Commenting you don't like someones car and a readers thread

[miken2k8]

and getting abuse off people of why comment? why? it's a discussion forum

[CraigyMc]

miken2k8 said:

and getting abuse off people of why comment? why? it's a discussion forum

Depends a lot on how you present it.

If you are funny and add something to the forum, great.

If you st in someone's chips then people will rightly tell you to hoppit.

It's not difficult.

[2xChevrons]

As in real life, there are good ways to do it and bad ways.

If I put up something about my old Mini and someone replies "God, I hate these. Awful driving position, stiff ride, pathetic heater, like being in a spin drier at anything over 40mph, leak like a sieve, horrible to work on and dissolve like an Alka Seltzer. Driven by blinkered fanatics and old Boomers trying to recapture their youth, all tarted up with cheap catalogue crap to look like their idea of a Cooper. Rather have a MK1 Escort or an Imp" I may not agree with them but it's an articulate and insightful contribution to a discussion that might get a discussion going.

If they just go "Rubbish. Only 30 horsepower??? Deathtrap - Kill It With Fire lmao! Rather have a Golf R!" then it's just a drive-by slagging off, peeling out whatever thought was uppermost in the poster's mind and sticking it on the internet.

[Cloudy147]

"if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all" is a general good rule of life.

Just be nice. If you appear rude, people tend to be rude back.

[anonymous-user]

miken2k8 said:

and getting abuse off people of why comment? why? it's a discussion forum

The only reason you do it is because you have the anonymity of the internet, you wouldn't do it in person face to face. Absolutely right to get called out on it.

[Fastdruid]

I think on a readers car thread it's a case of if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything.

The thing that *does* annoy me however is if someone gives an opinion on a more general thread on a car and the owners of the same car (ie not the one being mentioned, just they happen to have the same model) then feel the need to be abusive.

For example someone was to say "I don't like the look of the current BMW M4" you'll get some knob jockey who owns one telling them they're "wrong" for having an opinion on it, trawling through their history and making comments belittling their car history, probably going on about how they couldn't afford one etc when in reality people have very different tastes and different priorities for their money. It's the main reason I removed "my garage".

Taking it to the extremes as an example I can't afford a Bentley Bentayga but even if I was a billionaire and could afford to buy a new every week when the previous one ran out of fuel...I still wouldn't because it's a hideous monstrosity and not having one is nothing to do with my financial status.

[Limpet]

GLS said:

miken2k8 said:

and getting abuse off people of why comment? why? it's a discussion forum

The only reason you do it is because you have the anonymity of the internet, you wouldn't do it in person face to face. Absolutely right to get called out on it.

The golden rule of online discussion, IMO.

Not only should you avoid saying anything online that you wouldn’t say in person, but also bear in mind that the written word does not convey the nuances and intonation of the spoken word, and therefore comments may not always be interpreted in the spirit that they were taken. Sarcasm in particular almost always comes across as obnoxious when done in writing, yet can often be ice breaking and even disarming face-to-face

[F1GTRUeno]

I'm pretty sure if someone came to me (especially given I didn't know them as per general forum members) and showed me their C-HR or Juke, I wouldn't be able to tell them I liked it. Surely then I'd be able to tell them on a forum that I don't like their car as I'm not using anonymity to hide away from it and wouldn't say anything different in real life?

I don't expect them to think everyone likes it either. Nor do I expect everyone to like my car either. You choose what you put into the online space, you don't get to choose how it's reacted to.

Golden rule of the internet is surely to expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised if you don't get it?

[Stick Legs]

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

This thread shows how it should be.

OP knew these cars were not popular, a little self deprecation went a long way.

[Bill]

F1GTRUeno said:

I don't expect them to think everyone likes it either. Nor do I expect everyone to like my car either. You choose what you put into the online space, you don't get to choose how it's reacted to.

That cuts both ways though. If you're obnoxious about someone's P&J then don't be surprised and/or upset when you get some back.

[DonkeyApple]

F1GTRUeno said:

I'm pretty sure if someone came to me (especially given I didn't know them as per general forum members) and showed me their C-HR or Juke, I wouldn't be able to tell them I liked it. Surely then I'd be able to tell them on a forum that I don't like their car as I'm not using anonymity to hide away from it and wouldn't say anything different in real life?

I don't expect them to think everyone likes it either. Nor do I expect everyone to like my car either. You choose what you put into the online space, you don't get to choose how it's reacted to.

Golden rule of the internet is surely to expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised if you don't get it?

You don't get to chose what others say but that shouldn't stop you from being hopeful that some low functioning, broken chav hasn't staggered into your vicinity with a need to announce to the world how rubbish their life is.

That's the problem with the virtual pub, no robust door policy but the upside of PH's old style format is that it tends to attract enough people who are literate and we're taught manners by their parents while deterring much of the social detritus who favour more simplistic media.

