RE: 2023 BMW M3 Touring (G81) | PH Review
RE: 2023 BMW M3 Touring (G81) | PH Review
Sunday 22nd January 2023

2023 BMW M3 Touring (G81) | PH Review

The M3 the world has wanted for almost 40 years is finally here - was it worth the wait?


That subhead looks hyperbolic, only it’s not; the M3 really has been around for that long (the E30 first shown at the Frankfurt show in 1985), and there really hasn’t been a Touring in all that time. Which is crazy when you think about it. Instinct suggests that the original was too pure, too focused on homologation and touring car domination, for a wagon to be spun from it - only for BMW to make an M3 Convertible in 1988 and tarnish that belief entirely. Anything was game, clearly. 

There are still cherished E36 328i Tourings out there, indicating affection for those, and what an alternative to the all-conquering Audi RS2 an M3 of the mid-90s might have been. BMW loved the idea of an E46 M3 so much it made a working prototype and told us how easy it was to get together; an E90 M3 Touring could have been sold alongside the M5 equivalent with which it shared 80 per cent of a V10. And the previous generation, with all its lovely twin-turbo torque, would have surely made a sublime wagon - especially with such a handsome F31 body to stuff it into. 

But that’s the past - the coulda, woulda, shoulda M3 Tourings. Now we have a real one, all 1,865kg and £103,135 (as tested) of it. And while it wouldn’t be a review of a G8x M car without discussing the design, the news is more positive than ever this time around. We’re all a bit more familiar with the front end by now, and it almost feels like the Touring is an appropriately large car for such big grilles. Maybe. Everywhere else is brilliant, however. Granted, the profile is made to seem interesting partly because an M3 Touring has actually happened and it’s hard to get over it, but in the always subjective visual race for admiration, it probably overhauls the two-door M4. The sculpting of the doors and the flanks works well, and the black along the sill enhances its hunkered-down stance. 

Any concern that this generation lacks attitude or tension should be answered by the rear, which is easily the Touring’s best angle. The arches are downright rude, like the track of an M5 has been crammed in there and is fit to burst out, with the 20-inch wheels (19s at the front) wedged in perfectly. The way the rear lights meet a crease in the bodywork only serves to make the M3 look even broader, and the quartet of exhausts appear bigger than ever. It comes together so well it's almost like the M3 and M4 were designed around this model first, rather than the other way around. Shorn of its badges, you’d know it was an M car. Just an M car with the dog hatch rear screen. 

What a shame then that the inside is worse than the current saloon and coupe. That’s not a Touring specific thing, in fairness, but rather a symptom of the new BMW Curved Display, which has introduced a terrible dial design that will migrate to all new M3s and M4s. Perhaps there are more significant things to gripe about - especially when the head-up display is excellent - but to see speed, revs, remaining fuel and oil temperature (i.e., the really important stuff) communicated via an unholy combination of energy smart meter and kids game show graphics is remarkably dispiriting. Toggling M Mode through Road, Sport and Track, which alters assistance and the screens, only serves to introduce a laser tag theme to the mix. 

The eyesore is doubly unfortunate because the rest of the interior is terrific. BMW has arguably fallen into the trap of trying to show too much on its enormous wraparound display, but the resolution is so good it’s like operating iDrive in iMax format. Naturally, there is a great driving position - aided by optional seats - but the revelation, as you might expect, is behind them. The 3 Series Touring has never been the most accommodating of estates, we all know that, but the glass-half-full view is that this is by some distance the most practical M3 ever. 

Any passenger over six feet will be accommodated well enough behind a driver of the same height, with headroom to spare in a comfy pew and seemingly unimpacted by those arches. And while 500 litres isn’t the biggest boot ever, it’s a sensible shape and the seats fold forward at the touch of a button by the bootlid. A roof box could go on too, if needed, and the Isofix is dead easy to use as well. With the new C63 now having to accommodate hybrid bits, it would be a surprise to find the Mercedes any bigger for people and stuff. If you want to make an M3 Touring work with a family, you’ll surely be able to. 

The estate is only going to be offered in xDrive Competition format here, which is no bad thing given four driven wheels suits the remit and BMW’s all-wheel-drive system is one of the best. The model’s hefty kerbweight is 90kg more than the equivalent saloon, which sort of sounds like a lot but then is less than five per cent when talking about such a heavy car. Whether it makes a difference is one of dozens of questions you’ll likely experience driving the first M3 Touring for the first time - is it turning in less eagerly there? Is it slower here? Does the rear axle behave differently when this happens? 

