What would PH-made car advert contain?

[AppleJuice]

Going on from the PH The Apprentice 2017 thread:

BBC said:

Next Week

Advertising - Cars

Lord Sugar instructs the candidates to create advertising campaigns for a brand new car. The teams take two paths - one half produce a television advert, while the other create a digital billboard advert. Both teams must then pitch their finished campaigns to industry experts.

What cliches would PHers include in an advert?

I'll start...

• White paint

Edited by AppleJuice on Wednesday 8th November 20:35

Edited by AppleJuice on Wednesday 8th November 22:00

[jmorgan]

One massive argument.

And some wheels, not all the same size.

[IanJ9375]

Would have to be a remapped Golf R or 335d lol

[alorotom]

Coke and hookers and an mx5??

Maybe sausages and a chap dominating some stairs??

[Mr-B]

Just an MX5.

And some custard.

[anonymous-user]

Maybe the floodgates of hell opening as the customer signed the PCP agreement

[blearyeyedboy]

Material for a complaint to be upheld by the Advertising Standards Authority, I reckon.

[limpsfield]

jmorgan said:

One massive argument.

And some wheels, not all the same size.

And every who signed it off would love it- then go and buy a diesel saloon.

[cuprabob]

Frozen sausages

[vikingaero]

Thank you for clicking to view my Hugo Testes RS69. This is a beast of a car that should not be driven by the inexperienced. Being RWD it is a pure and sublime driving experience. It is a pleasure to drive and the three litre straight six allows maximum thrustage along any road. As a PH Driving God I am able to drift it using only one hand - the other I use to pleasure my female passenger. It has been garaged and treated weekly with Collinite 606 which is far superior to any other wax/sealant on the market despite what those pricks on Detailing World claim.

The car is a carriage for gentlemen and liveried in Octopus Ink Black with fine metallic mica. It has the benefit of a full main dealer service history with additional oil changes carried out personally by me. The bodywork is in outstanding condition as is the interior. It has covered 56,000 miles

No offers as I do not need to sell this car. No test pilots. No-one who wants to pay with vulgar finance such as Zuto. If you can't afford to buy it outright you can't afford to run it. No texts. I reserve the right to vet your family history and right to work documents. Readers of The Daily Mail will appreciate the brand and lineage of this impressive motor.

[jmorgan]

limpsfield said:

jmorgan said:

One massive argument.

And some wheels, not all the same size.

And every who signed it off would love it- then go and buy a diesel saloon.

It would have to be for the discerning powerfully built company director with a Sid James snigger horn or Leslie Phillips ding dong horn.

[AppleJuice]

///M badge or tri-colour grille on a 316d ES riding on 16" alloy wheels

Edited by AppleJuice on Wednesday 8th November 20:52

[lucido grigio]

A V8

[limpsfield]

AppleJuice said:

What cliches would PHers include in an advert?

I'll start...

• White paint

Would not include the price or a monthly PCP/lease cost.

#WealthWhispers

[Leins]

Surely they'll spend most of the programme trying to come up with a name

I vote for the "Imagine"

[Yipper]