But when you get those posts of someone just being offensive about what is someone's personal possession that they clearly like, I think the vast majority of us just view that poster as one of those sad drunks who has staggered into the wrong pub and starts spouting barely intelligible pseudo English while everyone looks on with utter pity at what a complete mess that person's life is to have driven them to that behaviour.

Ultimately, it's just a single step away from a tramp shouting 'your mum' to anyone who might listen. You feel sad for them because life just hasn't worked out well and they know it.

[Court_S]

Cloudy147 said:

"if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all" is a general good rule of life.

Just be nice. If you appear rude, people tend to be rude back.

This, especially if it’s a thread about someone’s car.

There are naturally cars that I don’t like, but rather than being a tt and pissing on their chips, I just skip the thread.

[ClaphamGT3]

Cloudy147 said:

"if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything at all" is a general good rule of life.

Just be nice. If you appear rude, people tend to be rude back.

Very much nails the issue. If asked a direct question, be truthful but tactful - "not something that I would have chosen, but we all have different tastes" - otherwise, don't say anything that would have made Nanny cross.

[thatdude]

Someone liks their thing, shocker. Don't piss on other peoples chips, we all have diffrent tastes and if somehting is making someone happy it's just not fair to bring them down by making them feel bad about a choice they are happy with.

I'd only comment if I saw something that was glaringly wrong "Yeah, it's a really nice car / bike, but Ive noticed something not right with the wheel / engine sound / bonnet alignment".

There's a guy at work, he bought a harley. He's well pleased with it, dead chuffed, loves it. I hate th bloody things but I was happy for him because he was happy. I had a good look, made my compliments (to be fair it is a very nice example) and didnt make him fel st. I could have done, because harleys are bloody aweful, but what would I get out of it?

Dont piss on someone elses chips, lest they piss on yours.

[thatdude]

Just to add OP, I;ve had a little look through your post history - you generaly dont post many things that are positive, you seem to take quite a negative attitude.

Now, being honest with yourself, is this something that carries over into the rest of your life? Are you quick to knock someone? Keen to gossip about someones life choices behind their back?

I get a feeling you might have some issues in your own life, perhaps feeling inadequate, unhappy, maybe some resentment things havnt turned out how you hoped at whatever age you are. I feel you might be trying to bring people down to your level, rather than trying to get up to theirs.

have a think about your approach to people. Generally, treat people as you wish to be treated. If you want to be treated nicely, be nice as well.

[SidewaysSi]

Some people are overly sensitive - so someone you don't know on the Internet thinks your car is a bit cack. So what?! Cars tend to get people all tribal and a bit worked up which is somewhat hilarious.

But at the end of the day, I couldn't care less what someone drives as long as they enjoy it and it makes them happy. I think any interesting car, irrespective of what it is should be celebrated and we all need to get joy from these things on wheels.

A car guy is a car guy and in the current climate that is more important than ever.

Enjoy in good health folks - drive, burn some fuel and create some smiles and memories. That's what it's all about.

[carinaman]

'You sound almost as dull as your car' is more a personal attack on someone than a criticism of their car.

[b14]

thatdude said:

I was happy for him because he was happy

EXACTLY

Often negative comments are precipitated by jealousy and the need to make the commentor feel better about their personal situation. For a long time i went through a phase when I was younger of being jealous of other people's happiness and as a result trying to find ways of justifying to myself, internally, that they are actually wrong in their happiness (i.e. what they had achieved / bought / earnt etc was actually not very good) and therefore I was ok for not having what they had. For some I guess they feel comfortable externalising those feelings, when behind the veil of anonymity online. These people are also often actually secretly happy when things don't go well for others, that were otherwise highly achieving.

For a long time now though it is clear to me that the really kind, sensible and mature people in this world are happy for others, when things go well, rather than trying to do them down. It has genuinely changed my life, having a different outlook whereby I'm happy with what I've got, and even happier for others when they achieve greater things. And it means you don't have the feeling of being happy when something goes bad for someone else, which is a serious dick-move.

TL;DR: don't be a dick about it

Edited by b14 on Tuesday 14th December 08:57

[Paul_M3]

carinaman said:

'You sound almost as dull as your car' is more a personal attack on someone than a criticism of their car.

Not to mention yesterday when somebody posted that they were on holiday and they saw that a person had collapsed. They tried to give them CPR but they died in front of them, and they were finding it hard to stop thinking about it.

The OP responded with just this comment: "and you log onto piston heads while on holiday to tell us"

[jamieduff1981]

In the main the Readers' Cars threads do tend to see people post better content. That's possibly because most people aren't utter tools afterall, but it's probably also because the car type is in the thread title and it's mostly people who have at least a passing interest who enters a thread to see what's going on. One would therefore expect to see fewer tossers in there who feel the need to tell you that they don't like the car the OP owns, and indeed raises the suspicion that at least some people who do go into threads in Readers' Cars to tell the OP they don't like it is probably trolling.

It probably depends then on the mood the receivers of such pointless negativity are in. Sometimes they'll bite back. Other times they'll see trolling for the pathetic impotence that it really is and take pity. Sometimes they can see it for what it is and think "F U" anyway.