"I am not your friend"!

[surveyor]

My daughter failed her driving test last week. One major - parking opposite a junction. Her instructor felt it was harsh but it is what it is.

When they got into the car, she told him she was nervous. His response, while probably accurate, did not really seem to be designed to set the candidate at ease. "I am not your friend!".

I'm slightly astounded. But perhaps I am just being protective. All very odd.

[Bonefish Blues]

Odd indeed. I'd have felt much the same as you.

[Lincsls1]

Yes, odd.
It was a mean and unnecessary to say that, but there's nothing you can do about it.
Unfortunately, some (many) people are just 'not nice'. Some (many) people are just odd.
He might also be sat at home now reflecting on what he said and regret it. Who knows.

[Bonefish Blues]

Lincsls1 said:

Yes, odd.
It was a mean and unnecessary to say that, but there's nothing you can do about it.
Unfortunately, some (many) people are just 'not nice'. Some (many) people are just odd.
He might also be sat at home now reflecting on what he said and regret it. Who knows.

Yes but no but it's not as if he hasn't heard that before. If its his stock response, then he's just a tosser with a clipboard and a superiority complex.

[ChocolateFrog]

They must just be a weird bunch.

My examiner was odd too.

[Gordon Hill]

Maybe when he's finished with that particular career he could get a job as a doctor's receptionist, they display a similar kind of warmth and humanity.

[swisstoni]

Sorry to hear she failed and wish her better luck next time.

But, everyone is nervous in the driving test.
The examiner didn’t need to phase their response the way they did but there really is no point in telling the examiner how you are feeling.

[Bonefish Blues]

Nervous people do that sort of thing, particularly nervous young people - who make up the majority of the Test demographic, I'm guessing.

[Random Account No6]

Sounds like a miserable bellend.

[Hoofy]

Random Account No6 said:

Sounds like a miserable bellend.

^^^^^

[anonymous-user]

The examiner isn't supposed to engage in that sort of conversation with the candidate. But TBH your daughter has just failed her exam so wont be her best mate and you've only got her side of the story while feeling quite miffed. The examiner is supposed to respond on a like to like basis with the candidate.

[JaredVannett]

Brutal.

[Lincsls1]

pocketspring said:

But TBH your daughter has just failed her exam so wont be her best mate and you've only got her side of the story while feeling quite miffed.

Must admit I had considered this too.

[surveyor]

pocketspring said:

The examiner isn't supposed to engage in that sort of conversation with the candidate. But TBH your daughter has just failed her exam so wont be her best mate and you've only got her side of the story while feeling quite miffed. The examiner is supposed to respond on a like to like basis with the candidate.

The conversation was on the way to the car. And I'm conscious I've only got her story - although it's taken a couple of weeks for this to come out. It's not been said in a fit of pique.

I would have thought that the conversation goes "I'm really nervous". Examiner. "Plenty of people have been in your position. Just keep calm and do the best that you can...."

Candidate a bit more at ease and move on...

[anonymous-user]

surveyor said:

pocketspring said:

The examiner isn't supposed to engage in that sort of conversation with the candidate. But TBH your daughter has just failed her exam so wont be her best mate and you've only got her side of the story while feeling quite miffed. The examiner is supposed to respond on a like to like basis with the candidate.

The conversation was on the way to the car. And I'm conscious I've only got her story - although it's taken a couple of weeks for this to come out. It's not been said in a fit of pique.

I would have thought that the conversation goes "I'm really nervous". Examiner. "Plenty of people have been in your position. Just keep calm and do the best that you can...."

Candidate a bit more at ease and move on...

You said in your first post, they were already in the car. I'm not nit picking but just goes to show what could be perceived and what actually happens is two different things. And you're quite right what the proper response should have been hence why I also said it.

[surveyor]

pocketspring said:

surveyor said:

pocketspring said:

The examiner isn't supposed to engage in that sort of conversation with the candidate. But TBH your daughter has just failed her exam so wont be her best mate and you've only got her side of the story while feeling quite miffed. The examiner is supposed to respond on a like to like basis with the candidate.

The conversation was on the way to the car. And I'm conscious I've only got her story - although it's taken a couple of weeks for this to come out. It's not been said in a fit of pique.

I would have thought that the conversation goes "I'm really nervous". Examiner. "Plenty of people have been in your position. Just keep calm and do the best that you can...."

Candidate a bit more at ease and move on...

You said in your first post, they were already in the car. I'm not nit picking but just goes to show what could be perceived and what actually happens is two different things. And you're quite right what the proper response should have been hence why I also said it.

When they got in the car.... It would be bad to fail before having driven anywhere...

[anonymous-user]

surveyor said:

pocketspring said:

surveyor said:

pocketspring said:

The examiner isn't supposed to engage in that sort of conversation with the candidate. But TBH your daughter has just failed her exam so wont be her best mate and you've only got her side of the story while feeling quite miffed. The examiner is supposed to respond on a like to like basis with the candidate.

The conversation was on the way to the car. And I'm conscious I've only got her story - although it's taken a couple of weeks for this to come out. It's not been said in a fit of pique.

I would have thought that the conversation goes "I'm really nervous". Examiner. "Plenty of people have been in your position. Just keep calm and do the best that you can...."

Candidate a bit more at ease and move on...

You said in your first post, they were already in the car. I'm not nit picking but just goes to show what could be perceived and what actually happens is two different things. And you're quite right what the proper response should have been hence why I also said it.

When they got in the car.... It would be bad to fail before having driven anywhere...

Eh?

[georgeyboy12345]

She was probably blabbering to him and he wanted her to shut up and get on with the test.

[Bonefish Blues]

"I appreciate that you are nervous but do please concentrate on your driving to give yourself the best chance of passing"

[budgie smuggler]

surveyor said:

My daughter failed her driving test last week. One major - parking opposite a junction. Her instructor felt it was harsh but it is what it is.

When they got into the car, she told him she was nervous. His response, while probably accurate, did not really seem to be designed to set the candidate at ease. "I am not your friend!".

I'm slightly astounded. But perhaps I am just being protective. All very odd.

Lol I had similar 25 years ago, it was the chief examiner in Chelmsford. Miserable prat.

I made some comment about being nervous and made a crappy joke along the lines of "maybe I shouldn't have had that 5th coffee", he just rolled his eyes, tutted and told me "oh do drive on, when you're ready ".

Edited by budgie smuggler on Friday 1st September 21:39