Timewasters - nukem from the orbit
Discussion
It is a little rant here, sorry, but I have to unload my frustration.
I did not get it why people put "no timewasters, please" (or compatible) in advs here - I am not native, so I though it's kind or idiom or tradition or whocares. Or maybe it is about internet spamers and so?
Until I try to sell my first car in UK (more-less now, not on PH but other websites). To understand a bit - we talk about SotW, not about car: 20yrs lexus GS with 600 pricetag, on short MOT and not mint, but driveable and ok.
This is bloody unbelievable, what kind of questions, issues, "negotiations" I got from potential buyers - before any visit! I try to be polite but yesterday I was close to answer "I HAVE NO IDEA OF MPGS AND THERE IS NO TRIP COMPUTER IN GS FOR REASON - IF YOU HAVE TO ASK ABOUT MGPS OF 3.0 LITRE 200HP EXECUTIVE, YOU COULD NOT AFFORD THIS CAR".
And today I was close to put disclaimer on both adverts, second paragraph like "Before you ask me question about any issue not included in my description, please, do this: open Halfords page with "all bikes", sort high to low price, and scroll to page with bikes in price range of this car. Next rethink your question. If still in doubt, buy the bike. Thank you for your cooperation."
It is only me, it is my bad luck, or it is normal here? Enlight me, please.
I did not get it why people put "no timewasters, please" (or compatible) in advs here - I am not native, so I though it's kind or idiom or tradition or whocares. Or maybe it is about internet spamers and so?
Until I try to sell my first car in UK (more-less now, not on PH but other websites). To understand a bit - we talk about SotW, not about car: 20yrs lexus GS with 600 pricetag, on short MOT and not mint, but driveable and ok.
This is bloody unbelievable, what kind of questions, issues, "negotiations" I got from potential buyers - before any visit! I try to be polite but yesterday I was close to answer "I HAVE NO IDEA OF MPGS AND THERE IS NO TRIP COMPUTER IN GS FOR REASON - IF YOU HAVE TO ASK ABOUT MGPS OF 3.0 LITRE 200HP EXECUTIVE, YOU COULD NOT AFFORD THIS CAR".
And today I was close to put disclaimer on both adverts, second paragraph like "Before you ask me question about any issue not included in my description, please, do this: open Halfords page with "all bikes", sort high to low price, and scroll to page with bikes in price range of this car. Next rethink your question. If still in doubt, buy the bike. Thank you for your cooperation."
It is only me, it is my bad luck, or it is normal here? Enlight me, please.
Boni said:
And today I was close to put disclaimer on both adverts, second paragraph like "Before you ask me question about any issue not included in my description, please, do this: open Halfords page with "all bikes", sort high to low price, and scroll to page with bikes in price range of this car. Next rethink your question. If still in doubt, buy the bike. Thank you for your cooperation."
Please do - 
great idea...
but yes, life is full of idiots...
Boni said:
And today I was close to put disclaimer on both adverts, second paragraph like "Before you ask me question about any issue not included in my description, please, do this: open Halfords page with "all bikes", sort high to low price, and scroll to page with bikes in price range of this car. Next rethink your question. If still in doubt, buy the bike. Thank you for your cooperation."

Like it!
Two options:
1. Deal with the questions no matter how annoying
2. Ignore
Depends how much you value your time.
In my experience I can easily tell who's a serious buyer by the questions they ask and the tone they write in. So I ignore anyone else. May miss out on a few good customers but I'm willing to take that chance.
1. Deal with the questions no matter how annoying
2. Ignore
Depends how much you value your time.
In my experience I can easily tell who's a serious buyer by the questions they ask and the tone they write in. So I ignore anyone else. May miss out on a few good customers but I'm willing to take that chance.
surveyor said:
If the advert is as clear as the post I kind of understand the questions...
If you want to play grammar nazi here, you missed the point. If you did not understand anything in my post, be my guest, ask the question - I am Zen Master of Answers to Moronic Questions this week.BTW grammar nazi - as I said, I am not native; I am not in the position to rant about somebodys English here, but most emails I got are like this (copy-pasted):
"hi there you stoll got the old girl for sale do you think it will pass it's MOT with just the exhaust Seals getting fixed [...]"
But I could handle this, even if it is not shakespearean enough for my taste. Problem is, I put exactly this in advert: "I planned to fix exhaust's seals and trust to pass MOT with flying colours". But the guy still asked like above.
Boni said:
surveyor said:
If the advert is as clear as the post I kind of understand the questions...
