Making Best Progress On 2 Laned Motorways.
Making Best Progress On 2 Laned Motorways.
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Discussion

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

3,188 posts

161 months

Monday 12th May 2014
quotequote all
Had to start my week with a site visit. Just before I left I was asked not to take my usual Fiesta Van but a Big VW LT full of materials instead. There are those who wouldn't be too chuft being lumbered with the LT but those in the know are aware that if driving a large van the only vehicle that will make better progress on busy(ish) two lane motorways is an emergency vehicle on blues and twos.

It does require a bit of technique mind you. Secret is to approach lane two hogging vehicles from behind with a large speed differential and maintain that speed as you close in. Whilst doing so make sure your dipped beams are on, right indicator is flashing and your offside wheel is placed on, or just over the rumblestrip, as close as one dares to the central reservation (warm dry days ensure the best conditions for said tactics as the cloud of dust kicked up adds to the car in front's mirror full of impending doom). Cars practically swerve out your road. This allows you to keep up momentum and the movement of these obstructing cars from lane two to one often catches the eye of the next vehicle in front who's attention is drawn to a mirror full of coming through. It works very well.

Anyone have even better lane clearing tactics?



Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Tuesday 13th May 00:04

talksthetorque

10,821 posts

164 months

Monday 12th May 2014
quotequote all
tank

Cliftonite

8,737 posts

167 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
.
You do mean off-side wheels, Shirley?
.

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

3,188 posts

161 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
talksthetorque said:
tank
Hmmmmmmm! would do the job. Imagine seeing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz1ecEyYwOw in you rearview mirror eek (excuse the music)


Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Tuesday 13th May 16:50

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

3,188 posts

161 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Cliftonite said:
.
You do mean off-side wheels, Shirley?
.
Edited.

The nearside wheels on the edge of the central reservation might taking thing a bit too far.

jimbop1

2,441 posts

233 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
It doesn't just work in large vans. Another tip would be to use half of the first lane if they haven't moved over quick enough to get a look at the clear road ahead...then back over to the central reservation. wink

Riley Blue

23,205 posts

255 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
You mean drive like a Belgian...

Don

28,378 posts

313 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
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All you used to need to do this was a white Escort mark III. Mine was a diesel 1.8. At the age of 23 I drove with enough conviction to ensure an even pace through the busiest of motorways. Its resemblance to a police vehicle of the time was quite enough.

At more than twice the age, however, I find my sense of self-preservation has been honed to the level where such antics are a nono

Bennet

2,133 posts

160 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Tannedbaldhead said:
driving a large van the only vehicle that will make better progress on busy(ish) two lane motorways is an emergency vehicle on blues and twos.
Tannedbaldhead said:
Large speed differential and maintain that speed as you close in ... Cars practically swerve out your road.
What you are describing here is aggressive driving. They aren't getting out of your way because they are being polite. They are thinking what a cock you probably are and that they don't want you behind them.

Tannedbaldhead said:
Anyone have even better lane clearing tactics?
I don't normally consider it my right to have other traffic move out of my way.

mnkiboy

4,409 posts

195 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
^ Get this guy a whoosh monkey

DavidJG

4,148 posts

161 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Bennet said:
Tannedbaldhead said:
driving a large van the only vehicle that will make better progress on busy(ish) two lane motorways is an emergency vehicle on blues and twos.
Tannedbaldhead said:
Large speed differential and maintain that speed as you close in ... Cars practically swerve out your road.
What you are describing here is aggressive driving. They aren't getting out of your way because they are being polite. They are thinking what a cock you probably are and that they don't want you behind them.

Tannedbaldhead said:
Anyone have even better lane clearing tactics?
I don't normally consider it my right to have other traffic move out of my way.
+1

DavidJG

4,148 posts

161 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Bennet said:
Tannedbaldhead said:
driving a large van the only vehicle that will make better progress on busy(ish) two lane motorways is an emergency vehicle on blues and twos.
Tannedbaldhead said:
Large speed differential and maintain that speed as you close in ... Cars practically swerve out your road.
What you are describing here is aggressive driving. They aren't getting out of your way because they are being polite. They are thinking what a cock you probably are and that they don't want you behind them.

Tannedbaldhead said:
Anyone have even better lane clearing tactics?
I don't normally consider it my right to have other traffic move out of my way.
+1

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

3,188 posts

161 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
[quote=Bennet
They aren't getting out of your way because they are being polite.
[/quote]

But they are getting out of my way hehe


PK0001

352 posts

206 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
A simple flash of main beam and a bit of patience always works for me.

I have noticed a lot of drivers adopt an aggressive position like this i.e positioning themselves behind the car in front in an offset position as if to get attention and put across their ' I am coming through ' message.

I always ignore this type of behaviour.

Life is too short to drive like this.

Ray Luxury-Yacht

8,918 posts

245 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Ahhh, this is so wrong really, and extremely anti-social....but at the same time, deliciously enjoyable in a bad way!