The short answer, broadly speaking, is that the Touring feels very similar to its siblings. It shares with the two- and four-door variants a fiercely potent straight-six engine, the same spookily sorted drivetrain that’s apparently amenable to every request, and a doggedly determined front end that just never stops gripping. The same superlative damping means it can still do mellow when you want it, albeit of the tightly controlled sort. The Touring even shares the less desirable traits, like a Sport setting for the brakes; not only is it unnecessary when the optional ceramics are beyond much reproach anyway, it doesn’t make any difference. Similarly, it’s possible to get used to the extra heft of Sport steering, but it seldom does it seem like an improvement on Comfort. So why have it? 

Only when driving a bit quicker (and a ‘bit’ in G8x terms tends to undersell the speed being piled on) does the wagon perhaps feel that bit heavier, that fraction less willing. That the differences are subtle enough to want back-to-back driving suggests that they might be of little concern to a Touring customer, but there are moments when you suspect the M4 might not have left a body movement unchecked, or have turned in a millisecond more abruptly. Regardless - or, perhaps more relevantly - the M3 makes the current Audi RS4 feel about 20 years old and 200kg heavier with the way it stops, turns and goes. It is on another level entirely, and, in terms of ground-covering ability, easily qualifies as one of the quickest and most capable estate cars ever made. If the new C63 proves superior (and early experience suggests it probably isn’t) it’ll be gobsmackingly good. 

Certainly, the overriding sensation is that the M3 experience that we’ve become familiar with - and very fond of - has transferred impressively well to the Touring. If there's a blemish, it’s the lingering suspicion that the wagon seemed a mite less rear-biased than earlier xDrive models or even the Alpina B3 when in its default 4WD mode. Potentially the Michelin Pilot Sport 4 S tyres fitted here can claim to be grippier than the Alpina’s bespoke Pirelli P Zeroes - or potentially your correspondent was not being brave enough in MDM mode because you don’t want to be the person to ruin BMW’s week - but in comparable conditions, the Touring did seem that bit keener to hurl power forward and straighten itself out. Of course, if that matters to you, rest assured two-wheel drive is just a button press away, and still a hoot. A long wheelbase, a tightly wound M diff and the S58’s instantaneous response see to that. 

Ultimately, the car’s ability to ape M car scallywaggery is obviously a reason to rejoice - but it does suggest a pause for reflection, too. By faithfully replicating the intensity and impressive bandwidth of the conventional M3 and M4, you do occasionally wonder if BMW has overshot the requirements of a car that will surely be bought with some family use in mind. We’ve praised Alpina’s version of the Touring at length recently, and with its cushier Comfort Plus suspension and much more subdued styling - not to mention an engine tune that plays up the effortlessness of a higher torque figure - and it isn’t hard to imagine it fitting into a broader, more mundane use case more conveniently, while still providing ample entertainment when necessary. 

Or, to put it another way, you probably need to really want an M3 to want the Touring version. Because the B3 is already all the fast family estate car anyone could ever need. Depending on your personal preference, the M3 either falls just below it in the consummate all-rounder stakes - or soars above it as a B road-slaying performance car with the added convenience of a big boot. Don’t buy one without considering the other, basically. Which, of course, is the best bit - you now have a choice, and that’s what we’ve been waiting nearly four decades to be able to say. The fact that the first-ever M3 Touring is also a wonderful and properly legitimate M car just makes the moment all the sweeter. 


SPECIFICATION | BMW M3 TOURING COMPETITION XDRIVE (G81) 

Engine: 2,993cc, twin-turbo straight-six
Transmission: 8-speed auto, all-wheel drive
Power (hp): 510@6,250rpm
Torque (lb ft): 479@2,750-5,500rpm
0-62mph: 3.5sec
Top speed: 155mph
Weight: 1,865kg DIN, 1,940kg EU
MPG: 28-28.2
CO2: 230-227g/km
Price: £80,605 (price as standard; price as tested £103,135 (erk) comprised of BMW M 50 Years badges for £300, Ultimate Pack (Heated steering wheel, Comfort Access, Extended Storage Contents, M carbon bucket seats, Driving Assistant Professional, Laserlights, Parking Assistant Plus, Drive Recorder, M Carbon Exterior Styling) for £11,250, Frozen Pure Grey II metallic paint for £2,985 and M Pro Pack (M Carbon Ceramic Brakes with gold calipers and M Driver’s Pack) for £7,995 

Author
Discussion

Master Bean

Original Poster:

5,243 posts

150 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
Did you enjoy driving the Uffington White Horse triangle?

Clivey

5,695 posts

234 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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Auto only, AWD only and with *that* grille? We've waited this long for an M3 Touring and they've gone and absolutely ruined it.

Edited by Clivey on Friday 20th January 01:52

Wren-went

1,065 posts

68 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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Yes please absolute perfection, but BMW that's extracting the urine £300 for some BMW M 50 years Badges, on a car with extras costing near enough 105 grand.

