The Brave Pill: Mercedes-Benz S600L (W211)
12 cylinders, 12mpg, and the strong possibility of a 12 grand bill somewhere down the line. Meet the ne plus ultra of Brave Pills...
It was always going to require something special to divert Brave Pill from our course of not-quite-exotic V8s. This is definitely that car - a Mercedes S600L, sporting 99,000 miles and being sold with an advert which could politely be described as taking a minimalist approach to detail.
This is one for those who make clanking sounds when they walk. The S600 is the most expensive and failure-prone version of a car that is already regarded as a high watermark for unexpected bills, the W221-generation S-Class. As such you might regard it as going some way beyond brave, skidding through foolhardy and getting embedded in the gravel trap of stupid. I'll fully understand if your reaction is similar to Captain Blackadder's response to one of General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett's less attractive offers: "frankly sir, I'd rather sit on top of a stepladder in No Man's Land smoking endless cigarettes through a luminous balaclava."
Yet parsed on a per-pound, per-horse or even per-kilo basis, the S600L offers a huge amount of car for a sub-supermini outlay. The dice may be heavily loaded, but it's hard to resist the temptation to throw them. A decade ago the W221 was widely acknowledged to be the finest luxury saloon in the world, and the S600 has a twin-turbocharged V12 that makes 510hp while barely flexing its muscles. It has more toys than Ann Summers and the sort of road presence that makes spectators think of the groom's convoy at a Chechen warlord's wedding. When new it cost £102,000 before a single options box was ticked. 13 years on and this would could be yours for nine grand. Likely less, the magic letters 'ono' suggest a degree of wriggle-room. It has cost a pound a mile in depreciation alone.
At its launch in 2006 the W221 marked a new era for Mercedes design. Its predecessor, the W220, had been a bit new age and touchy-feely, the first S-Class to be smaller than the model it replaced and with design that seemed keen to emphasise a visual relationship with its more humble siblings rather than project presence. While a fine car, it looked like an oversized C-Class from most angles.
Not so the W221, which was more than happy to be in touch with its dark side. The exterior was penned by Gordon Wagener, who has since gone on to become Merc's design supremo, and his brief was clearly to make the proles realise they were looking at something important and expensive. Front end styling is forceful enough to clear outside lanes, even without outriders, and while the rear took inspiration from the even eff-offier Maybach that Merc was still trying to flog at the time. Overall the S-Class was a far more coherent piece of design than its fatter, posher sister.
It was cleverer, too. Mercedes has long regarded the S-Class as its tech showcase and the W221 had more firsts than a convention of rocket scientists. Indeed a fair amount of the stuff it pioneered is only just getting into the mainstream now, including one of the first applications for a digital instrument pack - albeit the pixel speed display was flanked by conventional needle gauges for revs, fuel and temperature. Other highlights included radar cruise, Pre-Safe active crash mitigation, active lights and the option of an infrared Night View system.
Engine choice was considerable. At the bottom of the range was a diesel V6 which always made up the majority of sales in the UK, and can still be found in abundance working the limo-for-rent market. There were also two six-cylinder petrol engines - which pretty much nobody bought here. But further up the hierarchy, Mercedes clearly felt concerned that rich buyers would feel short of options, so offered both a naturally aspirated V8 and no fewer than three variants making more than 500hp. In addition to the 518hp V8-powered S63 AMG there were two V12s, the 'regular' S600, with a 5.5-litre version of Merc's 'M275' V12, and an even more ridiculous 6.0-litre S65 AMG which put out 604hp and a truck-rivalling 738lb ft.
While the S65 might have appealed to those determined to have the biggest numbers, the supposedly lesser S600 arguably suited the S-Class's character considerably better. Performance is, genuinely, effortless - only a gently flexed toe on the heavy, long travel throttle pedal is necessary to wake the big engine from its slumber and get lesser traffic moving backwards. Push harder and the longitudinal G-forces grow proportionately, but the V12 never feels stressed or even strained. The official 5.3-second 0-62mph time only tells a small part of the story; at full throttle the rate of acceleration barely seems to diminish all the way to where the limiter calls time.