A bit like when I used to go all over the country in a LWB Sprinter, racing bikes.

We had to do many, many, boring motorway miles, which were made far worse by having to suffer a raft of idiots who can't bloody drive properly.


So, I am ashamed to admit, that we invented the sport of 'car pushing' to both help while away the hours, and maybe educate at the same time. I must point out that we were young and stupid back then, and would never do anything like this now wink

Anyway, 'car pushing' in a van goes thus: Drive along a relatively empty motorway, and come up behind an MLM numpty, sat in lane two of three, with zero traffic in lane one to their left.

Pull out of lane one, go across to lane three, and begin to overtake the MLM.

Once you have the vast, white expanse of the middle of your white van alongside the MLM, you slow slightly to match their speed, and then....you start pushing... biggrin

This means a gentle tweak left on the steering wheel, so the van begins to drift ever so slowly to the left. You start to get to the left of lane three, then 'bump - bump - bump' of the cat's eyes, and then the van starts to encroach into lane two, and ever closer to our MLM friend.

By now, if the van is about a foot into the MLM's lane, and getting close to their car, they should have started to react and begun to panic. This usually involves some main-beam flashing, and if you strain your ears enough, you can also usually hear the desperate pressing of the horn too...

Obviously one needs to be careful to watch the nearside mirror and ensure that one does not come close to actually colliding with the side of the MLM - but done carefully and slowly, this technique usually renders the MLM back to lane one, where they fkING WELL SHOULD BE!!!

And one then just accelerates away, leaving the MLM still furiously flashing their main beams, but now driving in the correct lane one...


Monstrously childish, ridiculously stupid and dangerous, not recommended - but breathtakingly funny!




pherlopolus

2,189 posts

187 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
I used to own a black elite omega in the early 2000's, I found a white shirt was the best way of making progress.

Not found a better way yet.

Who me ?

7,455 posts

241 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Early 80's I did the same in a white Sierra. But a few years ago I used to travel far and wide, usually on Saturday & Sunday afternoons on motorways, where L3 was full of 4x4 and Mercs all sitting at 75, with brake light going daft , MLM ruled L2 in some old beat up Honda sitting at 50 , and more often than not L1 was empty. My tactic was to sit slightly behind MLM in L1 and threaten to undertake, giving myself room for avoiding action. Didn't take long for the sight of a large transit looking as if it was going to undertake to make them find another 20mph .

MrBarry123

6,102 posts

150 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
quotequote all
Tannedbaldhead said:
Anyone have even better lane clearing tactics?
A plough fitted to the front of the vehicle?

Tannedbaldhead

Original Poster:

3,188 posts

161 months

Wednesday 14th May 2014
quotequote all
Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
Ahhh, this is so wrong really, and extremely anti-social....but at the same time, deliciously enjoyable in a bad way!

A bit like when I used to go all over the country in a LWB Sprinter, racing bikes.

We had to do many, many, boring motorway miles, which were made far worse by having to suffer a raft of idiots who can't bloody drive properly.


So, I am ashamed to admit, that we invented the sport of 'car pushing' to both help while away the hours, and maybe educate at the same time. I must point out that we were young and stupid back then, and would never do anything like this now wink

Anyway, 'car pushing' in a van goes thus: Drive along a relatively empty motorway, and come up behind an MLM numpty, sat in lane two of three, with zero traffic in lane one to their left.

Pull out of lane one, go across to lane three, and begin to overtake the MLM.

Once you have the vast, white expanse of the middle of your white van alongside the MLM, you slow slightly to match their speed, and then....you start pushing... biggrin

This means a gentle tweak left on the steering wheel, so the van begins to drift ever so slowly to the left. You start to get to the left of lane three, then 'bump - bump - bump' of the cat's eyes, and then the van starts to encroach into lane two, and ever closer to our MLM friend.

By now, if the van is about a foot into the MLM's lane, and getting close to their car, they should have started to react and begun to panic. This usually involves some main-beam flashing, and if you strain your ears enough, you can also usually hear the desperate pressing of the horn too...

Obviously one needs to be careful to watch the nearside mirror and ensure that one does not come close to actually colliding with the side of the MLM - but done carefully and slowly, this technique usually renders the MLM back to lane one, where they fkING WELL SHOULD BE!!!

And one then just accelerates away, leaving the MLM still furiously flashing their main beams, but now driving in the correct lane one...


Monstrously childish, ridiculously stupid and dangerous, not recommended - but breathtakingly funny!
Best way to get a switched off lane two cruiser to jump out of his skin is to sneak up on him at high speed in lane one (if he's watching his mirrors at all he'll be looking for quicker cars in lanes two and three). As you close in whip across from lane one to three as close to him as you dare whilst putting lights on full beam. The numpty has a very fast car appear out of nowhere in his mirrors and then shoot by. A race rep motorbike with loud cans is the best tool for the job and it's hard to describe unless you've seen it but catch a dreamer out and their whole car seems to jump with the fright.