First attempt at a mild rant: on round-abouts

[Redgate]

Millions of years of evolution to take us from the state of single-celled organisms to complex and evolved scientific wonders. We can write wonderful symphonies, perform life-savings operations and challenge the gods, design faster and build better and strive for perfection.

And yet, this idyllic and amazing balance turns out to be so fragile when you throw this is the mix:




This, ladies and gentlemen, is the hardest challenge known to human intelligence.

It is called a round-about.

And this particular example has the distinct ability to make me lose all faith in humanity every time I approach it.

This round-about has two exits. One directly to your left and the other to the right, once you have almost complete a full revolution clockwise. Two lanes lead to it and as the most astute amongst us have noticed, there is an arrow painted on the right lane to show you that you have no other option than, you have guessed it, go right at the round-about. Not left. Right.

The tricky part, and I use the word tricky loosely, is that once you have turned left you have the choice between two lanes again before entering the next round-about.

So why the fk is it that every fing time I have to use that fing round-about to go left, there is always at least one major ftard to use the lane on the right to take the first exit? Forcing me to take evasive actions and/or slamming on the brakes? Fing bends! Utter prks!

Fk you, you pathetic excuse for a human being! This is one of the most basic actions you have to perform when driving. Pay the fk attention to your fing surroundings! If you did not see the arrow, I beg you, from the bottom of my soul, STOP FING DRIVING!

You are probably good at something else. I recently heard that China is looking for highly-skilled individuals to paint the red and blue stripes on tennis socks. Do us all a favour and go the fk apply. You are not good at arts? No problem then. There are lots of pharmaceutical companies looking for test subjects for their new range of horse laxatives. That should keep you away from the roads long enough. Remember, you are st at driving so this new career path will be perfect for you. Still not interested? Why don’t you stay home in front of a large plate of mash potatoes and wait for Aliens to send you a message?

Oh, and I almost forgot: STOP FING DRIVING!

Next time this happens I will not be my usual patient and tolerant self. I will drag you out of your car because you clearly do not belong in it and I will shred your licence because you clearly do not deserve it. Make no mistake, I have watched all of Steven Seagal’s finest.

So, in a nutshell, if you think it is somehow OK to use the right lane to take a left, the introduction of this rant does not apply to you. Now, put the potatoes in that boiling water will you?

Edited by Redgate on Thursday 5th June 14:27

[Diderot]

In before the spelling police arrive, it's 'lose' not 'loose'.

[anonymous-user]

The only solution to this would be to destroy all humans apart from yourself.

[marshalla]

It has 3 exits.

[Redgate]

Diderot said:

In before the spelling police arrive, it's 'lose' not 'loose'.

Thanks for that. I was probably thinking about the pharmaceutical companies.

[Riley Blue]

Excessively verbose and over dramatic - and isn't the first exit more or less straight ahead, not directly to your left?

[Tickle]

That looks prime for ftards 'straightlining' too. Enter the roundabout in the straight ahead lane, kiss the roundabout by drifting right then exiting back to the left.

.... I bet that boils your ps too eh OP?

The roads are just full of knobs, give them a wide birth and leave them too it.

[Redgate]

Riley Blue said:

Excessively verbose and over dramatic - and isn't the first exit more or less straight ahead, not directly to your left?

Arguable but yes.

[Redgate]

Tickle said:

.... I bet that boils your ps too eh OP?

It does. And strangely enough that is something I see happening on this round-about too but only coming from Watford Road.

The blue line shows the road I am referring too in my first post.

[marshalla]

marshalla said:

It has 3 exits.

Whoops! I mean 4.

[VR6T Gar]

This is why I love the work van. I just stick to my lane and leave it up to the spaktard as to whether they drive into me or take avoiding action.

[Hackney]

Tickle said:

That looks prime for ftards 'straightlining' too. Enter the roundabout in the straight ahead lane, kiss the roundabout by drifting right then exiting back to the left.

.... I bet that boils your ps too eh OP?

The roads are just full of knobs, give them a wide birth and leave them too it.

After recently allowing my wife to drive the car I've noticed she does this. I've tried explaining what she's doing but she doesn't seem to get it.
I say "wife", what I mean, obviously, is "soon to be ex-wife"

[Bennet]

Just guessing:
Probably because the right lane is empty or at least emptier and abusing it this way saves time by allowing the abuser to skip past a queue. No consequences for a given type of antisocial behavior = tts rule supreme.

[0markymark0]

AFAIK The arrows are for appropriate lanes and so the right arrow is not a MUST turn right. It would have to have the words TURN RIGHT also painted in white on the road for it to be right only.

As it stands they're not breaking the HC but they are being annoying.

EDIT: Here
http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_...

[Tickle]

Hackney said:

Tickle said:

That looks prime for ftards 'straightlining' too. Enter the roundabout in the straight ahead lane, kiss the roundabout by drifting right then exiting back to the left.

.... I bet that boils your ps too eh OP?

The roads are just full of knobs, give them a wide birth and leave them too it.

After recently allowing my wife to drive the car I've noticed she does this. I've tried explaining what she's doing but she doesn't seem to get it.
I say "wife", what I mean, obviously, is "soon to be ex-wife"

You are doing the right thing, it's not worth putting up with her any longer; get rid

I generally hold back a little if I know it means running a roundabout parallel with someone. A side bump is not worth the hassle, even more so if you consider your car more than a tool to get from A - B in.

[petrolsniffer]

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@53.190034,-1.127872...

I loathe this one near me I use it everyday to go right on the first mini 70% chance of someone not bothering to give way seems most missed the bit about treating them as seperate roundabouts.

Usually I get a look to say I was in the wrong when I let them know!!! I think I've only had one person apologize.

Tbh I hardly bother using the horn anymore depends on the mood I suppose

[Matthen]

So you're entering a roundabout in the left lane, and leaving it in the right lane? Pretty sure I was taught that was incorrect, and you should maintain lane discipline around a roundabout. If you did this, you wouldn't have an issue.

It won't be long until lines and traffic lights appear on that roundabout - I can almost guarantee you'll be allowed to exit from the second lane.

[Mr GrimNasty]

St John Smythe said:

The only solution to this would be to destroy all humans apart from yourself.

Edward League of Gentlemen said:

Ha ha. Oh, Tubbs. You're good hearted. But there are too many!

[SturdyHSV]

0markymark0 said:

AFAIK The arrows are for appropriate lanes and so the right arrow is not a MUST turn right. It would have to have the words TURN RIGHT also painted in white on the road for it to be right only.

As it stands they're not breaking the HC but they are being annoying.

EDIT: Here
http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_...

Ha, good find. OP soon to be seen in the right lane going straight over

Also, if this happens so frequently, you really shouldn't keep being taken by surprise and having to haul anchor

A well presented rant though, I enjoyed the change in tone after the introduction, but ultimately, not enough venomous hatred for my tastes.

[0markymark0]

SturdyHSV said:

A well presented rant though, I enjoyed the change in tone after the introduction, but ultimately, not enough venomous hatred for my tastes.

Just say that you have the same problem with a cyclist ding it and the hatred will soon follow!!