM - Won't make any difference mate
Me - So shall I ask a salesman here to value my car with and without history?
SM - no no need to do that
Argument continues. Never used them again.
Also Fiat dealer years later wanting £500 to service a Punto - utterly ridiculous a budget car requiring such a pricey service, just because it needed spark plugs changing!
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