If you want to play grammar nazi here, you missed the point. If you did not understand anything in my post, be my guest, ask the question - I am Zen Master of Answers to Moronic Questions this week.BTW grammar nazi - as I said, I am not native; I am not in the position to rant about somebodys English here, but most emails I got are like this (copy-pasted):
"hi there you stoll got the old girl for sale do you think it will pass it's MOT with just the exhaust Seals getting fixed [...]"
But I could handle this, even if it is not shakespearean enough for my taste. Problem is, I put exactly this in advert: "I planned to fix exhaust's seals and trust to pass MOT with flying colours". But the guy still asked like above.
I often add stuff like the following below an advert if I get too many timewasters.
For example, selling a lens at the moment. £2900 or thereabouts new - and desperados trying to knock it down by telling me they can get a 10 year old one cheaper. No sh8t Sherlock.
'** I am getting a few timewasters telling me they can buy a cheaper lens (which either turns out to be an older lens or, in one case, a previous model). My advice is to buy that lens instead if you prefer it.'
Fair enough, if they are asking for car specs like MPG, but they are right to be concerned about faults and getting past an MOT - maybe they want to suss out if you are straight or not?
For example, selling a lens at the moment. £2900 or thereabouts new - and desperados trying to knock it down by telling me they can get a 10 year old one cheaper. No sh8t Sherlock.
'** I am getting a few timewasters telling me they can buy a cheaper lens (which either turns out to be an older lens or, in one case, a previous model). My advice is to buy that lens instead if you prefer it.'
Fair enough, if they are asking for car specs like MPG, but they are right to be concerned about faults and getting past an MOT - maybe they want to suss out if you are straight or not?
Edited by fido on Friday 31st March 18:50
fido said:
For example, selling a lens at the moment. £2900 or thereabouts new - and desperados trying to knock it down by telling me they can get a 10 year old one cheaper. No sh8t Sherlock.
'** I am getting a few timewasters telling me they can buy a cheaper lens (which either turns out to be an older lens or, in one case, a previous model). My advice is to buy that lens instead if you prefer it.'
Fair enough, if they are asking for car specs like MPG, but they are right to be concerned about faults and getting past an MOT - maybe they want to suss out if you are straight or not?
Yeah, but do you really think you (or they) could check me out if I am straight by bloody email? I get it if you phone me and ask same issues as in advert (maybe you are great mentalist, who knows) or best way, visit and talk face to face, with all your bullcrap detectors in DEFCON2. I like this way as buyer too! But not by email or text, please, it's stupid and only waste of time of both parties...'** I am getting a few timewasters telling me they can buy a cheaper lens (which either turns out to be an older lens or, in one case, a previous model). My advice is to buy that lens instead if you prefer it.'
Fair enough, if they are asking for car specs like MPG, but they are right to be concerned about faults and getting past an MOT - maybe they want to suss out if you are straight or not?
OTOH I really started to put something like your disclaimer, for every guy doubted about future MOT - "I suggest you could wait two weeks, until I will do MOT". Some of them answered like "I'd be happy to wait, but it may be sold by then". NO WAY SHERLOCK.
One more thing I missed in first post - it's my 15th private car selling (if I count correctly, I am not sure). So I am familiar with situation, but never have seen before such flow and grade of "smart-in-own-way people".
I have found when selling a cheaper vehicle it is better to state
No texts, no emails,if you are interested in the car then please ring me.
Be aware that you will get people who will want to know about the fault, and also people who are hoping to get the car cheap and flip it.
If you have the work done and can present it with a new mot then you will get a different type of buyer.
However the market for a tired thirsty executive car will be small, at £600 it may make sense to break it.
Cold said:
Would I buy a car from the OP? 
Tree of gum or Traders from Auto webpages, if you know what I mean 


Yes, I know after MOT I will have in my yard 5 guys fighting for car, figuratively speaking - exactly that was situation and deal for our newer lex, with fresh MOT. And yes, scrapyard is always an option, but car is mucho mucho too good for scrap.
Edited by Boni on Friday 31st March 22:48
The worst I've done for sellers and tyre kickers was flogging my CG125 for £700. I would have thought a well sorted little motorcycle that does 120mpg being sold for the price of a decent exhaust and a new chain for a proper motorbike would have been piss easy. Unfortunately, it attracted all sorts of time wasters and d
heads. Wisdom has it that 125's are a piece of piss to sell but I was tempted to wheel that f
ker into the Tyne on more than one occasiom.


