Evoque drivers
Discussion
I have just returned from a quick shopping trip. Once again I was mugged by an Evoque driver. What is it about these numpties? Honestly, these people are so bad they must have failed idiot exams! Worse even than Audi and BMW, which are usually the pits. Their bad driving puts people who abide by the rules at risk for the sake of one place in the queue.
I read with interest that these vehicles are unreliable, GOOD. That means they will spend more time in the garage. Keep the beggars off the road.
I read with interest that these vehicles are unreliable, GOOD. That means they will spend more time in the garage. Keep the beggars off the road.
PeteH22 said:
I have just returned from a quick shopping trip. Once again I was mugged by an Evoque driver. What is it about these numpties? Honestly, these people are so bad they must have failed idiot exams! Worse even than Audi and BMW, which are usually the pits. Their bad driving puts people who abide by the rules at risk for the sake of one place in the queue.
I read with interest that these vehicles are unreliable, GOOD. That means they will spend more time in the garage. Keep the beggars off the road.
You were mugged?I read with interest that these vehicles are unreliable, GOOD. That means they will spend more time in the garage. Keep the beggars off the road.
What did they run off with?
Or did they hand you your ass on a plate?
‘I have just returned from a quick shopping trip. Once again I was mugged by an Evoque driver’
This has the makings of an epic PH meme.
In my head every time this guy goes to his local Lidl some unemployed hairstylist jumps out of an Evoque and steals his fake tan and discount Prosecco before making a slow getaway in limp home mode with a DPF warning light on.
So you think this is an organised Evoque mugging gang or you are just being targeted by the Evoque owners club as an easy mark?
This has the makings of an epic PH meme.
In my head every time this guy goes to his local Lidl some unemployed hairstylist jumps out of an Evoque and steals his fake tan and discount Prosecco before making a slow getaway in limp home mode with a DPF warning light on.
So you think this is an organised Evoque mugging gang or you are just being targeted by the Evoque owners club as an easy mark?
bloomen said:
Once upon a time I had 5 siblings and 46 cousins.
Now I have none.
Every single one was liquidated by Evoque drivers. It got to the point that I no longe bothered asking cause of death.
How is this acceptable?
were they ALL white - the Evoques,not your siblings or cousins!Now I have none.
Every single one was liquidated by Evoque drivers. It got to the point that I no longe bothered asking cause of death.
How is this acceptable?
MisterBigglesworth said:
‘I have just returned from a quick shopping trip. Once again I was mugged by an Evoque driver’
This has the makings of an epic PH meme.
In my head every time this guy goes to his local Lidl some unemployed hairstylist jumps out of an Evoque and steals his fake tan and discount Prosecco before making a slow getaway in limp home mode with a DPF warning light on.
So you think this is an organised Evoque mugging gang or you are just being targeted by the Evoque owners club as an easy mark?
This has the makings of an epic PH meme.
In my head every time this guy goes to his local Lidl some unemployed hairstylist jumps out of an Evoque and steals his fake tan and discount Prosecco before making a slow getaway in limp home mode with a DPF warning light on.
So you think this is an organised Evoque mugging gang or you are just being targeted by the Evoque owners club as an easy mark?
bloomen said:
Once upon a time I had 5 siblings and 46 cousins.
Now I have none.
Every single one was liquidated by Evoque drivers. It got to the point that I no longe bothered asking cause of death.
How is this acceptable?
You hear the tales but you think it can’t be true. Let me tell you, it’s all too true.Now I have none.
Every single one was liquidated by Evoque drivers. It got to the point that I no longe bothered asking cause of death.
How is this acceptable?
My sister used to be respected and respectable. she had a lovely life, first with her micra and then with her Mini Cooper S.
But then things changed. She started hanging out at the wrong garages.
It was when she leased a Nissan Juke - common gateway SUV, apparently - that it all started to go wrong.
She started just ‘nipping out’ into oncoming traffic around parked cars, when she should have given way.
Soon she was accelerating towards ambers..
She was already in over her knees. But it got worse.
She began to look for vehicles with even more heavily slanted/sloped windscreens.
She even started to say she liked 4 cylinder diesels.
And then it happened. She took that step.
It’s a long (off)road, but there’s no way back.
She leased an evoque. The one with that odd coloured interior, apparently achieved through use of an industrial dye.
I thought the stories couldn’t be true.
You know, the ones about the evoque croak.
Her larynx swelled up until her neck had completely enveloped her head.
She can’t even see the rear view mirror, let alone the wing mirrors.
Her friends avoid her.
She lost her job because her car wouldn’t fit under the height restriction at work.
Parents on the school run put themselves between her and their children
Some garages won’t even service her car.
The interior of her car has so over stimulated her brain that her dorsal Titterton’s node is 4 times larger than normal.
(She complained about the quality of the interior fabrics in the MRI scanner at the hospital)
It has completely distorted her spatial perception.
She’s kerbed umpteen sets of alloys. She’s always cutting people up. And she mugs people for diesel.
It’s blown our family apart.
She’s gone from a happy working mother with a great career and adoring children to a homeless Land Rover driver.
She just hangs out all day at the local one way gyratory system, down by the library and the HSS hire tools shop. Just circulating aimlessly in between bouts of idling or threatening people for a litre of fuel.
All she cares about is getting enough diesel for the day. Admit it, you’ve seen those people too. They buy 4 litres at a time. You see them at the pumps before breakfast, averting your eyes because of the awkwardness and shame. Shuffling around the petrol station aimlessly, with nowhere to go and caring for nothing but fuel.
She’s lost all personal hygiene. It’s all i can do to get her through a car wash once a month.
The worst bit?
My son has started hanging out with the wrong crowd. There is a clique at his school pushing fiat panda 4x4s. They’re safe and legal, you say. NO. SUVS wreck lives.
PeteH22 said:
I have just returned from a quick shopping trip. Once again I was mugged by an Evoque driver. What is it about these numpties? Honestly, these people are so bad they must have failed idiot exams! Worse even than Audi and BMW, which are usually the pits. Their bad driving puts people who abide by the rules at risk for the sake of one place in the queue.
I read with interest that these vehicles are unreliable, GOOD. That means they will spend more time in the garage. Keep the beggars off the road.
I know what you mean. I read with interest that these vehicles are unreliable, GOOD. That means they will spend more time in the garage. Keep the beggars off the road.
Every Pete I've ever met has been a complete numpty, ergo ALL Pete's must be. Interestingly I've heard that Pete's are also unreliable and so we're unlikely to hear from them again. Especially if they drive Evoques....
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