Mercutio

336 posts

192 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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Clivey said:
Auto only, AWD only and with *that* grille? We've waited this long for an M3 Touring and they've gone and absolutely ruined it.

Edited by Clivey on Friday 20th January 01:52
Agreed, but sadly these things (auto, AWD, aggressive grill) are now default in any performance line of mid market manufacturer.

I’m only 41 but I can’t understand the default “black pack/black edition” look everything comes in, with black wheels and grills.

Privacy glass? You can’t even option it without - because “everyone wants it”.

And here is the st, boring colour 80% of them will be in.

anonymous-user

84 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
Laughably ugly and laughable price.

bitofayank

109 posts

99 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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The rear 3/4 angle whew (hot under the collar)!! Side on however, what happened?! So much going on, looks like a Chinese knockoff of an M3 estate. Just how are their designers able to get approvals? I need to bleach my eyes.
Also the nose. Also the auto box. Don’t mind the awd

aston addict

475 posts

188 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
Chavtastic express for hauling ill gotten gains around in the boot.

Me, B3 touring any day over this. Classy, understated - just need to fit the pre-LCI dash.

big_rob_sydney

3,671 posts

224 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
What has happened to PH? For years, all the robustly built company director types were telling us that turbo and AWD were st. Let alone the fact that you simply HAD to have a manual. And this comes with that nose as well? And over £100k for a 3 series??? Jesus. Knuckle draggers unite, I guess. Meanwhile, those not living in the dinosaur juice past will just look at this and laugh.

Sandpit Steve

15,312 posts

104 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
The only thing in its favour, is that it has more than four cylinders. Apart from that, another great illustration of everything the industry in general, and BMW in particular, are getting wrong at the momemt. Who can afford more than £100k for an M3, now that interest rates are no longer zero and this will likely be north of £2k a month to lease?

drpep

1,761 posts

198 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
Awful. Why do they insist on the lack of manual box?

Could almost forgive the nose for a manual box but then my opinions do not matter one bit. I’m sure there will be plenty of folks willing to rent these for 3 years.

Old stuff gets more appealing by the day.

g3org3y

22,505 posts

221 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
bitofayank said:
The rear 3/4 angle whew (hot under the collar)!! Side on however, what happened?! So much going on, looks like a Chinese knockoff of an M3 estate.
Agreed. Maybe the lighting for the profile shot isn't 'favourable' but it's not the best.

PSB1967

502 posts

186 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
I did like it until I saw it was £105K and remembered every B road near me has been reduced to 50mph. Can we start having Acceleration times measured at 0-50 please? I want to know how more quickly £105K of Beemer gets to the 'limit' compared to my shed.

Mannginger

10,286 posts

287 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
I parked next to one last weekend. Exact same external colour as mine and the dark blue did a fair job of absorbing that gopping front end. Overall it's a bit of a brute to look at.

That said when I compared it to mine I much preferred the understated looks of the 340 so I'd definitely take the Alpine B3 Touring over the M3. I guess I have to acknowledge that I've become a bit of an old man!



jameswills

3,583 posts

73 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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Auto, 4wd, nearly 2 tonnes. That’s not an M3, go try again.

iphonedyou

10,422 posts

187 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
Sandpit Steve said:
The only thing in its favour, is that it has more than four cylinders. Apart from that, another great illustration of everything the industry in general, and BMW in particular, are getting wrong at the momemt. Who can afford more than £100k for an M3, now that interest rates are no longer zero and this will likely be north of £2k a month to lease?
Loads of people. Maybe not you (or me), but loads of people. Good on them.

Numeric

1,499 posts

181 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
PSB1967 said:
I did like it until I saw it was £105K and remembered every B road near me has been reduced to 50mph. Can we start having Acceleration times measured at 0-50 please? I want to know how more quickly £105K of Beemer gets to the 'limit' compared to my shed.
I know it's off topic - but is there any research that shows the 50 mph thing actually works? They have done this all over Wiltshire but it feels like a 'look we have done something' thing rather than an actual improvement.

Vee12V

1,410 posts

190 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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Apart from 'that grille' it's a shame you can only get drug dealer specs.

Tin Hat

1,429 posts

239 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
And there was me thinking that only Alpina specs alarmingly bad interior colour combinations.

griffdude

1,930 posts

278 months

Friday 20th January 2023
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Tin Hat said:
And there was me thinking that only Alpina specs alarmingly bad interior colour combinations.
It’s awful isn’t it? Much prefer the B3.

covmutley

3,377 posts

220 months

Friday 20th January 2023
quotequote all
Silly design, silly price.

The side profile is almost the same as an older model, but just looks bloated and bulbous in area s that dont help it. Old shape is far more elegant and those black wheels are hideous .

|https://thumbsnap.com/ZzbDmnwA

|https://thumbsnap.com/CtSfrS83