OP, your adverts - particularly the Gumtree one - are far too 'wordy'. I'd just stick to the bare facts. I know you'd like to effuse over your love for the car but, quite frankly, no-one's likely to be bothered. Too long a description (particularly in a non-native tongue) comes across as a bit 'desperate' - sometimes 'less is more'. Also, I wouldn't even bother mentioning the (very limited) 'customising' - I'd imagine that would put many people off.
Good luck with the sale - I'm sure there's someone out there who wants it...
Good luck with the sale - I'm sure there's someone out there who wants it...
280E said:
OP, your adverts - particularly the Gumtree one - are far too 'wordy'. I'd just stick to the bare facts. I know you'd like to effuse over your love for the car but, quite frankly, no-one's likely to be bothered. Too long a description (particularly in a non-native tongue) comes across as a bit 'desperate' - sometimes 'less is more'. Also, I wouldn't even bother mentioning the (very limited) 'customising' - I'd imagine that would put many people off.
And EXACTLY for this reason I mention "customising"! it is not a bonus, it's warning... I don't want to invite the guy from Inverness to Glasgow (real folk) to hear "wait a moment, you ruined all dash and you lost original indicators and there are not original rims and you call this classic? are you f... kidding me?". FYI I experienced a lot of ugly situations like this before (I modify my cars cheap, easy and mindless, and next I got a zylions complaints from fans of brand or model or from potential buyers, who frantically stick to "factory original piece of crap", sorry, "of spec").And for every one advice about car adverts like your "less is more" I got another advice "more is more", like "put more pictures and full description, it's 50% more chances for success". My idea is - nobody has clue what is efficient or not in this kinds of advertising, everybody guessing by anecdata.
Thank you for wish me luck.
Edited by Boni on Saturday 1st April 15:49
I have a big soft spot for GS300s after years lusting after an Aristo, but my honest opinion is that in its current state, your car is simply too much. GSs have practically no interest or following around them to work with the 'classic' angle (and I suspect never will). They have no value to breakers because, well, its a typically over engineered 90s Toyota product meaning catastrophic failures are virtually unheard of. This fact will also dent the value of your car having relatively low mileage, because an objectively tidier example with 50,000+ miles more isn't really much more likely to throw up big bills or breakdown. And this is all before we get to the, "patina", that your car has.
The MOT running out a month before the ad went live is also going to be a massive turn off. Claiming to have the parts sitting on the shelf for a simple that is allegedly the only barrier between it and a MOT certificate, but for some inexplicable reason not having the work done is even more off putting IMO. Even if you can't get the work done yourself, a failure sheet in hand specifying only the exhaust gaskets as a reason for failure makes that car a LOT more attractive.
Unfortunately even with a full mot, 600 may be pushing it. There are more than a handful of objectively tidier looking GS300s currently listed or recently completed on ebay that just about around that sort of money with fairly long MOTs. Primarily MK2s, granted, but to 99.999% of potential GS buyers, a car potentially only two years younger and much more modern looking/feeling is going to be a bonus, rather than a detractor. And if you must have a MK1, a few hundred pounds more (at least what would have to be spent on a wheel refurb and sorting out the rusty wing) puts you into the top end of the market, if you ignore the jokers asking 5k for a Sport.
I genuinely don't mean to be rude, just trying to give some advice. Best of luck with the sale.
The MOT running out a month before the ad went live is also going to be a massive turn off. Claiming to have the parts sitting on the shelf for a simple that is allegedly the only barrier between it and a MOT certificate, but for some inexplicable reason not having the work done is even more off putting IMO. Even if you can't get the work done yourself, a failure sheet in hand specifying only the exhaust gaskets as a reason for failure makes that car a LOT more attractive.
Unfortunately even with a full mot, 600 may be pushing it. There are more than a handful of objectively tidier looking GS300s currently listed or recently completed on ebay that just about around that sort of money with fairly long MOTs. Primarily MK2s, granted, but to 99.999% of potential GS buyers, a car potentially only two years younger and much more modern looking/feeling is going to be a bonus, rather than a detractor. And if you must have a MK1, a few hundred pounds more (at least what would have to be spent on a wheel refurb and sorting out the rusty wing) puts you into the top end of the market, if you ignore the jokers asking 5k for a Sport.
I genuinely don't mean to be rude, just trying to give some advice. Best of luck with the sale.
Edited by 279 on Saturday 1st April 22:11
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