Middle lane motorist hands me my arse on a plate

[smileymikey]

I have just been owned in such style that I can only applaud the guy. Travelling on the M5 this afternoon pretty empty and I'm in lane one at normal motorway speeds. I see I'm gaining on a white Golf Estate, oblivious to the world on the middle lane. As its so quiet I start passing him on the inside and on drawing level I give him a "I'm not cross I'm disappointed" look. He then starts matching my speed while unfolding something slowly and carefully against his steering wheel ( imagine Marcel Marceau miming the slow and careful unfolding of a tiny square of cloth that gets larger and larger and larger). I have to confess I'm hooked now and want to see where this is going and we've covered a couple of miles parallel to each other at this point. With impeccable timing he smiles and holds up the paper which reads simply C*NT across it.

Have that one on me fat bald fella I applaud your panache

Edited by smileymikey on Monday 10th October 19:10

[mac96]

smileymikey said:

I have just been owned in such style that I can only applaud the guy. Travelling on the M5 this afternoon pretty empty and I'm in lane one at normal motorway speeds. I see I'm gaining on a white Golf Estate, oblivious to the world on the middle lane. As its so quiet I start passing him on the inside and on drawing level I give him a "I'm not cross I'm disappointed" look. He then starts matching my speed while unfolding something slowly and carefully against his steering wheel ( imagine Marcel Marceau miming the slow and careful unfolding of a tiny square of cloth that gets larger and larger and larger). I have to confess I'm hooked now and want to see where this is going and we've covered a couple of miles parallel to each other at this point. With impeccable timing he smiles and holds up the paper which reads simply C*NT across it.

Have that one on me fat bald fella I applaud your panache

Edited by smileymikey on Monday 10th October 19:10

A certain style, yes, but if he makes a habit of it he's in for trouble! He'd better hope he gets a plain clothes copper before he gets a total psycho.

[X5TUU]

Clearly happens to him often and he gives not a single st about it ... lol

[Einion Yrth]

Should have orbited the tosser a couple of times.

If the road's empty enough, retrograde orbits are even more fun.

(Not that I'd ever do that officer, honest.)

Edited by Einion Yrth on Monday 10th October 19:25

[Petrolhead_Rich]

smileymikey said:

I have just been owned in such style that I can only applaud the guy. Travelling on the M5 this afternoon pretty empty and I'm in lane one at normal motorway speeds. I see I'm gaining on a white Golf Estate, oblivious to the world on the middle lane. As its so quiet I start passing him on the inside and on drawing level I give him a "I'm not cross I'm disappointed" look. He then starts matching my speed while unfolding something slowly and carefully against his steering wheel ( imagine Marcel Marceau miming the slow and careful unfolding of a tiny square of cloth that gets larger and larger and larger). I have to confess I'm hooked now and want to see where this is going and we've covered a couple of miles parallel to each other at this point. With impeccable timing he smiles and holds up the paper which reads simply C*NT across it.

Have that one on me fat bald fella I applaud your panache

Edited by smileymikey on Monday 10th October 19:10

Strange that he carries a piece of paper with him that has his name/description on it?

[Cliftonite]

But you surely knew what he was before he went to so much trouble to tell you?

[anonymous-user]

Why did he show you his ID?

[Centurion07]

You know you now have to keep a similar piece of paper in your car with a witty riposte on the off-chance you happen across him again, don't you?

[Oakey]

Clearly he'd been sat middle laning for some time waiting for this opportunity to arise?

[Ari]

Einion Yrth said:

Should have orbited the tosser a couple of times.

If the road's empty enough, retrograde orbits are even more fun.

(Not that I'd ever do that officer, honest.)

You'd have to seriously not have enough going on in your life to bother doing this even once, surely?

[Sheets Tabuer]

Excellent, I like to do circles on them, pass on the outside and then pull in to the left lane and let them pass, you can usually circle them 10 times before they catch on.

[Disastrous]

Excellent. I love him!

[smileymikey]

I only wish I could do justice to the situation. With words.

I was laughing so much the car nearly ended up in the fields.

[greygoose]

Whilst I know it is a hanging offence on PH, I often middle lane at night on the motorway as the inside lane is heavily rutted by lorries which makes for a bouncy ride with my wide tyres and a police instructor I went driving with once said it was safer as more chance of spotting deer etc coming across the road than being in the inside lane. A pre prepared sign seems a little ott though.

[Shoegrip]

greygoose said:

Whilst I know it is a hanging offence on PH, I often middle lane at night on the motorway as the inside lane is heavily rutted by lorries which makes for a bouncy ride with my wide tyres and a police instructor I went driving with once said it was safer as more chance of spotting deer etc coming across the road than being in the inside lane. A pre prepared sign seems a little ott though.

The moment you take instruction from PH is when you need to have a word with yourself.

Nothing wrong with MLM on an empty motorway but look out for others closing on you and pull in left so you don't impede them.

[boxst]

NeMiSiS said:

If you are munching many miles then you could get your point across with this....

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=text+display+in+...

Flat see through one ... https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tracom-traffic-...

[Europa1]

I know the chances of you ever encountering such a person again are infinitessimal, but presumably from now on you will be travelling with a folded piece of paper with "You are indeed, and not just a normal , but a world class, 24 carat " or some other riposte written on it?

[Through the gears]

I was on the motorway in lane 1, car in lane 2 with 4 cars sat behind.
I went past in lane 1.The woman phoned my company up for 'undertaking' and not indicating. She said to my manager her and passenger are both off duty traffic officers and will be reporting me when she finished the journey.

My reply to manager was well if she is a traffic offcer she should know better to be sat in lane 2 at 65mph and will quite happily see her in court.
If I was her I would have been more worried about the Transit inches off her back bumper.

What a surprise not heard anything.

[CDP]

Sheets Tabuer said:

Excellent, I like to do circles on them, pass on the outside and then pull in to the left lane and let them pass, you can usually circle them 10 times before they catch on.

I wondered if anybody else did this. It should be in the highway code

[Lotus Notes]

You should have nodded in agreement, smiled and then pointed at him...