Although launched after Mercedes had introduced its 7G seven-speed auto, the 600 and 65 both stuck with the earlier five-speeder as the new 'box was unable to deal with their torque peaks. The breadth of the engine's muscle means it never feels short of ratios. From memory of a factory-fresh press car, the S600's natural cruising pace is around 125mph, which outstanding soundproofing and double glazing really does make feel like around half that.
Bringing us to this one, and the scant details offered by the terse text of the advert. The vendor promises that it is fully loaded, but doesn't give any more detail beyond listing the somewhat unlikely fitment of a detachable tow bar - can you imagine a more spectacular tug for a caravan holiday? Pictures reveal this car has the factory rear-seat entertainment system, with screens integrated into the front headrests; also that it has what looks like a length of climbing rope in the spare wheel well. We're promised both excellent condition and full service history; interested parties can doubtless get more detail by calling up. On the plus side, the pictures reveal what look like four matching Michelins and the online MOT history doesn't reveal anything scary.
Not that, even if immaculate, any S600L will be cheap to run. Fuel consumption that is likely to average the mid-teens is the least of your worries, as is VED that is just two months inside the introduction of the £555 rate on this one. Bills are likely to come frequently and heavily, the S600 capable of melting savings accounts faster than a drunken weekend in Las Vegas. Routine servicing is punishing enough - it has 24 spark plugs - with out-of-routine costs likely from the air suspension and flaky electrics. Owners report that coil packs seem to be made from conductive chocolate; they cost around £1,000 to replace and the car has two of them. ECUs can also bug out, which means £3,000 before labour.
But let's not turn this into a litany of potential woe. That's not what Brave Pill is about - we're here to celebrate the reward rather than the risk. The monstrous V12 is easily tunable if that's your thing, the core mechanical bits are massively strong, and there can be few comfier places to sit if you do find yourself waiting for a recovery truck. Plus which, there's always somebody braver, PHer WorldBoss is already documenting his adventures with a £3K, 212,000-mile version. Maximum respect.
Compared to contemporary Range Rovers, Bentleys and Maserati's I'd say this one is far less likely to throw up frequent massive bills.
I'm not saying it won't go wrong but this is where I'd put my own money.
I had a CL65 with the fabulous V12 engine it was very low mileage and full MB history and it still cost me a fortune.
The coil packs are the first thing to worry about, they go at £1200 per side. Although Mercedes did improve the design of the replacements so that they resisted the heat which was generally the cause of failure. Of course MB knowing they had designed an item with an inherent fault said f**k you and offered no contribution towards the cost of the better replacements.
Mine required a new handbrake system at £700 and of course no warranty covers such items so like the coil packs it's deep pocket time.
I've logged my ownership experience, costs etc in the Readers Cars section titled CL65 a fast barge.
Having got a small part of the negative side out of the way they are fantastic cars once on the move the way they pick up speed is like being in a cartoon with the scenery whizzing past you in a blur. You never ever feel there is not enough power. Mine had a Quaife LSD (almost a pun there) which did improve the power being put down. They also have double glazing and are supremely quiet and relaxing on a long trip. Believe it or not I got 18 mpg regardless of how I drove it not bad for a 600+ BHP car.
As most of us know warranty companies can be reluctant to pay out if things go wrong in a big way. So unless you buy a newish car and are prepared to pay MB a small fortune every year for their warranty which requires proper servicing, as lovely as these cars are walk away and buy something else. Because at some stage they will throw up a succession of big bills that will make a grown man cry.
Just checked my records the handbrake system was £1000 still what's an extra £300 with one of these.
Compared to contemporary Range Rovers, Bentleys and Maserati's I'd say this one is far less likely to throw up frequent massive bills.
I'm not saying it won't go wrong but this is where I'd put my own money.
But what the hell, run it for a year and it’s unlikely to depreciate any more, unlike what happened to the poor rich guy who bought it new.
A friend has one (also the v12), and I was surprised how noisy and rough the v12 sounded (ok, still pretty smooth compared to most cars). Very disappointing. A Lexus would be a much safer bet.
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff