The adventures of billy bullsh!t
Discussion
At work there is a young lad who like to furnish our cigarette breaks with his stories. Most of which have seen him affectionately become known (behind his back) as billy bulls
t.
Here's today's offering.
Apparently when he was 14, his mum was driving at about 80mph in the outside lane of the m’way, when a micra (bearing in mind at 7-8 years ago, we’re talking about the old shape tissue box on wheels version) pulled out on them, causing them to swerve up onto two wheels and hit the back of it. The collision, allegedly, caused the micra to flip and barrel roll 8 or 9 times down the motorway. That’s 8 or 9 full revolutions onto its roof etc, before finally ending up on it’s wheels…. Which I hasten to add had all apparently flown off the wreck as it was careering down the road.
Anyway, I digress, the lucky occupants of the aforementioned micra, a chap, his wife and their young baby in a baby seat, made it out of the wreck with no injuries other than scratches and shock!
Now, having seen what happens to a rally car at only 50-60mph when it rolls 3 times with an FIA approved roll cage and stitch welded and braced chassis, you’ll understand that in my humble opinion, a sh!tbox micra with no cage, rolling 8 times (frankly twice would be enough) should pretty much end up either flattened or torn open like a cake box in a fat camp. The occupants of said box of effluent, would I fear, be at best permanently disabled, if not very very very dead!
Trying for all of 0.5 seconds to bite my tongue, I found myself calling bullsh!t on the whole story, only to have it relayed to me twice more, accompanied by the supportive and re-affirmation words of, “honestly”, “genuinely” and “I know it’s unbelievable”.
The last comment “I know it’s unbelievable” seems to be the most honest moment of the anecdote, although I fear the poor lad is catastrophically unaware of why that might be!
t.Here's today's offering.
Apparently when he was 14, his mum was driving at about 80mph in the outside lane of the m’way, when a micra (bearing in mind at 7-8 years ago, we’re talking about the old shape tissue box on wheels version) pulled out on them, causing them to swerve up onto two wheels and hit the back of it. The collision, allegedly, caused the micra to flip and barrel roll 8 or 9 times down the motorway. That’s 8 or 9 full revolutions onto its roof etc, before finally ending up on it’s wheels…. Which I hasten to add had all apparently flown off the wreck as it was careering down the road.
Anyway, I digress, the lucky occupants of the aforementioned micra, a chap, his wife and their young baby in a baby seat, made it out of the wreck with no injuries other than scratches and shock!
Now, having seen what happens to a rally car at only 50-60mph when it rolls 3 times with an FIA approved roll cage and stitch welded and braced chassis, you’ll understand that in my humble opinion, a sh!tbox micra with no cage, rolling 8 times (frankly twice would be enough) should pretty much end up either flattened or torn open like a cake box in a fat camp. The occupants of said box of effluent, would I fear, be at best permanently disabled, if not very very very dead!
Trying for all of 0.5 seconds to bite my tongue, I found myself calling bullsh!t on the whole story, only to have it relayed to me twice more, accompanied by the supportive and re-affirmation words of, “honestly”, “genuinely” and “I know it’s unbelievable”.
The last comment “I know it’s unbelievable” seems to be the most honest moment of the anecdote, although I fear the poor lad is catastrophically unaware of why that might be!
The problem with someone like that is once the story is out in the open, their ego won't let them retract any of it, or let them admit that they may have embellished a few points.
We used to have a guy like that in our motorcycle club, though we used to call him bullsh!t Nigel to his face. One guy even managed to buy an aerosol can of bullsh!t repellant (that's how it was labelled, but in reality it was just air freshener) which he liberally sprayed around as soon as BS Nige opened his mouth.
We used to have a guy like that in our motorcycle club, though we used to call him bullsh!t Nigel to his face. One guy even managed to buy an aerosol can of bullsh!t repellant (that's how it was labelled, but in reality it was just air freshener) which he liberally sprayed around as soon as BS Nige opened his mouth.
DIW35 said:
The problem with someone like that is once the story is out in the open, their ego won't let them retract any of it, or let them admit that they may have embellished a few points.
Classic retractions from a bullstter 
Saw a SAAB roll three times on the M4. Occupants got out. Their injuries were minor and mostly caused by the airbags.
The driver was being an utter tool and it was his swerving about that caused him to spin - he hit the central barrier, rebounded onto the verge and a wheel caught in it's edge flipping the car.
Cars are amazingly good and safe these days.
The driver was being an utter tool and it was his swerving about that caused him to spin - he hit the central barrier, rebounded onto the verge and a wheel caught in it's edge flipping the car.
Cars are amazingly good and safe these days.
Don said:
Saw a SAAB roll three times on the M4. Occupants got out. Their injuries were minor and mostly caused by the airbags.
Cars are amazingly good and safe these days.
Yes, but a K11 micra rolling 8 times without damaging the occupants, one of which was a fragile child?Cars are amazingly good and safe these days.
I'm going to have to call bulls
t on Billy's story as well.i rolled a fair few times in a ford explorer, not the sideways rolley ones but the end over end rolley ones..
everyone walked away with cuts and bruises but all alive.. though my little bros cut was pretty fking massive and some serious blood.. its amazing how much it hurts after being punched in the face with an airbag.
wasnt in this country was in oman so no ambulance, i ran back to the moterway and had to wait a fair few minutes to flag down the first car to take us to hospital.
cause of the crash, firestone tyres on ford explorers, both rear tires stripped,
did we sue... ohhhh yes.
everyone walked away with cuts and bruises but all alive.. though my little bros cut was pretty f
king massive and some serious blood.. its amazing how much it hurts after being punched in the face with an airbag. wasnt in this country was in oman so no ambulance, i ran back to the moterway and had to wait a fair few minutes to flag down the first car to take us to hospital.
cause of the crash, firestone tyres on ford explorers, both rear tires stripped,
did we sue... ohhhh yes.
I’m not saying I believe it but something similar happened to a mate’s Mum in 1989, back when we were at school. She’s just bought a new Fiesta (one of the first 5 door models) and was driving down a dual carriageway at about 50 when a front tyre exploded, flipping the car over twice and luckily coming to rest back on its wheels. She was fine but the road had to be closed to clear the wreckage, and to clear the months worth of shopping that had spilled out of the boot!
Just to add my 2 pence to that last comment, young children actually arent that fragile.
In fact because they're bones arent fully developed they are less dense and more flexible than a fully grown adult and dont tend to break as easily. Plus, because they dont expect danger they dont tense up before a major impact, and they'r relaxed body absorbs impacts far better.
Still.... i dont think any of that would save a child being rolled over 8 times at 80mph in a Micra lol
In fact because they're bones arent fully developed they are less dense and more flexible than a fully grown adult and dont tend to break as easily. Plus, because they dont expect danger they dont tense up before a major impact, and they'r relaxed body absorbs impacts far better.
Still.... i dont think any of that would save a child being rolled over 8 times at 80mph in a Micra lol
DiscoStu said:
Just to add my 2 pence to that last comment, young children actually arent that fragile.
In fact because they're bones arent fully developed they are less dense and more flexible than a fully grown adult and dont tend to break as easily. Plus, because they dont expect danger they dont tense up before a major impact, and they'r relaxed body absorbs impacts far better.
Still.... i dont think any of that would save a child being rolled over 8 times at 80mph in a Micra lol
true story.. look at survivors of recent plane crashes, if there has been some, they are kids. In fact because they're bones arent fully developed they are less dense and more flexible than a fully grown adult and dont tend to break as easily. Plus, because they dont expect danger they dont tense up before a major impact, and they'r relaxed body absorbs impacts far better.
Still.... i dont think any of that would save a child being rolled over 8 times at 80mph in a Micra lol
DIW35 said:
We used to have a guy like that in our motorcycle club, though we used to call him bullsh!t Nigel to his face. One guy even managed to buy an aerosol can of bullsh!t repellant (that's how it was labelled, but in reality it was just air freshener) which he liberally sprayed around as soon as BS Nige opened his mouth.
I once knew someone who worked for the MOD (although we found out later that said job was a temporary caterer) who was working on a top secret project. This project was a force field for armoured vehicles, capable of deflecting anything from a bullet to a nuclear blast. Sadly he couldn't tell us any more, as we might be killed.
Still haven't seen this device on the battlefield. Perhaps there's a problem with the patent?
Still haven't seen this device on the battlefield. Perhaps there's a problem with the patent?
G_T said:
Don said:
Saw a SAAB roll three times on the M4. Occupants got out. Their injuries were minor and mostly caused by the airbags.
Cars are amazingly good and safe these days.
Yes, but a K11 micra rolling 8 times without damaging the occupants, one of which was a fragile child?Cars are amazingly good and safe these days.
I'm going to have to call bulls
t on Billy's story as well.t, the world record for rolling a car is 7 times, done by a DBS when filming Casino Royale, and that had some modifications so that it would roll lots of times on purpose. So a bog standard old lady spec micra just won't roll that many times at all. Mind you, it is very light, being made from good ol' Spit n Kleenex.I know a guy who reckons he totalled an Audi A8 by driving it into the "invisible" hanger on some ex air force base that they store cars at now. 
Seriously, he HONESTLY believes it happened and that we are meant to believe him. He reckons it was an ex USAF base and they painted the hanger to hide stealth bombers in "before they even came out" and when they abandoned it they forgot to paint it in a none invisible paint!
I remember listening to it and pretending to lap it all up just to keep him going! I suggested maybe they could not find it to paint it the right colour.... !!
Seriously, he HONESTLY believes it happened and that we are meant to believe him. He reckons it was an ex USAF base and they painted the hanger to hide stealth bombers in "before they even came out" and when they abandoned it they forgot to paint it in a none invisible paint!
I remember listening to it and pretending to lap it all up just to keep him going! I suggested maybe they could not find it to paint it the right colour.... !!
Edited by s3fella on Friday 17th July 12:11
Sometimes, just sometimes miracles happen and people walk away from accidents that should have killed them - having said that, 8 times would be a big miracles!
Negative Creep said:
I once knew someone who worked for the MOD (although we found out later that said job was a temporary caterer) who was working on a top secret project. This project was a force field for armoured vehicles, capable of deflecting anything from a bullet to a nuclear blast. Sadly he couldn't tell us any more, as we might be killed.
Still haven't seen this device on the battlefield. Perhaps there's a problem with the patent?
Not seeing it on the battle field doesnt mean it doesnt exist, people didnt see the SR-71 but it existed. The force field bit may have been an exaggeration though.Still haven't seen this device on the battlefield. Perhaps there's a problem with the patent?
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